What do you do when you need to talk to someone at night, and there is no one to talk to?
Michelle good question,There is someone out in the world to talk to. It is more about who I rather talk to. I prefer trying to learn the difference in feeling want and realistic need. The question suggests this may be a reoccurring situational feeling. If so it may need self evaluation to identify a source and provide solutions.During the time the feelings of wanting to speak with someone ask the following questions.What is the subject matter?Why does the feeling surface at night or at a similar time each time?When up at night what is the individual doing that causes time difference with social circles.Why is there a feeling it can't wait till someone of choiciinsightilable?People who have reoccurring feelings similarly feel them at night when they are no longer busy from their day to day activities. For many the feeling of loneliness is from avoiding inner thoughts that a conversation may provide distraction. The individual may bring up the subject to who they call but this becomes a habit to depend on someone else to complete a resolution process.Myself I write, draw , research and sign on Quora at times.If severe loneliness occurs there are various chat lines or help line depending on the subject.Hope this offers some insight
Is it okay to confide in your boss about personal problems?
Not really. I mean, the reality of life is that your work will be affected by your personal life sometimes because we can't always "drop" our personal lives at work -- we still think about what is going on, etc. So, it's OK for you to say something like, "I'm sorry if I seem distracted, I'm just having a really hard time at home right now with my (husband, kids, mom, fill in the blank)." It's OK to be general. But, if your boss asks you for more info or you want to give more info, that's where it can start to cross the line. Because if your boss wants to delve more into your personal life, then that can mix work and personal issues, which may be OK for a while, but will lead to strange entanglements and issues later (BELIEVE ME). If you feel compelled to tell your boss more about what is going on, then the issue may be that you desperately need someone to talk to about your problems. Your workplace may have a counseling service (mine offers four free sessions with a therapist) or other service you can use (in that case, you can ask your boss when you're telling him/her that you're having personal issues). Or, you can try to find a free service through your county health department. Or, if you can't find anyone that way, maybe a friend or a pastor or someone else can help you. When you start bringing too much personal stuff to work, it will begin to affect how you do your job, so you have to find a way to deal with it and separate it. Work is different because you have to be professional. There are different expectations and to cross that line could result in a loss of your job, your boss intruding on your life, you saying something to your boss that changes his/her outlook on you and affects your job now or later, or a ton of other problems.
How do you deal with a needy friend who tells you all of their personal/marital abuse problems?
You can be empathetic and listen and try your best to understand, asking a lot of questions but doing your best not to get overly involved.Or if you really just want them to stop, respond to every complaint with “"have you left yet?” You’ ll possibly end up with a best friend, eternally grateful for your persistent advice. But it’s equally (or more) likely that you’ll just perturb them enough to stop talking to you altogether.
I'm having extreme personal depression/loneliness/identity crisis issues (life story btw). Can I fix it and ho?
Hey there, You sound as if you could use a professional to talk to. I know you said that you can't afford a therapist, and I do not know where you live, however, there are places that offer services to people in need. Talk to your family, or go to a teacher or to a guidence councelor. You should not have to be so worried at 16, and not be able to get help. I kind of question the connection to "Dexter", and hope you really do not look to him as a realistic role model. I am trying to recall why "Dexter" does what he does. Isn't he a sort of vigilante, killing evil people? (that is at least one good trait, lol) I am certainly not making light of any of your concerns, just trying for a little levity. Sorry, I hope I am not making things worse. Well...anyway, your guy friend obviously saw that you do have sensitive qualities in you, and that is a great characteristic to have. You also speak about how you only care that your family is happy and that speaks volumes of what a good, caring young guy you are. You are not selfish, not caring that you sleep on the couch, I think that shows just how unselfish you are. I personally see many fine qualities in you, more than a lot of young people these days. I think you are not "broken" as you say, but just a little low on self esteem. You are a good student, you do not follow others bad habits, smoking, drinking, and not being a follower is actually an incredible acomplisment, especially with the imense pressure from ones peers. I personally find you to be a person that will be loved, and you really sound more together than you are willing to give yourself credit for. I know it is hard, just being 16 is hard. Please try and reach out to someone who can help you to unravel some of the snags you have run into. You are not alone, even if it feels like that right now. I think you have a great perspective on who you want to be, and I think you have the ability and desire to get there.
Why do I feel lonely without friends?
This can be well answered through this article my sister sent me on whatsapp.:I never sat on a sofa with my father & after my marriage; I had already left him. Many years ago, after I got married I was sitting on a couch in winter, very cold day, sipping coffee during a visit to my father. As I talked about adult life, marriage, responsibilities, and obligations, my father thoughtfully stirred the coffee giving a sober look at me."Never forget your friends," he advised." they will become more important as you get older." Regardless of how much you love your family and the children you happen to have, you will always need friends. Remember to go out with them occasionally, do activities with them, call them, and keep in touch. What a strange advice - I thought! I just entered the married world & I was adult, surely my husband and the family that we have started will be everything. Yet I obeyed him; kept in touch with my friends & annually increased the number of friends. Over the years, I became aware that my father knew what he was talking about. & after 40+ years of life, here is what I learned : :)Time passes. Life goes on & the distances increase. Children grow up & they become independent. Although it breaks the parents' heart but they are often separated from them. Even Jobs come and go. Illusions, desires, & attractions are weakened. People do what they should not do. Parents leave. Colleagues forget the favors. The races are over. But, true friends are always there, no matter how long or how many miles they are. When we started this adventure called 'Life', we did not know of the incredible joys or sorrows that were ahead. We did not know how much we would need from one another. So love your parents, take care of your children, but KEEP A GROUP OF GOOD FRIENDS..!!-Neelam Thakwani
Why does my ex still talk to me if he says he has moved on?
You guys are both fooling yourselves completely when you think you’re able to remain platonic friends. You’re not at all acting like friends.He obviously broke up with you because he wants to date other people. He obviously isn’t at the point where he can be considered a platonic friend due to the childish way he acts when you bring up other guys. Personally I wouldn’t respect anybody who broke up with me to date other people therefore friendship would be out of the question. You obviously still want to be with him but can’t see he’s not interested in being with you. That’s why he broke up in the first place.Unfortunately neither of you are really treating this relationship like what it’s supposed to be. The reason he’s talking to you is probably because humans like to socialize with other humans and he probably doesn’t have anybody else he wants to talk to about what you two talk about with each other. He also probably realizes that you still like him so he knows you’ll answer the phone.If you’re using this quasi relationship as hopes for getting back with him, I’d advise you let that plan go as you can see for yourself you’re nowhere close to getting any where near there.
Don't extroverts have best friends?
I'm normally a casual lurker here on Quora, but this question piqued my interest since I have personal experience with this.I am a huge extrovert, talking to and meeting new people gives me a sort of high that’s almost euphoric. And, for the longest time, that's all I needed. Meet new people and expand my social circle, rinse and repeat everyday until I could become one of those “cool, popular kids.” Each and every new “friend” raised my self-esteem…and my ego. It was like getting a concentrated shot of dopamine every. single. day.But, something was wrong.Something felt off.Something was…missingBut what was it? With a rapidly expanding social circle and good grades, what could possibly be missing? My life seemed perfect, what could I possibly want more?A Best Friend.I didn't have a best friend, a person I could confide in, a person I could trust, a person who I could say — without a moment of insecure hesitation — wants to laugh and talk with me for hours on end just as much as I want to talk and laugh with them . All of those “friends” I made could never provide that for me, and I could never give that to them either.While extroverts like me can have a blast socializing with acquaintances and strangers, I would much rather share an inside joke with that single best friend.So maybe that popular and extroverted classmate, coworker, or acquaintance who always seems like the life of the party isn’t as happy as they seem. Maybe they bask in the light of socializing so that they can escape from that lonely darkness they so desperately try to ignore.Maybe they don’t have a best friend.I know that's how I felt.For the first time, I finally have that best friend that I've always, secretly, yearned for. I would trade all of my social ability and other "friends” for her. Partially because she'd do the same for me, but mostly because I haven't experienced emotional happiness this deep and fulfilling in….well, ever.Having a best friend fucking rocks.So, to answer your question: Yes, it is entirely possible for extroverts to form deep and meaningful bonds with others.