I'm 24, a jobless mechanical engineering graduate. Am I a failure? Can I excel in life? Excel, for me, means building a house for my parents, living life like any other successful person, with a few more comforts than I have currently.
Here, I would like to share my experience.I am B.tech in Mechcanical engineering appeared in year 2017, in year back (2017), when I graduated, there was a bad financial condition at my home, my family was suffering with financial issues, and that was my final year of B tech, after that I was about to get a job was must for me, to not to support my financial conditions, as well as also to support my family by not asking money to them.In July, 2017 i get job in one Small scale industry was producer of Die plates by using VMC machines in Ludhiana, PB. I worked as operator, and did 12 hours x 6 days duty for rs. 6000/- p.m only.I was exausted, and left my job and returned back to home, now I was worried about my futire, and worryness about to supporty family. Now, I used to search jobs on internet, and started working online, started learning new stuffs on internet, and created a website to post new articles for engineers. But still I was jobless, I came to home from Ludhiana in September, 2017 and I was jobless till May,2018.After suffering and hearing many taunts from many sides, I started seeking source of earning, and I choosed to teach in Diploma engineering college as Lecturer, to continue my revision of engineering background, and I was started my job in May, 2018 for rs. 12000/- P.M.During working there, in August, 2018 I got interview call from India's leading mobile manufacturing Company OPPO Mobiles, for the position of assistant Production Engineer and I got that Job, with gud starting salary, which cannot be disclosed here.During this all, One thing was sparking inside me was Hope. Which keep me motivated.So, Don’t loose hope, You are an engineer, specially a mechanical engineer. A Mechanical engineer is a person who can be a Banker, Joins TCS, Can do any job, with perfection.All the best.
What is that one piece of advice that you would surely give your child?
The one piece of advice I continually tell my children is: Always perservere and do not fear failure!Success in this world is not completely dependent upon your talent, your IQ, your family circumstances, or your wealth. All of those factors contribute toward achievement and success, sure they do. But perseverance can open doors when all else fails, and failure comes with trying new things.In Malcolm Gladwell's book, "Outliers" he talks about the '10,000 hour rule' for mastery of any skill. The idea is that any elite skill set is built after working on that skill for 10,000 hours of focused application. Whether you are an athlete, artist, cook, astronaut, teacher, or business entrepreneur, you need to apply yourself again and again with perserverance in order to be successful.So others may have more intelligent, more raw talent, more wealth, etc. But application of perserverance and a willingness to try and fail, maybe many times, can be pivotal.Take for example the true success story of American inventor Thomas Edison. He tried over and over again, as critics and skeptics scoffed and ridiculed, to create the modern lightbulb. Here is a terrific short version of that story :"When Thomas Edison was interviewed by a young reporter who boldly asked Mr. Edison if he felt like a failure and if he thought he should just give up by now. Perplexed, Edison replied, "Young man, why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp." And shortly after that, and over 10,000 attempts, Edison invented the light bulb."
How can I give advice to my 19 year old daughter and her new family without sounding like I am judging their parenting skills?
My prayer is that my advice here will save you some mistakes and hurts I have made. No matter how you advise her you will be viewed as judgmental and critical of her parenting skills. When we fail at times as all parents do we are already our own worst critic and anyone who seeks to advise us will be viewed as judging us because we are already judging ourselves.My best advice is don’t give advice unless asked for it and even then tread very carefully, as often even when asked they are not prepared to hear the answer.My best advice now that I have made this mistake is to simply love them, pray for them, and when they ask your advice, tell them that you know because you have faith in them as parents that God will direct them to the best answer and you will be praying for them.I didn’t raise mine perfectly and neither did you, as we are all human and make mistakes and your children will not raise theirs perfectly. But I caution you that if you know they are well loved and not being abused in any way to simply be grandmother and love them and support their parents by encouraging them along the way. They will learn best by making some mistakes and if they are truly loving their children that is what will matter most to them, not the mistakes their parents make now and then.The things that will matter most to your grandchildren is the love and efforts made by their parents to do their best with the knowledge they have and when they grow up knowing and loving their grandmother for always supporting and loving them without judgement or criticism. Your daughter is an adult allow her to make some mistakes as that is often the best teacher and not worth risking your relationship just to be right or point out her flaws as a parent, that will only risk her resenting you. We teach our adult children better by loving them more than by advising them.I share this for what it is worth and the lessons I have learned by making the mistake of giving unwanted advice, when life experience is often the best teacher and keeps our relationships intact.My thoughts and prayers are with you, pray for them, and if your grandchildren are not being seriously neglected or abused my best advice is just love them and keep your advice to yourself.
What is the best advice parents can give their children leading into adulthood?
When my son graduated high school last year I wrote him the letter I never got with all the advice I never got. here are a few1- Don't do drugs. Biggest waste of time, illegal and dangerous2-Call me before you make any big decisions, when anything is wrong, when you need some guidance, and just to keep sharing our lives, though we may be apart. I have known you longer than anyone else on the planet, before you were even born and have more than your best interest at heart. 3-If you would cringe if your younger brother wanted to do something don't do it. He follows in your footsteps take that seriously.4- (my son is a sailor) In open water, rough seas, and bad weather, Wear your life vest; If you wouldn't kill someone else's son with reckless action then don't kill mine!5-Keep your goals in front of you and your past behind you. 6-The right partner(s) can make your life a success or a failure more than you'd think.7-Keep asking questions, keep your opinions mutable; you don't know what you don't know. And what you think is right is not necessarily right for everyone.8-Every action has a consequence, even inaction.9-Try to find the lesson in your mistakes.10-Get enough sleep and eat healthily.
My first night home with baby...please advice!?
sorry to hear you delima but it made me think of the first time i took my baby girl home three years ago, i gave birth at 2:40 in the morning and by the afternoon i was ready to go home the doctors said i could so why not? well i tell you the minute we walked through the door she started crying it was so funny she was just hungry but of course no it all daddy started freaking out i was laughing so hard as he was running around the house like a headless chook, ranting and raving curseing me cause i left the hospital so early i just took a step back made a bottle and said shut the hell up you making me feel really horrible as this experince iosnt scary enough, but the word of widom i give you dont panic take a step back an assess the situation and say all mothers go through the same thing trust me they do................. havef fun will your new budle of baby joy
My 17 year old daughter is pregnant with e the baby of a 28 year old man. I don't know what to do.?
Honestly, I would not press charges for several reasons. First of all, your daughter needs you to be a part of her life and her grandchild's life but she probably won't feel like she can trust you if you press charges against the guy she "loves". Secondly, you want this guy to be there for your grandchild, right? Well, he can't really do that if he's in jail and probably won't *want* to do that after getting out of jail knowing that he'd probably have to see you (the person who put him there). Also, your daughter made a decision to sleep with this guy. I personally believe that the age of consent should be 16 because honestly, any 16 year old that is not medically handicapped in some way knows *exactly* what they're doing when they have sex. They might not like the consequences of it, or might get their hearts broken, but they understand what it is and are no more a victim when having sex with an older person than an 18 year old is. And, lastly, pressing charges against this guy will create a lot more drama and tension in your family. This will make things tough on everyone-but will especially effect your grandchild who had nothing to do with the situation. Tension between their grandparents and their dad will really put them in between a rock and a hard place, and that's not something that any kid needs. I know it's rough to see your daughter make decisions that you don't like or don't understand knowing that they will make her life harder. I'm a parent too-and while my kids certainly aren't teens yet, I can still (barely) begin to imagine how hard that is. However, as a person who had sex at 17 with a man who was 20 (still technically illegal)...who ended up being the love of my life and is now my husband...I can tell you I've been in your daughter's shoes and that she'll survive. She just needs some support.
Single moms only....I love her, but her son is a spoiled brat..any advice??
I have fell deeply in love with a woman who has only 1 son and can never have any more due to full hysterectomy and this child was pretty much a miracle baby. He is almost 7 and I like him but he has been so spoiled that he yells at his mother, hits on her, and demands his way and until he gets it.She always has to fix two seperate meals because he refuses to eat anything she fixes for the rest of us even if he likes it, just so he can be different. His father talks to him daily but rarely keeps him more than 2 whole nights(not weekends) per month. He is wealthy so the boy always gets his way at either home he is at. I have 2 girls of my own ages 10 & 11, and I love mine dearly, but I do not let them run all over me and this is something I feel weird about when he acts this way towards her. I am scared to talk with her about his behaviour, as I feel this may put a 'strain' on our relationship. I very much want to marry this woman, but I dont know if I can deal with the son. Help please
How can a parent make a toddler listen without beating? My sister woke up at 1 a.m. She wanted to walk on the bed and play around in dark, then she kicked my mom in the eye. Infuriated, my mom smacked my sister on the thigh.
Although your question is written as "make a child listen" -- it sounds like you might want to know how to "make a child obey". You already know that beating a child is not the answer.Raising a child is hard, important work. It can be frustrating when a child doesn't pay attention to what you tell them. And it is important for children to get used to listening to the authority figures in their lives.First of all, change your house to keep them out of places you don't want them to go. We put all my daughters toys in front of the TV and video equipment so she'd be distracted before getting into trouble. A toddler is often more attuned to the visual signals in their environment. They are much lower to the ground than you. You need to get into their space and make sure they see you if you have something important to tell them. When you do speak, keep it positive (not in the sense of complimenting them). Say what you WANT them to do. Tell them "Come here" in an excited voice show them how glad you are when they come. Practice this a lot so they get used to it. It can save their lives if they are approaching something dangerous. Even then you may need to physically stop them in an emergency. Toddlers are not ready to be responsible for their own safety. Toddlers can only process a couple words at a time, especially in times of stress. Simply saying "NO" is not clear enough. They might not understand what it is your telling them NOT to do. If you say "No jumping" they may only process the part of your message at the end and think you said "jumping". Then they get in trouble and still they're not sure why. Instead tell them "Let's walk" or "Sit down." If they're too loud say "Let's whisper" or put a quiet finger to your lips to demonstrate.Toddlers love to touch things. Teach them what "gentle hands" are and stop them (grab their hands) if they don't use gentle hands. If you don't want them playing in the dirt, give them something else to touch. Finally, don't think of reward and punishment. Think about teaching them life lessons. If they can't do something, tell them "why" in simple words like -- "That's dangerous" or "You'll get burned". You want them to be able to keep themselves safe in the long run, even when you're not there to tell them what to do.
Is it okay for parents to force their kids to follow their career footsteps?
No. A child is going to become an individual and it's unfair to the grown individual that he/she was forced into a lifelong career because the parents thought they should. What if the person had no business sense? What if the business was dying? My siblings and I followed our own paths. My father wanted one of us to take on his failing business and we realized that there was no way we were going to compete with the big companies taking over the industry he was in. So, we all went our own way - in various science fields because that's where our interests lay. Would I allow my kids to follow my career steps? While I would wish they would not (I took a while to get where I am), I would not force them to avoid it. It was a learning experience and I had fun while learning (I have two masters degrees and several years of research experience). Why deny them that?