I Am Worried I Might Be A Racist How Can I Tell

I am black and about to Travel to Vietnam. Should I be worried about racism?

On one hand, there's definitely racism (or rather, xenophobia) in Vietnam. On the other hand, it's very subtle. People who hold prejudices against black people won't just straight up go to you and call you derogatory terms, harass you or anything, they will just avoid making contacts with you. Of course there are many who are completely fine with foreigners in general and black people in particular. If you just come to Vietnam to travel, then it's completely fine and you don't need to worry about racism. As far as I know there has been no case of racism-related violence towards black people. There are many things you will need to worry before your skin color.

Can I tell my therapist that I think I’m racist? I’ve never said that before and I am super ashamed. Will he judge me for it?

This question raises at least 5 issues that could be very useful to discuss in therapy; and asking the question suggests that you are aware of important matters here and are motivated to deal with them. The issues are:What do you imagine “being judged” means?Why do you care about being judged? (This is not a rhetorical question… it is something to try to answer in detail: why?)What do you mean by “racist” and why do you care if you are… whatever that means? (Perhaps this is connected with your feelings about people you care about… for what ever reason… whom you think are “racist” and your concern about judging them yourself.)You are “super-ashamed”: exactly what do you mean… how does that feel? It would be great to keep feeling super-ashamed (to hang on to that feeling) and yet to be able to discuss that feeling while you are feeling it. It’s like being very scared in battle, yet facing the scary stuff… that’s called “bravery”. If you can do something like that in therapy you can make real progress.Your therapist may reassure you that he will not “judge” you… but suppose he does. (It could be very useful to work with the notion that he does judge you even if he does not.) It would be good to discuss how you might feel if he judges you and to come up with various ways that you could handle that… both within yourself and with him. In other words, instead of looking at the therapist as perfect and unchangeable, suppose his “judging” is a flaw in him, but something you and he could deal with, so that you could either straighten him out or mutually find a way to work together productively despite his continuing to judge you. Being “judged” is not the end of the world and need not be the end of a relationship. Here’s a chance to examine this issue and see how to deal with similar issues as they come up outside of therapy (which they will, of course… it happens to everyone… a lot… and is nearly always manageable and worth managing).It’s a good idea to set up a rule for therapy: if you feel like quitting (for example, if you feel like your therapist is really down on you for being a racist) do not permit yourself to quit for at least 3 more sessions during which you discuss and explore wanting to quit. This makes is “safe” to take on a feeling (even a decision) about quitting without actually harming the therapy process. By the end of the 3rd session you could “change your mind” and could have learned something valuable.

Should I worry about racism when I visit Poland?

You should be fine in the touristy areas in bigger cities during daytime or early evening hours. Avoid dodgy streets off the beaten track and these can sometimes be in the city center funny enough. On average I would say you’re more likely to experience racism in Poland or other eastern European countries than in the west, as people there are not used to dark skinned visitors and also the chances of bumping into degenerate, fascist hoodlums are higher than anywhere in the west. The current political climate has also fueled more animosities towards immigrants among the more radical/right wing part of the society. Having said that, I still think Poland is slowly improving and people are getting increasingly used to having different looking individuals around them. My girlfriend is mixed race, I have visited Poland with her 20 times, we’ve been to big cities, small towns and villages and we’ve never experienced anything truly unpleasant, the worst probably being a drunk woman wanting to touch her hair at the tram stop. I have to however note down that we’ve mostly walked/gone to places together and I sort of know what areas to avoid; a casual person who lacks this knowledge might expose themselves to troubles more easily.To sum up, my advice is, definitely do visit Poland but try to keep some basic precautions that you would normally do when travelling elsewhere:do not use public transport late at night alone.avoid going to dodgy looking places with run down buildings, parks etc.if you happen to be around unpleasant looking crowd, try to dodge them, i.e. move to another section of a tram/bus and try not to engage in any conversation/ pick up eye contact with them.if you happen to know any locals, spend time with them; they will not only be great guides for you but will also feel safer when hanging out with them.last but not least, do not feel like you have to be on the guard all the time, as you will really be fine most of the time. After all, racist incidents can occur anywhere and one has to be prepared to confront unpleasant situations if needs be. Most important thing is not to expose yourself to the risk unnecessarily by i.e. wandering off to some truly unpleasant neighborhoods where even the locals wouldn’t go.

Why are white people so afraid of being called racist?

Because the people who call white people racist are racist. For the most part. There are always exceptions. Also, white’s will be called racist for any reason. Racism against whites is accepted and encouraged. Nation of Islam for example. I used to date a black guy and his people were assholes towards me because I’m white. In fact, I’m bi-racial I just look more white but that doesn’t even matter to a racist. It’s all about the optics and “historical injustices” that I wasn’t even around for. Fuck those people. It used to bother me but not anymore.I grew up in the South and have an accent. I get accused of racism just for that alone. But, I witnessed more and more aggressive racism outside of the South because in the South if you called a person the n-word that person would kick the shit out of you.I was married to an Arab Muslim. those people are freaken racist. My ex had a black person in his family who was rich but his family members would always point out that he was black. When we went to Portland, Or he was amazed because there were no black people. He was like this is nice much better in North Carolina. There are too many blacks in North Carolina. Portland, OR is a very Liberal city but they ran out the blacks thru gentrification. Yet, they march and scream RACIST!!!!!!Now I live in New Mexico. Racism is alive an well against blacks. Not everyone just like not every arab. The only time I have ever heard a man call someone else the n-word in public was here. Yet, only whites get called out. Called out by racists. It’s terrifying.Ultimately, people will find any reason to hate if they hate themselves. So fuck em. You can’t help people you don’t like themselves. I feel sorry for them and hope they find something better but I won’t tolerate their bullshit any longer.