Does falling in love with your best friend ruin your friendship in the long run? Or does it make a perfect relationship?
Why are there always people who fall in love with their best friends, or people who want to keep friends with their ex-lovers? Are they so desperate for lovers or friends? Personally I would freak out if my male best friend expressed his affection to me. My reaction would be like: "What! All this time I have treated you like a friend and now you want to f**k me?" But wait a minute. Do I even have a male best friend? No, I don't think so. I don't hang out with my male friends alone or too often, simply to avoid the embarrassment of unreciprocated feelings. Jokes aside, let's see why it is generally not a good idea to fall in love with your best friend. 1, The status of a friendship (genuine; if the two people are just pretending to be friends because they are too shy to admit that they are interested in each other, that's another story) indicates that at least one of the two found the other one not sexually attractive at first. Hmmm, doesn't portent well, right?2, Sometimes you think you are in love with your best friend, but in fact you are just used to his/her presence and don't want to lose him/her to a real girl/boy friend. Confusing that with love, you easily fall into the trap of infatuation and obsession.3, You believe when two best friends fall in love with each other they are naturally compatible. This is not the case. First, friends are not necessarily compatible at the first place; second, we usually show much higher tolerance to our friends than our lovers because we don't have to hang out with our friends so often, develop such strong emotional attachment or make such serious commitment to them; third, to quote Tom Thomas, "being someone's lover is entirely different than being someone's friend or best friend. " Someone can be a totally charming and fun friend but a possessive or even disrespectful lover. Don't assume your best friend will automatically beome your best lover. You two still need go through the entire process of a working relationship, because it is a brand new one.4, If the love is not reciprocated and the rejected party can't handle it gracefully, chances are the friendship is lost to embarrassment. Well, I believe the best way to love someone is, as suggested by Dr. Vaillancourt, treat your loved one as your best friend instead of making your best friend you lover. And if you can't help it, remember it is not a short cut for a happy and compatible relationship.
My best friend is dying of cancer and wants to lose his virginity to me. What should I do?
My best friend has known me since he was 13; we are both 18 now. He has had feelings for me since he met me, but I never had feelings for him back. Still, we are best friends, and I care about him so much. A month ago, he was diagnosed with cancer of the bones, and he doesn't have much longer to live - it got very serious, very fast. I'm devastated; he's devastated - everything is a complete mess, and each day we fall apart a little bit more. Today, I was talking to him about the things he still wanted to do in life, and he kissed me (for the first time ever), and told me he loved me and had a strange question to ask me. He wanted to know if he could have sex with me before he dies. He said something along the lines of this: "I don't want to die a virgin. Maybe that's a dumb thing to be worrying about, maybe it's not; I don't know. I love you. I love you as a best friend and I love you as more than a best friend. I'm in love with you; I have been for a while, and I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone but you. I'm sorry if this is awkward or weird. I can't help but have this haunt the back of my mind." And then he started crying. I told him not to feel weird and that I'd think about it. I'm a virgin too. I do not have romantic feelings towards him. I would be losing my virginity to somebody who is going to die before the next year rolls around. Even just typing this is making me cry. It's such a strange situation. I really do care about him so much; I love him. I hate to see him suffering, and I can understand why he wouldn't want to die a virgin, but it's a very strange position for me to be in. I honestly have no idea what to do.
I'm confused. . . Did he raped me?
He is 25 and I'm 20. We have been seeing each other for about week now and spending a lot of time together. We have sleep overs and watch movies. He made me dinner and seem to really care about my feelings. I got fired yesterday and he offered to pick me up and spend the whole day comforting me. We only gone as far as kissing and cuddling. Sometimes we wrestle and he shows me a few judo moves. He has put me in a few locks before. . . Today, we were watching the world cup together and he grabbed me. . . I thought he wanted to fight a little. He stuck his fingers inside of me without my permission and it hurt. I asked him to stop more than one time and I even tried to pull his fingers out. I had to fight my way out. He tore my walls and I'm sore right now. He noticed I was really upset and asked what is wrong. . . I told him how I felt and he apologized. But I don't think he understood how violated I felt. He said he didn't have to ask to kiss me. . . Maybe I overreacted. . . .What do you think?
What should I do if I still have feelings for my ex and want them back?
Been there. Done that.Listen, it is really okay to feel this way. And also remember, if you love something, let it go. It will come back. Trust me, this may sound cliche af but this is really true.I was dating my a guy for 5 years in a long distance too. I made huge blunders in my relationship and in the end, we broke up. I cried for more than an year. Went under depression, went mad literally. I tried all hooks and crooks to get him back. And in the end, after more than an year of multiple trials when he simply refused to come back, I gave up.After almost 1.5 years, I gave him a call on his birthday (I spoke to him after almost 3 months) and I simply wished him. (Also, his number had changed so I called on his best friend’s number and requested him to make me talk to him. His friend told me he is not with him at that moment and would make me talk as soon as he is with him. After almost an hour or something, I got a call from an unknown number. I don’t know why but the moment I saw it, I just felt that it was him. I received and it was him. )And we ended up talking for hours, once again. Just like old days. I asked him out this time. I told him, “Jab pehli baar humne baat ki thi toh tune mujhe propose kia tha. Aaj it’s my turn. Girls don’t usually propose but I can do anything for you. Would you be my boyfriend?”He replied, “No.”I was in shock. I asked, “But why?”To which he replied, “I don’t want to be your boyfriend. I want to be your husband.” (Too cliche, I know. But, it worked.)Haha! So, just give it some time. It it has happened once, it will happen twice. Trust me.PS: We both still aren’t dating. After getting back together, we broke up again after 3 months. Post which I realised that some things are just NOT MEANT TO BE. :)All the best.
My husband cheated on me with his ex .What should I do?Help?
I say leave him. He didnt think about you when he was inserting his penis into her vagina... why should you give him a chance. He doesnt deserve it! he's only sorry because he got caught and what respect does he have for you that he even had sex in your own apartment in your guys own bed. Guys cheat simply because they *****! You can do better. I say leave him and dont put up with this **** before you get knocked up and is stuck with him forever like the ex is with his baby! I personally would never date or marry a guy who has a kid with another women. It just makes shiiiit more complicated.
I've been swinging on both sides for months. How can I tell my wife?
We're LDS and eleven months ago we got married in the Temple and we're both so happy! But then after she got pregnant the Devil started tempting me to look at men with lust. I tried to fight it, but I gave in. I even quit my job. I tell my wife I'm still going to work, but instead I'm perusing the personals on Craigslist and having secret meetings. The bank account's almost drained now! I'm not really gay. I don't do any of those things because I like it. I just can't help myself. All the cash my dad gave us for a down payment I've almost spent every penny. For motel rooms. We'll probably get evicted right after Christmas and then the baby's due soon. What should I do? How can I tell her the truth without hurting her? In spite of everything that's happened I'm still in love with her.