How does a father feel about the birth of his first child? I'm at the hospital. My uncle's wife just gave birth to their first child, a girl. I saw him after the baby was born, and he was speechless with watery eyes.
It was an overwhelming torrent of emotion.When I first laid eyes on Sophie, I burst into tears. All the tension and worry prior to the Caesarean gave way to relief. My baby was safe. My wife was safe. I held my wife's hand as she lay on the table, and told her "she's beautiful!" (She wasn't, she was all covered in gunk. But you know what I mean). The neonatalogist took Sophie to a nearby table and proceeded to massage her chest. The relief turned into worry again. Why isn't she crying? Why isn't she moving? Is she breathing? They're pumping air into her now. Is she ok? What if she doesn't cry? What if she's stillborn? Oh lord what will I do then. I squeezed my wife's hand. For the longest time, there was silence. Then, a tiny wail from yon table. That tiny wail grew into a giant all-out no-holds-barred BAWLING. I sagged in relief again. My baby was safe. All was well.There was a long wait. My wife was being sewn up. Sophie was being examined by the doctor. I just sat there feeling more than a little out-of-place. There's nothing more useless than a father in the delivery room.The nurses brought Sophie over. It was incredibly emotional. No words were spoken. We just held her and kissed her -gunk and all- and basked in the glow of holding our daughter for the first time. The nurse came over. "We'll have to clean her first", and took her from us. There's no bloody way I'm letting her out of my sight, lady. I gave my wife a quick peck on the cheek, and sped off after the nurse. My family was waiting outside. "She's here!". Everyone crowded around the little wheeled carriage they put her on. 'ello.The nurses took her into the maternity ward. They gave her a little prick on the sole of her foot to take a blood sample. Sophie gave a heart-wrenching cry. I had to suppress the urge to growl.The nurses bathed her, massaged her, and showed me how to wrap her. I stayed at the ward for ages. Oh sh*t I forgot about my wife. The nurses assured me they'll bring Sophie up when she's ready. I sped up to our room, and my wife was there. We held each other for the longest time.So to answer your question: a mixture of worry, fear, joy, relief, more worry, doubt, more fear, more relief, uselessness, awkwardness, raw inexpressible emotion, more joy, protectiveness, pride, more protectiveness, tenderness and just plain good old-fashioned happiness.Edit:Oh and a deep sense of love and appreciation for my wife. Sorry about that dear.
Do you feel differently about your adopted child after giving birth?
Yes. Definitely.I met my adopted daughter at 9 months old. That is when she joined our family. About 9.5 months later I gave birth to her 1st little sister. Later, I birthed 2 more girls and 1 boy.Here is how I feel differently about my adopted daughter after giving birth to biological children...I love her even more than before. I grieve that I had to miss her first 9 months of life. With every “1st” I got to enjoy with my bio newborns, I wondered about my adopted daughter’s firsts and what they were and felt sad that I missed them. I wondered even more how and when she got that little scar on her foot…a boo-boo I wasn’t there to kiss when it was fresh.I also felt more connected to her birthmom. Thinking of what heartache it had to be leaving her baby at the hospital for whatever reason she had to…and just hoping against hope she would truly be okay. Realizing that I get to enjoy all of the things about her birth daughter that she will never have the privilege to enjoy. Yet, I am given the honor of being her Mama!Funny enough of all 5 of my kids, she looks the most different, but we are the most similar on the inside. God definitely put us together and I can’t imagine my life without her.With each birth she has tried to explain to her siblings how she grew in another woman’s body, not mine. They argue with her about that. Even though she looks Asian and they are all white, as my 6 year old said with a shrug yesterday, “Oh yeah. I always forget because you’re just my sister.”So yes, family dynamics changed, but not because she is adopted and they are bio. Rather because more people = more to adjust to life with. But if I had to say things changed for the better or worse I can only say “for the better.”
Excited first time grandma? or thinks shes the mom of my child?
while pregnant my BF's mom was super excited and very helpful toward the end of my pregnancy i stared to feel as if she was smothering me and in a way becoming very possessive of my 1st child and her 1st grandchild. This 1st month that my child has been born i have had a difficult time dealing with her, when my BF and i asked for a few days to ourselves when the baby was born to bond, she made a huge drama and made me out to look like i was wrong for wanting time with my family. Recently she has been acting as if the child is hers and making remarks that make me feel as if shes overstepping her boundaries. My last encounter with her was when she watched my child for a few hours and i came back to find her sitting in her bra with the baby on her chest. she said she had jewels on her shirt and didnt want to hurt the baby my BF and i let her know that we felt very uncomfortable and she hs now made it seem like were wrong and she has the right to act as she pleased bcuz shes gma.
What does it mean to be a new father? I'm expecting my first child, and sometimes I feel nervous about it.
I was in your shoes about two years ago. I was 38. Kind of a selfish person. A man prone to worry, anxiety, and other fun things. I wasn't and still am not a very organized person. I would lie in bed while my wife was pregnant and think that in just a couple of months, I would be a dad. It freaked me out and kept me up late many nights.But then, we were at the hospital. In a big room. My wife was very nauseous from an anti-nausea medicine and getting sick while being cut open. A few minutes later, the doctor handed me this slimy, squinty little girl and I knew that everything was going to be alright. I felt for the first time in my life that I had a real responsibility and purpose.I can't lie. I still got nervous the first few months of her life. I'd lay in bed and listen to her breathing. If she got too quiet, I'd go over to her crib every now and then just to check on her. But I eventually told myself that she was like a train. She was on a track. And she was going to continue on that track. She could derail, but it would take something out of the ordinary for it to happen.She'll be two next month. I feel better now than before I knew my wife was pregnant. The best advice I can give you is care. And be patient. Those are the two best things you can do as a parent. Believe in yourself and you'll be fine.
Single Moms: Was dating even harder after having your child?
I will be 26 two months before I give birth to my first child. I’m doing it as a single mother. I’m excited and obviously my kid is my main priority but if my dating life was hard before getting pregnant is it harder after giving birth? I do feel lonely at times and like everyone I want to find love again. I want to have a fairy tale relationship that leads into a fairy tale wedding etc. Just scared that my love life is officially over. My dating life has always been hard but I hear men say how they’d never date someone with kid(s) . I was talking to one guy but I found out I was pregnant and he obviously didn’t want to peruse anything with me since I’m pregnant and it’s not his. I met him before I found out I was pregnant
Im a 22 year old got 16 year old pregnant im scared and nead help....?
Im 22 years old and im dating a 16 year old and i love her to death... Well she is pregnant with my kid and we are both excited... she told her mom last night and her mom didnt freak as bad as we thought she would..... And we dont think her mom is going to get me for statatury rape... But is there still a chance of me going to jail... I want to be there for the whole pregnancy and the birth..... And i want to marry her before the baby is born.... Need advice....
I'm scared I'm not going to be a good mom. Is this just pregnancy anxiety?
I know this is long. an I'm sorry about that ha ha I'm 34 weeks pregnant with my first, and just recently (like in the past couple weeks or so) I've started to get really scared that I'm not ready and I won't be able to handle it. I was always the baby of the family, I've never had the opportunity to be around young children very much. In other words I have NO experience. I've always had a temper. I don't lose it easily though. And I'm the type of person that would just rather be left alone. I'm 100% happier spending time at home with my husband than going out with other people. Now my husband is the complete opposite. Hes had a lot of experience with children. He practically raised his niece and nephew himself. hes much more outgoing than I am. basically hes everything I'm not ha ha. I'm so scared my personality will keep me from making a good bond with my baby. What if he doesn't like me? I know hes going to bond with his Daddy. there is no doubt about that. But I'm scared my son will like him more than me... I have this image in my head of my son just screaming and crying all day long, and no matter I do he won't calm down but the second my husband walks in the door he stops crying and reaches for him. and that just breaks my heart. I know that's silly to be jealous of my husband. But I can't stop thinking these things and doubting myself. has anyone else felt like this? is this just yet another pregnancy symptom? Will these feelings go away by the time my son is here? Just some reassurance and advice from the mommies out there would be nice.
Just learned I'm pregnant, boyfriends mom thinks I am 'unstable'. How should I feel about her comments?
I'll admit when I started reading your question and saw that you are unmarried, expecting a baby with someone you've only been with for 7 months AND had a baby from a previous relationship...I thought you probably were unstable. BUT...then I kept ready and when I heard you talk about the way you protected your son and how established you are in your career, I had to change my opinion. As hard as it is, try to let your "MIL's" comments roll off your back. When my husband and I announced we were expecting our oldest, my mother in law reacted the exact same way. She was worried we were too young, she was worried what her FRIEND'S would think (lol) all sorts of concerns. She actually went as far as telling my husband not to talk about the baby when she was around!! As you could probably imagine, I was pissed beyond belief!! This was my first born child we were talking about here and I wanted nothing but excited anticipation!! Eventually, my mother in law came around and once my son was born, she was head over heels in love with him. I think she was just concerned about whether or not we were aware how big the responsabilities of parenthood truely are...AND I think she was a bit unprepared to become a "granny!" :) I am so thankful that I kept my mouth shut and didn't ever tell her what I REALLY thought of her during that time of transition. Today we all have a fantastic relationship and "granny" absolutely dotes on her grandchildren.