How do cancer patients know the end is near?
Some don’t.My sister was diagnosed stage 4 squamous cell lung cancer earlier in June of 2016. We were told she waited too long to come in. They started her on some pain medication at the hospital and sent her to the cancer treatment center located in the same hospital to begin radiation and chemo. After her radiation treatments were over, her doctor at the cancer center told her she was responding very well. He also took her pain medication away. He told her she would be getting better and that the medicine she was taking for pain was very addictive and he didn’t want her to get addicted. So he took her off of them cold turkey. She went through withdrawals from that as well as being in pain from the cancer. She did get her medicine back around December 2016. She believed what he told her. She thought since he was the doctor, he would know better than she did.About a month ago, she couldn’t breathe, so she was rushed to the hospital. She had pneumonia and the flu. They sent her home with antibiotics after seven days. My other sister has a friend who works in home health. That friend was going to come and check my sister’s situation out and determine if a nurse or hospice would be needed. Her cancer doctor faxed the nurse papers that stated my sister was in REMISSION. But a few days after we brought her home, she couldn’t breathe again. We took her to a different hospital in the largest city close to us. (The doctors in larger towns seem to be better at their profession, at least they do around here). The doctor there said that her previous doctor must not have known how to read x-rays, because her cancer was getting worse and spreading into the other lung. She was told she was dying and had only a few days, if that. One of the last things she was able to say was “I’m dying” and “I’m not ready to go”. After she said her last words, she couldn’t speak anymore. She stayed that way for three days until she passed.So, back to your question. With her doctor insisting she was getting better, she only knew she wasn’t getting better the last few days of her life.
As a cancer patient, what do you wish people would stop saying to you?
So Two things come to mind:First: Don't make any comments about what I am eating while in treatment. Eating super healthy doesn't make the cancer go away. I was eating the best I ever had in my life when I got sick. And I still got cancer anyway.When I was in the hospital, my cousin was shocked that the nurses made ice cream shakes for me for my meals (with carnation breakfast drink for actual nutrients)."They let you eat crap?"Damn straight they do. Chemo destroys your appetite. If it's a choice between ice cream and nothing, you get ice cream. Every morning before their hospital visit, my parents would text me asking what food sounded appetizing that day and they would pick that up (watermelon, summer sausage and wheat thins were my top choices). The doctors don't care what you eat as long as you are EATING.Second: At no point in time should you tell me I should be considering alternative treatments. At no point should you say anything bad about chemo while I am taking it.No. Just no. Don't you dare make a single comment about the treatment I have chosen to save my life. I chose a doctor who treats based on evidence-based medicine and I will listen to whatever he has to say. Why? Multiple studies and clinical trials have proven that it works.And I'm going add a little addendum here:What to not say to a cancer survivorDon't ever, EVER bash chemo after it saved my life.Don't tell me your mom's cousin's aunt had chemo and she died.Don't tell me that I should have taken B17 instead of giving Big Pharma more money.I will destroy you.EDIT: Sadly, I have to add another thing that was recently said to me.Don’t ever look at the 5 year survival rate and tell someone in remission that “we may not have you much longer”, as my oh so lovely coworker said to me.
Is the after effects of chemo painful, bitter, or horrible for cancer treatment? Is it a good idea to forfeit treatment if chemo does more harm than good?
I had chemotherapy and radiation after a cancer diagnosis. When I was in nursing school many years ago, I heard about all the bad side effects of chemo, and I thought that if I were ever diagnosed with cancer I would refuse chemo. That all changed when I learned I had Stage 3 uterine cancer, and I wanted to try everything available for treatment. I had a complete hysterectomy, chemo and radiation. Fortunately, my chemo was much safer than the chemo I learned about in school. I did lose my hair, (it grew back) and I did have two infections that required hospitalization. I have some neuropathy in my feet due to the chemo, and I tire more easily than before. The radiation caused diarrhea, but I was able to treat it with Imodium. The diarrhea stopped when I finished the radiation treatment. I am currently NED, no evidence of disease four years after finishing treatment. Every person with cancer has to make the best treatment decisions for him or herself, but I am glad I took the treatment.
When will I stop mourning? My best friend died of cervical cancer...?
I lost my Dad to Renal Cancer in July and I read your story last night and cried for hours. Couldn't leave a response last night so I am back today. I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer SUCKS and takes away a little part of us with every life that it takes. Your friend was so young and had so much ahead of her. Watching someone die of Cancer is heart wrenching. Hospice is a wonderful thing and my Dad passed away in inpt Hospice. He didn't loose weight but rather gained 24 lbs in his last few days. I truly believe that a person chooses when they are ready to let go and they choose who they want there with them when they die. I believe that you friend said what she said to you and her Mom because she was ready and that was closure for her but she also needed to know that you and her Mom were ready too. A person can only fight for so long. Take comfort in the fact that you had the time with her that you did. She died happy and at peace. My last vision of my Dad is him looking at me with fear until I told him that he didn't have to fight anyone and then that fear went away. We left that night and he died peacefully. I am okay with the fact that I was not there. I don't think I could have been. The whites of my Dad's eyes and his skin were so yellow too. This is from liver failure (the body shutting down). The liver filters bile and when it can't do that anymore it causing the yellowing. You will never stop mourning and if you do I don't know if that would be a healthy thing. If you feel this is becoming overwhelming for you talk to someone professionally. Above all remember the memories and that your friend is at rest and she is smiling down on you every day. Watch for her star tonight. It will be the brightest one in the sky right next to my Dad's. God Bless you and stay strong!
My boyfriend is a lung cancer survivor. He refuses to stop smoking. My good friend just died of lung cancer on Friday. I’ve begged and pleaded for years that he quit. Am I a bad partner for wanting to end the relationship?
No, not at all. You do not want to deal with the aftermath of what is proven self destructive behaviour. Your BF is sending you a message. He is telling you he doesn’t give a crap about your feelings and what you are eventually going to have to deal with. Also please note that he is exposing you to cigarette smoke either directly or indirect.He already had cancer. He knows it can and likely will come back. He knows it can and likely will kill him, but he doesn’t care!When someone doesn’t care about themselves they cannot possibly care about your feelings. I’m not saying he doesn’t care about you. He may indeed love you, Just not more than himself and not enough to care about your feelings. He is essentially telling you to watch him commit slow motion suicide!If it were me I would leave the relationship. You know how this ends if he doesn’t quit and it’s better for you to leave now because later when the cancer returns you may hate yourself for staying and want to leave, but may then have the added burden of guilt for leaving in a time of need. He doesn’t need you right now. He is proving that by not quitting so it’s best you leave.A note to any smokers reading this: Do NOT try to come to his defense with excuses about how hard it is to quit. I know how hard it is quit to smoking. I did it over 30 years ago. It took over 9 years for the urges to fully go away. It CAN be done if you WANT IT bad enough.
My Mother has cancer, yet I don't care. Is that bad?
My mother has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. Much of my family is rather upset about the matter, but I find myself indifferent. I suppose I've always been a bit detached from my family, but this still seems odd. Anyone care to explain my feelings to me?
How can i get justice for my late husband?Was being treated for constipation & died from bowel cancer !?
Trish my thoughts are with you, my husband died aged 35 from a heart attack so I've been in that wilderness. I think if you really want to pursue it you have to keep knocking at the doors of the media, try the national tabloids GMTV, your local paper, someone may latch onto this and be prepared to follow it through for the publicity for themselves. Take care and as you say he was a lovely man in time this will be your main thought instead of feeling robbed you will realise that you were very lucky indeed to have had such a wonderful man as your partner. Take care