Is there any truth behind the myth "if a friendship lasts longer than 7 years, psychologists say it will last a lifetime"? If so, what makes the friendship tick?
Have a look at the Dutch researchers results... http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/t... It’s always exhilarating to make a close friend — a soul mate — someone you understand and who makes you feel understood. When this happens, it feels like the bond will last a lifetime. Yet most friendships, even the best of them, don’t last forever. Recent research by Dutch sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst at Utrecht University confirms that the large majority of friendships tend to be fleeting. He found that both the friends we make and the ones we keep are more likely to be determined by opportunity rather than personal preferences. Many relationships fall apart because people no longer have the opportunity to be together in the same context, e.g. a school, an office or a neighborhood. The sociologist surveyed 1007 men and women between the ages of 18 and 65 years and was able to re-interview 604 of them seven years later. Over that time, the size of an individual’s social network remained strikingly stable (in terms of numbers) but there was a lot of turnover: New friends replaced old ones and only thirty percent of the original friendships remained. The influence of social context (where they met) on longevity was remarkably similar for friends and acquaintances — irrespective of the closeness of the relationship.One implication: If a friendship is meaningful, it needs to be nurtured. Do most of your relationships have a shelf life?Source: Press Release, Netherlands Organization for Scientific Research, May 27, 2009
How long should a friends with benefits last? ?
Just woundering, me nd my **** buddy have been friends with benefits for 7 months now, I feel like I'm into deep. Or is this normal for a friends with benefits couple to last a long time with?
What should I do if I have no real friends? I have some friends, but they are circumstantial friends or acquaintances and they don't really care about me. I feel very lonely and depressed even though I'm surrounded by people.
Let me try to answer this for you from my point of view. To me, friends are baggage. And like every baggage they come with their own particular weight, only it changes by itself depending on their mood and environment.What do you really need a friend for?Tossing a few shots together every once in a while and listening to them bitching and moaning about how miserable their lives are? Yup, that's what you get when you need a friend to "share." You unload your baggage, get ready to take on some extra from them as well. Honestly, not my cup of tea. Sadly those are considered true friends of BFFs. Sit on the sidewalk and start crying, any decent guy would ask you what's wrong and maybe even listen a little. So, anyone can share your frustrations, even a total stranger. You don't need someone in particular to do that. So, let's cross off the sharing part then.Do you need a friend to go to the ball games, movies, theaters, concerts? Well, movies and theaters are no places to chitchat, at a ball game anyone can be your friend for that period of time, and concerts, well, sing dude, sing along.You need a friend to call late at night when you're miserable and feeling that melancholy slowly crawling upon you? Have a hobby, for Pete's sake. Start getting not good, very good at it. Or just put some music that makes you wanna jump up and down, or just for calming your nerves. You know, we humans are so lucky, cause we have something miraculous called music. What's left? Ooh, those dreadful holidays and weekends. Well, you said you have some circumstantial friends or acquaintances, so I'm sure they will have some plans which would fit you. Choose one of them, tag along, and go home exhausted to the blissful peace of your own space, away from any human interaction, which I'm sure you'll hate after that long day with so much of it.Human beings are in constant change. You are always changing, they are always changing and let's be honest, it's too much to ask for in these times for any kind of relationship to last that long and stay solid. Embrace the everyday change and accept that others go through that as well. That way, you won't feel the need to get too attached to other mortals and also, won't get frustrated when they, so rightfully, walk away. Space, my friend, space. Everyone needs it. Have it, and let others have it as well.
Why is it hard to find true friends?
~~~It sounds like your talking about people you work with,,,,everything starts out great,,,"lets be friends", because its new and refreshing,,,,but think about it,,,if you work in a specific department,,,sooner or later no matter how "good" of friends you all are,,,,there starts to be competition,,who is the better worker,,;who does the boss favor most,,,who will backstab the next person to get that promotion,,,soon resentment sets in,,,and the "great" friendship starts to dwindle away because of the "competition" so to speek, its normal human nature,,,the competive part of us. You get along great with co-workers from the other departments because you are not a threat to them,,,,,so they feel comfortable to be friends with you,,,,and Im sure in their department they have the same thing going on,,,,start out as friends,,,,,then the friendships slip away for the same reasons in your department. What I would do is still stay on friendly terms,,,be respectfull with your co-workers in your department,,,but hang out and enjoy the company of the co-workers in the other department,,,It will make your work day alot more enjoyable,,,,,,,
What attracted you to your long term friends?
We are both opposites. She has the ability to take a simple statement and make the most interesting story. She as great sense of humor and keeps me laughing all the time. 20 yrs ago she came in our office to be my secretary. She was very shy, single and had no friends due to her lack of self-esteem. Once we became friends, I found out she so much love and caring to give and was very smart and hard worker. After about a year we were closer than sisters. During all this time we have both been through a life time of trials and troubles. I taught her everything I knew and fought for her to get my job when I had to leave on disability. I have seen her marry and become like a butterfly. She is a loyal and sincere friend which is the kind of relationship one very rarely finds in a live time. I am cherish her friendship and feel blessed that God put her in my life. We are closer than most family members are.
What do you do when your losing your best and only friend?
well how do i start? this girl and i have known eachother for years umm we were good friends in grade school. in junoir high we became even better friends. no wits our last year at our junoir high and we are sleeping away becaese she wanted to do crew.(i thought it was great. but i didnt even think that she would not have time to chill with me anymore.) but now is kinda the summer and i want to chill with her, i love her (nohomo) but in a sisterly way. she was always here when i needed her,whenever i needed her. we told eachother our secerts. when i say best friends i mean where i was you would see her and viversa. i dont know what to do. she has lots of friend s but i dont. yeah i have friends but no friends i can call up and cry my eyes out with. i need HELP! and when i call her cell phone she never picks up or she wll pick up and say that she cant talk but that shell call me back later and never does. SO i dont know what to do can anyone help me out? need more info email me thanks