Am I right to harbor resentment towards my mother?
I tend to find ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ to be pretty useless labels in judging human behaviour, at least when you stop short of doing deliberate harm to another person.It seems to have overtones of a moral issue, and unless someone understands your moral compass, all you are going to get from asking Quora is what strangers think is right or wrong.It’s more useful to ask something like: ‘What do I achieve by harbouring resentment against my mother?’Again, only you can answer that question. However, if I may venture some guesses, you will spend a great deal of your time seething with anger and thinking about the wrongs you think your mother did you; you may do things that will cause you not to think better of yourself; you will probably not affect your mother at all, or if you do, you may feel guilty about it and so on. It is fairly likely that nothing positive will come of you harbouring resentment towards your mother.Many of us find that life is too short and fragile to waste it doing the things I have suggested that come from harbouring resentment.So what can you do instead?You could find a counsellor who can support you while directing your thoughts in more positive directions. You could practice blocking thoughts related to what you resent about your mother. When your find yourself thinking resentful thoughts, you could try to deliberately turn your thinking towards something you find positive. You could jog or do exercise when thoughts of your mother intrude. You could mentally try to walk a mile in your mother’s shoes at the time she did the things you resent.If mother is really toxic, then cutting her out of your life entirely is not out of the question. The main thing is not to have her rule and ruin your life by you wasting it on resenting her.
Having resentment and anger towards my family?
try to understand that she did what she did because she didn't know any better!sounds like she carried a lot of anger/pain/resentment inside her and you got a lot of it growing up!but here's a thing (and I know it's hard to hear and you probably swearing up and down that you will never be like your mom)you are filled with pain and anger and resentment just like her and if you don't learn healthy ways to channel your feelings you will be just like her!not necessarily a kind of mom who treat her children the way she did,you can be the exact opposite who keeps her distance,doesn't say anything just keeps it inside because you don't want to be like her,which isn't good either!so try to understand your mom,ask her about her parents(or whom ever raised her)and you'll see the pattern(don't look at your relationship with your grandparents,focus on hers)when you understand you'll find compassion learn to communicate your feelings with words and that's how you break the pattern!!
Resentment towards my mother?
Growing up, I was always physically disciplined as a child. No matter how small or big the matter was, a whack was what I'd get (from a hand or from a belt or hanger, depending on the situation) Now, I will be turning 19 in nearly two weeks and my mom hasn't stopped hitting me. Like obviously she hits me way less now but she still hits me. She hit me very recently, maybe a week and a half ago. Today I was thinking about all the times she hit me as a kid and I now see how there was honestly no reason to hit me many of those times. Like I remember I was a badminton competition back in grade 4 (it was within the school. Our school was divided into four colours and members within each colour would compete to win it for their colour). So the competition was no big deal to be honest. I forgot to attend one of the matches and was in class instead that day. I told my mom and she whacked me hard for forgetting about it. I have so much anger built up in me right now. I feel like I don't love my mother. I don't know what to do. She hasn't done anything now but I'm so mad at her for this and I don't even want to look at her face What do I do? Am I wrong for feeling this way?
How do you handle your anger when it comes to your mother?
Anger towards one or both parents is not uncommon at all in children. It is present in all children at every stage of development. A parents job is to help their child feel and resolve their anger in a mild, healthy way. I don't know how old you are, or if your mother is still alive, or what your gender is in relation her. Every interpersonal relationship has its own dynamic and deserves to be fully explored—-especially parent-child relationships.Your anger towards your mother possibly stems back to very early childhood, and you were unable to articulate or express your anger towards her. Perhaps you have been repressing/suppressing anger towards her for so long that your current anger doesn't seem to have an appropriate context. Taking time to figure out the dynamics of your relationship with her over the years will help a great deal in understating the source of your current feelings towards her. Do not be afraid to seek the help of a therapist to help get you started, as it can be a very complex entanglement of emotions.
Are my feelings of resentment towards my step father justified?
To cut a very long story short, I am 24 year old female student who has a very close relationship with my mum esp. after my father died some time ago. There have been constant problems between me and her partners whilst growing up and I admit that I was often jelous and felt unimportant in my mothers life. Anyhow after years of therapy and taking anti deppresants I think I have worked through my issues. This nevertheless does not stop me from really hating my step father. From day 1 here took the p*** out of my mum, taking her money and tricking her into hundreds of thousands of pounds of debt. He used to be a big bussiness man and went bust and covers up his insecurities by critisizing many things me and my mother do. His attitude made them both nearly divorce at christmas but he got seriously ill and they pulled themselves together. He is still very ill and I have tried to be as supportive as possible to them both and accept my mothers decission to forgive him. Now he is moving into our family home and the conflict is arising between me and him because he is trying to assert himself as the dominant Alpha Male. In an all female houshold which has been like that for years not a clever thing to do. In my opinion he should show some humility and treat us as equals. Mum lets him get away with his attitude because she feels sorry for him but I am tired of putting all my efforts into being nice and letting snide remarks slip when he only bothers to be agreeable when it is convenient. Now there is the added pressure of him falling down dead if I stress him, but does that allow him to treat me like crap? I am moving away in 1 month so it won't be my problem for much longer-however I don't know what our constant arguing will mean for the relationship between me and my mum. She stands up for him as she sees him as being weaker and mistrusts me and my sincere wish that she is happy. I suppose I am wondering how you all would feel in my situation because I have come to the point where I don't know right from wrong anymore. Thanks for reading x