How should I own up to my mistakes?
This is one of the great skills of leadership.I remember the first time I was confronted with a “bad mistake” I had made. I was working with a startup, and we’d negotiated a very important partnership. Everyone had looked at the contract carefully. All of the senior team. And somehow, we’d agreed to give away a ton of important rights to the partner. We signed it and patted ourselves on the back for getting the deal done.Our new boss came in a few months later and looked at the contract and immediately asked me why we’d agreed to such a horrible, damaging term. I froze up in front of the whole team. I never really answered, except with mumbling excuses and deflecting blame. He was right, we never should have signed it. Period. But I couldn’t take the blame in front of a dozen others who also worked on the team. I shrunk and deflected instead.That’s probably how most of us are wired to act. And it makes for a terrible manager, and later, a terrible leader.You need to learn to get past this:Learn to apologize quickly and directly for your errors.Try to fix your mistakes.Blame less often, not more often. Blame rarely helps and undermines trust.And when in doubt, take the blame yourself. Blame should go up when in doubt, not down.This is what true leaders do. You can’t fix everything, and some things, you can’t even try to fix. Once you become a CEO, you’ll actually we wracked with doubts and guilts about your mistakes. They will haunt you.But owning up to them is one of the greatest management skills and hacks there is. It lets everyone move on, and helps folks understand they work in a trusting environment where mistakes are acknowledged — and forgiven.
How can I stop mentally beating myself up for mistakes in my life?
Stop being mental. Replaying the mistake over and over punishing yourself is only reinforcing the mistake into your reality.If you continue down that road, you’ll go through Life as though you are walking on glass fearful of every move you make because you think it will lead to more mistakes.Your mind will be paralyzed and your heart will be clinched afraid of living. Then more problems start setting in. This video is sort of what is happening in your world:One way to stop berating yourself is to tell yourself that you’ll do better next time and immediately let the unfortunate situation go. That is the best anyone can do. Then proceed with the rest of the day.When you are at a place of calm and relax state of mind, maybe during the evening before going to bed, process the situation so that you give your brain an opportunity to learn the lesson during REM sleep. Further more, internally process positive situations that you experienced even more so that this positive path becomes apparent in your reality.You need to understand how powerful you are. Your mind is a great tool. Your heart is incredible - it is energetically aligned based on how you think most of the Time. So you want to replace negative thoughts with many positive ones.In order to use the mind effectively, you need to know how to re-adjust your Focus. Your heart will help you with that. So, keep your thoughts powerfully shifted into positivity. Then everything else falls into place without doing much work.The real Work you do will be pleasurable and exciting.If you spend more than 50% of the Time holding onto all the past mistakes and seeing Life negatively dark and superior vs inferior, what do you think will happen to your reality? This leads to pain, suffering, misery, lack, weakness, sadness, insecurities, etc…Now, if you spend more than 50% of the Time releasing past mistakes and Focusing Life in the positive aspects and seeing all known and unknown Life forms uniquely special, what do you think will happen? Yes, this is the way that leads to paradise, a realm of heavenly bliss; probably something on the lines of the ‘Garden of Eden.”
How can I stop beating myself up for my mistakes and instead learn from them and move on?
In order to let the past go and halt beating yourself up, you must forgive yourself officially.Feel the embarrassment or shame one final time. Really feel it throughout your body. Next, tell yourself that everyone makes mistakes and you know you that that outcome was not your intention. It was an accident. Finally, make the decision to forgive yourself and do it. It helps to even say it out loud.From now on, it’s okay. You are forgiven.Every time the thought comes back, simply remind yourself that you have already been forgiven, so there’s no reason to feel bad anymore. Then push the thought away.Dwelling on our mistakes can totally paralyze us going forward. I think the faster you can forgive yourself and let things go, the faster you’ll be able to get on with your life. We don’t want to let these little awkward mishaps derail our growing self-confidence either.
How do I get my ex back after I, by mistake, cheated on him with his best friend? I love him so much and I deeply regret it, but he doesn't want me back. I can't live without him.
You have no idea how much damaged you have dealt to him emotionally and physically.I’ve been thru this scenario and i can tell you, you have scarred and hurt him deeply.Just to explain my r/s, i have been in love witj my ex for 4.5 yrs. It was love at first sight for both of us. During the r/s i am struggling financially as my family had a debt and im working part time thru my studies to keep the water and electricity up and running, and to fuel my father smoking addiction. I forsake my degree to get a full time job to clear all these problem, during the time i working, i would work in a construction industy 12hrs a day for 13 days straight and 1 off day for xtra money on the table. That 1 precious off day i would spend what would be my wife.I would save up on my own meal to bring her out for dinner, pocket my own money from buying new clothes and instead bring her go travelling all expense paid, taiwan vietnam bali krabi bangkok korea you name it.I, till this day have never stepped foot in a club or drink any alcohol as i loved her so much i control myself in events i will do things that harm her. And shes the first girl i experience any physical and sexual, and the only girl i slept with till this day.After 4yrs of hardwork, i finally paid off the debt and saved enough for a house and got promoted on the job, i decided to proposed to her as she is the only person in my mind and i would gladly spend the rest of my life with till death.She comes out and tell me when i was about to proposed that she slept with her colleague twice, telling me cause i am money minded, didnt spend enough time with her and she thought i didnt love her anymore.I went thru depression straight after that, my face paled, i couldnt eat, i barely able to sleep with help of cough mixture and sleeping pill, i lost 8kg in 2 weeks, my mental and physical health is taking a toll on me.If you cheated on him, then please fk off, you dont deserve him. I just hope karma will hit you real hard. There is no such thing as accidental
How can I prevent myself from losing faith in myself and humanity?
Lately I can't help but notice just how sad I feel, it mostly comes from how I have been treated by people outside of my family my whole life. In middle school, I was always picked on and teased and in Junior High School and High School I was teased more than would have been okay and was an extreme outcast since I had trouble fitting in and wasn't really welcomed or treated very well by my classmates. I thought college was going to be better but I find everyone to be just pretentious, self-serving,rude, cowardly, and in some cases cruel. I have only found a few good people that have shown generosity and earnestness towards myself and others, people who weren't pretending to be something they weren't or treated others like they were beneath them. I had experience as an RA and that allowed me to see the darker side of college students, and it never helped that I found no fellowship among my staff. I have always been an outsider and have had trouble fitting in and conforming to those standards/beliefs or behaving like they do. I have come to accept my responsibility in my set-backs and my life, I always own up to my mistakes but not many other people do. I find it depressing that our culture glorifies these people and forms of entertainment like "Jersey Shore" or other garbage like "Twilight" or "Beastly". I know I'm sounding whiny or like I look down my nose at people but I don't. Things like these keep me up at night and how people can be so cruel to one another on a daily basis or how we can just say other people's problems aren't our own. Where has humanity gone or the concept of it? I lose faith in myself because I feel as if I am doomed to end up as that or end up going the way I am now. That I will not be able to fit in or become sociable enough to be welcome in any group or circle. I have tried to blend in or fit in in many groups I have encountered and nothing works, and I find myself back at square one. I know this has been long but I apologize.
How do I hold myself from giving up on my dream just because I made one mistake?
Never give upYou are not a quitter, you realized your mistake.You are analyzing yourself, you want to hold your dream and only persevering people do that.Pursue your course, always visualize creatively about your dream.Mistakes are lessonsExperience is the best teacher. You can learn from your mistakes.So find what you learned from the mistake you mentioned.Cheer upRead your favorite books / quotes.As a chef cook something and serve it to your friends and family.I am sure you will be back in your track.Start a blog for you, create a brand for yourself just exploit the power of social media.Its just a mistake as you said, don’t make them as mistakes.
What is the worst relationship mistake you have made?
Yesterday, I met one of my friends. During our meeting she received a call. She didn't want to attend that call as she was with me, but I insisted her to receive.After few lines of conversation, that call turned ugly. Where she started crying and the person on the other side was abusing her constantly. Then, she disconnected.It was quite a show.I asked the matter, and she narrated her story. The guy on the phone was her best friend during her college days. They were so close that everyone in the college thought that they were in a relationship.So one day, that guy proposed to her and expressed his feelings. He was her best friend yet she never developed any feelings for him. That's why she gave him these reasons to avoid that situation:Different casteFamily problemBut she made a terrible mistake, as she was afraid to lose his friendship. She never stopped him from doing things where she was uncomfortable.As she had never been in a relationship before, she didn't know what to do. He kept pushing her for a relationship, and she kept making excuses.But she never had the guts to tell him the truth, that she has no feelings for him at all.After one year she fell in love with another guy. One day her best friend told her, that he has fallen for another girl. Then, she revealed her secret too about her relationship with the other guy.And he couldn't digest her relationship. Now this is where all the problem started. He started abusing her, calling her characterless and the words which you can't imagine that can be uttered by a civilised person.As it wasn't a relationship at all, but this is the mistake which most people do.Confusion.They are confused about their feelings.If you are confused about your feelings, take your time and clear the things.If you have feelings Or, if you don't have feelings, tell them clearly. Don't play with sign language, not everyone can interpret it successfully.If you don't have feelings, never give them any hope. And never allow anyone to mistreat you.And lastly most important, don't go into a relationship where you have not developed any feelings. You don't have to show pity. Because, ultimately the destiny of those relationships turn out to be disastrous (mostly).Choose your relationships wisely.Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as being in the wrong relationship.
I can't make up my mind and make a definite decision, I change my mind every single day. What is wrong with me?
I believe that each of us has a certain amount of energy per day to make proper decisions. By proper I mean those you stick with. Maybe your problem is, that you make far too many decisions everyday draining the energy you need for the big decisions you have to make. Thus, they are not well thought out and you keep changing and changing them.What you could try is automating some decisions. Make a list of what you eat for breakfast on each day of the next week, what you are going to do each day after work. or even set the clothes you are going to wear each day. Now you can just follow your plan and don't need to make a decision each day on the fly. These are just three examples. See, if there are things in your life you can decide in advance, do that and then stick with it.You could also delegate some decisions. You don't know which shoes to buy? Bring whoever's style you trust with you and let them decide what looks best on you. I made really good experiences with buying clothes. Buying clothes was always a struggle for me. That insecurity! Now I go shopping with my wife and actually enjoy it. I let her do the majority of the search for me. Of course, I am looking as well and if I like something reasonably well, I act on her nodding or headshaking. I try what she finds and the things she nodded to. Then I let her make the decision and if I'm not totally against it, I just proceed to the counter. I mean, it's not like I'm just there without an own will, but I let her take charge and only object, if I feel strongly about it. The result: no more stress when shopping, actual enjoyment, I look way better than before and I don't drain the decision-battery for superficial stuff.Try to think about decisions you could delegate in a similiar way in order to conserve some of that decision-energy for the big ones.
Have you ever witnessed your life ruined from a small mistake you made?
I am currently witnessing the same because of small mistakes I messed up my life. I am 41, unemployed (past 1 year) and living on my parents income in their house and worst is I hardly talk to them. I cannot say “ A mistake “ guess it has to be series of wrong decisions I made in my life which is the reason I am in the situation. Only good thing I have done is I am still single and have no plans to marry.First mistake, after graduation I didn't do job but just to avoid doing job I started my own general store. Worst mistake because I never had any idea or plan of doing something concrete.Second mistake, out of blue after 7 years I felt I need to do a job so closed the shop and started looking for job and luckily found, moved from home town away from family and started adjusting to new job.Third mistake, after 18 months left the job came back home and was depressed. Could not understand what to do with life until after 6 months moved back to same place to find another job. Was not happy with the job but was adjusting with the routine until I found love of my life at work place and started enjoying the place job. After an year she left the job and I continued for sometime.Fourth mistake, after 4 years working at one place left that job, without any reason and had no plans to search new job as I thought I might be lucky again, could not find for next few months and was back to my parents home. Luckily found a job at my hometown but was away from my love. Long distance relationship started.Fifth mistake, could not concentrate on the job and performance was going down. Was asked to leave. Long distance could not work and I started giving excuses which had an very bad effect on our relationship.Sixth mistake, this was the worst mistake and I regret it. After losing job at my hometown went I went away from home gave an interview and I got an offer, but this time parents were not ready and said no need to go anywhere and search job in hometown. Till now I regret this decision as I knew I won't search any job.Last mistake I stopped talking with my parents, even though I stay with them. Have no idea about what I will be doing in my life. I am really depressed with my life.
What do I do if my husband keeps bringing up my past or my upbringing whenever we have an argument? It really hurts that he uses these things against me when I trusted him enough to reveal these aspects about myself.
It is relative to what the past involves to be honest.Does it involve you cheating on him, maybe causing him to cheat on another (which is actually his fault too), leading to the breakup of another relationship before, is it something that you actually have to feel bad about?I am just going to use these as examples because they could possibly fit into the situation:ex- prostitute: not to be ashamed of, people do it for many reasons.Ex/ recovering or still addict to a chemical - alhocohol, drugs, food whatever: unless there are people reliant on you (kids, family, work) and you steal or are on the dole to pay for these habits, then that is nothing to be ashamed of, you could smoke weed everyday, so long as you pay for it by going to work, anybody who says anything can shut up. Breaking up of somebody's relationship: this is horrid, but many reasons might be the cause of this, if the relationship were happy then one or other would not have performed the action they did to cause you to be part of the break up. neglecting/ abusing children: this happened to my siblings and I at an early age, it is not acceptable, if you bring a child into an abusive/neglectful scenario then you are a disgrace and deserve to be shot- get the hell out.Now, there are, as many others have said, a lot of situations where the guy it trying to be controlling, breaking you down, trying to undermine your confidence. Do not allow this, just walk away with a look of disgust, ignore all calls and attempts at contact from him and leave him to stew on what he said, anticipation is torture for the brain. He will think it over, go through many scenarios in his head and when you come back, just keep ignoring him, make sure you make it clear that you require an apology and that it is not acceptable.