I Can No Longer Trust Anyone Anymore Is This Wrong

Why do I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore? It seems like everyone in America is trying to screw you over. Is this true? Why would I think this?

Even though I try to remain positive I have troubles trusting anybody including family. As a child I was psychologically and physically abused. The abuse probley added to my problems with relationships especially once my significant other hurt me all trust was gone. After my late husband died from cancer his family tried to take everything I had and what we worked for together. First I dont blame just them I did things wrong myself every action causes a reaction. Because of the vindictiveness in the way my ex inlays handled matters which I won't go into. I seem to he incapable of trusting anybody. It isn't just American's that try to scam people. Out of loneliness I joined various dating sites the only men interested were supposed men from overseas claiming to he soldiers, engineers and in the long run trying to scam me out of money. I've simply come to the conclusion that people aren't worthy of trust and figured out I'm better off alone. I honestly have to say I wouldn't wish this existence on anybody to he totally alone only trusting yourself and your judgment. I have made myself so independent that I dont rely on anybody except when it comes to work there I have no choice. All I can say is dont become like me they say theres good people out there dont become me.

I am always angry and don't trust anyone. What is wrong with me?

I don't know, but I have had more than a few friends who were a lot like this (and didn't trust me either!).  Most of them had a lot of bad history where people in their past had hurt them, where they had grown up around environments where they had had to be very wary of the people around them (often including family, if they had any), and where anger helped them turn their fear and depression into something that kept them going, rather than curling up into a ball and being a target.They say neurosis is a healthy adaptation to your environment, and then the environment changes and you can't give up the adaptation.  Perhaps now, in your life, you have come to a point where being angry and not being able to trust isn't appropriate, but at one point it was, in present fact, the appropriate thing that kept you safe.If this feels true, it might be that you need help just retraining your reflexes.There's a kind of talk therapy called Cognitive Behavioral TherapyCognitive behavioral therapy...that helps people retrain obsoleted habits of thinking.  It's very pragmatic, and doesn't "pathologize" the person, it just sits there and says, "This part of how you are thinking doesn't work for you any more, so how can we find you ways to route around that reflex to something that serves you better?"It's pretty respectful as shrink-type crap goes.  I have very little patience with psych professionals, in general.  I saw two friends who did well with this stuff that I thought couldn't sit down for an hour with the Dalai Lama, you know?So I don't know, if you have access to some way to give it a try, try a couple people who offer it (because, even given the method, some therapists are asshats).  It might help.But one of the best things, I think, is just knowing, it's not fatal, it's not permanent, it's just leftovers, probably, from stuff you've been through.I used to do things where I'd lead people through visualizations where they'd see themselves as trees -- and damage to a tree ring early in life, you know, would warp every tree ring all the way out to the bark.  But we aren't trees, we're self-aware.  We can "self-modify," we have to power to change our own lives and how we think.  We can mend, and sometimes owning our own shit hurts as much as the stuff that hurt us to begin with, it's hard work.  But it makes life better for a lot of us.YMMV...

I don't trust anyone. I can't open up to anyone. How do I deal with this?

Well , if you are asking this question then you already have passed the first hurdle to open up.I am not gonna bore you with some ideal psychology but here are few points I believe:-It is perfectly normal to being an introvert . Not to trust anyone . Not being able to speak up about yourself. It is normal , it is just the way you are.Now if you want to change it , you can start with diary entry , just do it honestly , write everything , good or bad, stupid or cool, whatever it is. Through this you will get one guy to trust and that is you. Nobody is going to judge you with it.You can try to converse with yourself when you are alone , this really helps .Now when you have sorted out what is going on with you , it is time to tell few of those things to the person close to you ,for e.g friend , girl friend , boy friend , brother , sister , mother or in some cases father too :p . It will be risk for first time , but you gotta take this ,otherwise you will never know how to deal with it.People tend to disclose those things to other people which make them look good. Don’t be manipulative with your situation . Tell them the truth and listen to what they say. Sometimes it will be opposite of your thinking ,sometimes it will not.Don’t panic if anybody knows about your problem . Everyone have problem and nobody really bother to care about yours . So keep calm and face it.Trust is something you build with time . It needs proper attention and care .PS:- if this about a girl/boy you want to open up for. Just be yourself and give it time . It will get unfolded . The biggest thrill of relationships lies in its secrecy. :DCheers!!

No matter how hard I try, I can't trust anyone. What should I do?

Someone told me something years ago, "it's not about trusting others, it's about trusting yourself." It sounds like you are doing just what you need to do, right now, to get through something painful and difficult.  There is nothing wrong with not trusting anyone sometimes. You are probably tired and raw and need to recover. Chances are if someone, anyone betrayed or hurt you now, it would be more difficult to deal with, than at any other time.The distrust you are feeling is a healthy one. Right now you can't trust yourself to handle anything, and that's okay. That's a healthy protective thing. You really never can trust anyone really. Even your closest most loyal friend or family member might have a bad day, or a bod car accident, or some life changing event that will make them angry or bitter and lash out.When you are recovered you will be able to trust that you can handle whatever comes your way. You will be able to see through their pain and help them regardless, or you will not take it personally and recognize someone hurting you as their problem, not yours.But for now, you need that from others. Let your therapist and friends and family and people here on Qoura show you that there is compassion and patience and honor for your insecurity.  You have every right to not trust anyone, and in time you will heal and feel that strength and trust in yourself come back.Instead of focusing on others, focus on yourself, on trusting that whatever comes your way, you can handle it. You can never control others, only yourself and your reactions to them. There will always be harmful people and experiences that come into your life, good gracious I can tell you stories...But, you've already done the bravest thing, made the biggest step towards that, you got out and got help. See that you already have handled this, trust that you can make it, and you are already on your way, and you are infinitely stronger already for making  it through something so terrible. Taking away someone's very safety and security is about the worst thing one person can do to another. I am so sorry this happened to you.

I feel like I've been hurt emotionally, and I can't trust anyone anymore. How do I learn to trust again?

Trust is a fragile commodity and if you place it at the wrong place. It might fall and crack. It will hurt and sting like no other. But at the right place, it would bring about peace of mind and solace. To feel that someone will have your back, is an assurance.The right question would be, how will one know if it is the right place ?Experience and the law of averages tells there is a possibility of meeting some. It takes time and it needs patience with the right effort. Instead of shutting out everything, Give everyone a chance, and learn to forgive. And often enough there are clues in the behaviour of people, on how they act.Trust is also something you earn and give. It takes time to grow and. Involve overcoming many events together. It is also at these defining moments, you truly get to see the real person. So It takes time and is an amalgamation of many factors.Grow stronger, and have confidence. Armed with the experiences take a step forward, you will make better decisions. Bad things happen, and so will good. Be grateful to the good and learn from the bad. I think that is how life is. A journey with strange encounters, some happy and some sad.

For some reason I don't trust my friends anymore. Why is that?

This is my question and I wanted to provide some background info… I have had a bad history with people rejecting or abandoning my friendship with them, in high school. Some of my past friends would bail on me to hang out with their other friends or would talk about me behind my back. Now I get a sort of fight or flight reaction when people beside me are laughing, or if a friend says they don't want to hang out. I will either get angry or depressed and no matter how much I try to control these thoughts it keeps happening. Even though in reality I’m overreacting, my mind pours these thoughts of.. They don’t want you around or they’re abandoning you. I don’t really know what to do anymore.