My friend is depressed and is pushing me away?
So my best friend has been diagnosed with depression and she is still pretty down. I know how she feels due to personal experience, but she is pushing me away and it really hurts me. I told her teacher originally about her feeling down and i have done everything i can. But i feel like its not enough, it feels like she hates me and doeant appreciate me for what I've done for her. This is not me being selfish it just really upsets me and ive been really upset and depressed about it myself. Someone please help me <3
How did you face your best friend after attempting suicide?
My high school sweetheart was my best friend. My girlfriend. My soul mate.I attempted suicide last year but I couldn't go through with it. I always told her everything and this was no exception. I had moved to a different country for higher education so the only way was to call her up. I did. And I told her about what I'd done. She hung up on me.She ignored my calls and messages for a while. When she finally answered my call she said she needed time alone. She was angry that I didn't consider the people in my life important enough to live for. She was angry that she couldn't help. And believe me she had tried a whole lot. She was always there for me. Always. But now she treated me like a stranger.This was around the time she had come to visit her brother who also lived in the same country that I study in. She was going to visit and spend a few days with me. But in the end she decided not to come (due to various reasons which I won't discuss here). I guess this pushed me over the edge, I can't be sure now. (I'm not blaming anyone for what I did. The decision to commit suicide was my own.) She went back and continued to ignore me.I had to patch things up with her. She was my best friend for God's sake. I can't let her go. No matter what. After all the things we had been through and all the promises we had made to each other. And of course she is the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen. So I went back on a leave of absence from school. I convinced her to give me a second chance. But I guess somehow things were irreparable. Broken. And not long after, she left me.
I have a best friend that has depression. She had completely pushed me away and for a while was lashing out. Is this normal behavior? And why do people with depression push others way?
This is pretty standard for a person with depression. Try to imagine it this way. You feel horrible. There's a weight the size of a black hole pressing on your shoulders and another one residing in your gut. The air is thick and gooey, and your thoughts are slow and they keep circling back on the same obsessive ideas.This feeling has to make sense, but it doesn't. It only makes sense if you are worthless. You don't deserve any friends. No one should love you. That would make sense of this feeling. But people are trying to be nice, and this does not correlate with your feeling about yourself. The answer? Push them away. Make them go. Make the external world fit with your internal sense of self.Why not accept the love that is offered? Why not push away the darkness and depression? Because the darkness and depression are lodged permanently inside of you. There is no moving them away. They are going to kill you sooner or later so why delay the inevitable? Why not do it now? Except first you have to get rid of everyone who cares about you. Only then can you allow yourself the peace of death.Still, deep beneath the depression, there is still a tiny spark of a human who values his or herself. Sometimes that humunculus manages to push out and raise its voice a bit. At moments like these, the depressed person can remember what it is like to not hate yourself, and it can be possible to accept love for a few moments. When friends, family and lovers support a depressed person, it does make a difference, even if the depressed person fights it. It's almost like a test to see whether you really care enough to care for us, despite our horribleness. We are convinced that no one really loves us, and push them a little, and they will disappear. In most cases, that is true. It doesn't take much to make people go away. But if there is even one person who doesn't go away despite all the pushing, that creates doubt in the depressed person's mind. Can they really be as horrible as they feel? Or is it possible that there is something more to them; something beyond the depression?
My friend tried to commit suicide and she's acting like everything is okay?
Don't pretend it didn't happen. And your friend is like an ostrich hiding her head in the sand. She doesn't want to recognize it by talking about it--perhaps because she's ashamed of herself for trying, or she's now in a better mood, or whatever the problem was was resolved (she may never have told you about the problem). Were you there with her when she tried? If so, immediately call 911--she's killing herself. Now knowing she tried once, even if she threatens to do it, call 911 for sure. It sounds like she was deeply depressed over something she couldn't handle, but would not go to anyone for help. Yet maybe her attempt was a cry for attention/help. It's strange she now ignores it and all seems well. She should see a counselor, physician, or psychiatrist. Sometimes, most often its during a deep level of depression/hopelessness that a person entertains suicidal thoughts. Do you know if some life event made her sad recently? But the normalcy she shows now would suggest bipolar disease--where an individual experiences a swing in mood over a period of time (length is variable), from depressed, then super high,then depressed, etc. It's a cycle she needs to have dealt with soon. It used to be called manic-depression. Everything is not fine. You are a great friend to be so concerned. Someone, for her sake, needs to tell her parent(s)soon, so recovery can start. Maybe talk to yours and ask them to accompany you to visit her parents. Suicide never solves problems--it makes life worse for the survivors.
A depressed friend is isolating herself from everyone. Should I try to keep her occupied or not?
definitely keep trying! I'm not sure if it's so important to keep your friend occupied, I'm just VERY sure that it's important to not let her isolate herself. you don't have to make her take part in whatever kind of activity, just be with her, maybe stay in the room next door and watch a movie or listen to some music (concert dvds really helped me rediscover the fact that I have not completely lost any ability to FEEL something at all) and let that be an invitation for her to join you... or not. giving her space without letting her be alone, that would be the key for me (or what I wish someone would do when I'm in my dark place). Involving her in "bigger" activities is then the next step, but at the moment that might very well be too much for her.I think this comic strip is a perfect example of how to take care of someone who is depressed: oh, and once she starts feeling better (or feeling anything at all) she will be grateful for having a friend like you! thank you for caring so much about her and really trying to find a good way to help.
I have a friend who's suffering from depression. What should I do? He keeps pushing me away but I don't want to leave him. I feel so worried all the time.
I think I am able to answer this, because I am that one friend with depression that keeps pushing away my best friend.One thing I want to tell you is that we depressed people, we often feel like we are burden to others. We push people every goddamn time, it’s not because we don’t want you as our friends, but we care so much about you— we don’t want you to get hurt by our depression.I have a friend just like you, always worried about me. Last week, I shut down, I pushed him away. I never talk to him for the whole week. My best friend never left me.He is the type of friend that when I closed my door to everybody, he would be the one patiently waiting outside my door.He is the type of friend that when I tell him “I am not in the mood to talk,” he would give me the space I need without questions.He is the type of friend that even he already heard the story of what’s hurting me, he willingly sit with me and ready to listen.All I am saying is never leave your friend, no matter how much they push you away. Just be there, reassure them that when they need you you are just one phone call away.Having a friend who suffers depression is exhausting; we know that. But please be patient with us because even we are depressed we appreciate people who stays by our side when the world walks out on us.
My friend wants to commit suicide and i told her parents but she got angry at me. Am I wrong for this?
For the past few days, my friend was extremely depressed and we was saying how she wanted to end it all. She's been depressed before but I've helped her cope with all of her problems but this time when I try helping her, she wouldn't accept it. Instead, she just pushes me away because she doesn't want me to be hurt as bad when she actually kills herself. (Not that it'd make a difference) I try asking her if we could talk privately but she makes up any excuse she can think of not to talk to me and just wants me to leave her alone so i figure that she really doesn't want me there for her anymore. We've known each other for a long time and we've had so many good times together but it doesn't seem to matter anymore to her. I decide to get her parents involved by calling and telling them that she's depressed and suicidal. Literally moments after this, my friend calls me saying how she just cant cut me out of her life so she offers to talk to me later. I then told her that i told her parents about it, and she became furious at me saying how I betrayed her. She told me how she thought she could trust me but now there's no one she can trust because I told her parents. I honestly thought she'd cut me out of her life for good but she ends up talking to me and hinting that things would get better again, but now things are even worse for her since she didn't want her parents to know and they're being overprotective of her. She said I've should have known that she wouldn't kill herself. I'm just really confused right now.. Am I wrong for doing this?
Has anybody gone through a depression and pushed people away from your life?
the thing with depression is that you tend to lose interest in things you used to be interested in, things you used to love doing, people you used to love being with. and it's not in the normal way... like you're getting older and getting interested in different stuff... you don't replace it by anything. you're just not interested in anything anymore. life feels pointless. you kind of just want to sleep all the time. sometimes you don't have the energy, mentally or physically, to even get up.... you just want everything to end. so it's very possible that your friend broke off the relationship because of that, especially if you notice that he broke off relationships with all kinds of people he used to be close with, and he no longer does stuff he used to love doing.... still, depression is something that ought to be diagnosed. it's possible that he just doesn't find stuff in common with you, or whatever. so i wouldn't jump to conclusions, but if he's depressed like you say he is, and he started acting strange toward everyone, i'd say that may be it. if he is depressed, i'd definitely try to keep in contact with him. it's natural to push people away, I know I did... But I also think I wanted someone who could break past my barriers and 'fix me'. I think i end up owing my life to my one friend, who would not let me walk away from her. she doesn't even know how much she helped me -- one day i was seriously considering suicide, she calls me, and we end up talking on the phone for two hours about random stuff. by the time i hung up, i felt a little better. if you're worried he may be suicidal, i'd definitely talk to a school counselor or teacher or someone, if you still go to school. or even call that National Suicide Hotline to ask them about what you should do, at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433). Or in the case of emergencies, where you think he may have attempted, or is about to attempt, definitely call 911. last but not least, try googling 'what is depression?'. i got a bunch of good results. some are medical diaries doctors wrote, so it's a little dense with information you probably don't need, but it sometimes gives the 'symptoms' and talks about the different kinds of depression out there/why they're caused. it's a good thing that you're concerned. people should never take good friends for granted. :)