Just found out I'm adopted!!!!?
Yep, easy to pick the posts on here from people who aren't adopted......wonder how they'd all feel if they had just been informed that everything they believed about themselves was a lie? Being adopted is hard to deal with even when your parents tell you when your little...I cant imagine what its like to find out when you're a teenager (Im assuming you're in your teens?) You have every right to be angry with your adopted parents, you have ALWAYS had the right to honesty from them. Dont rush into anything. Give yourself time to absorb the impact and think out how you want to respond. Most adoptees go through the wanting to be with their first mum, you're not alone there....fact is in all likelyhood there are lots of people out there who you share DNA with. Once you have processed the fact that you're adopted search for them, lots of us do it, its not easy but it was definitely one of the most worthwhile things I have ever done. Hang tough sweetie, it does get easier to deal with and you will find lots of support from adult adoptees on here who have had similar experiences and are further through the journey of living with having been adopted. Feel free to email me if you want.
I found out my brother is my father and my parents had adopted me, what I should do?
My husband and I adopted two babies. My husband was a medical doctor, I was also a professional and worked. Our idea was that there are lots of children already on this world needing love and a good home. We rather adopt then produce more. Our policy was openness and truthfulness always. The children knew they were adopted as soon as they could understand it. They also knew that they were loved.We had information about their biological parents. When they grew up we encouraged them to get in touch with the biological parents, because some genetic information may be useful for them some time. Their response was: “You are the only parents we ever knew, and we don’t need anybody else.”My beloved husband of 64 years is gone, died last year. Our children are now married and have their families, but they are very loving and caring. Neither they nor us never thought that the fact that they were adopted made any difference.Think about it this way: you may have had pets. How much could you love a pet? I am sure very much. Than think how much can you love a tiny baby, and later a child. I am worried that the depressing factor in your case is that you “found out.” That your adoptive parents did not tell you the truth, and it shocked you. But you must forgive them. They did it , because they feared that the truth would hurt you. It was a mistake, but they did it out of love for you.
I want to see my brother but his adopted parents won't let me? What should I do?
Ok so here's the back story : I have a little brother, we're 4 years apart. When we were little our biological mom had issues with drug addiction. My older brother went to live with his dad, I went to live with my dad, and my little brother was put into foster care. And soon adopted by a girl named Jen. Jen is painfully overprotective of him! She won't let him see me or my older brother. She's scared that we'll bring up our biological mom to him. Thing is, he was a BABY when all the issues with our mom happened.. he doesn't remember her. My older brother and I arnt gonna bring up a person he can't remember to him. A few months ago, I called her. I brought up how I wanted to see him. She asked " do you still have contact with your mom?" I said " yes, but we rarely talk. Haven't seen her in 2 years." And she said she'd just call me back.. And never did. I've tried calling her and texting her. No answer! In a few weeks I'll be going back to my hometown after a few years on the other side of the country. I'll be staying there for 2 weeks to visit family. She lives the state over where I'll be staying. I REALLY WANT TO SEE MY LITTLE BROTHER AGAIN!!! Last time I seen him was when he was about 3 and I was about 7 when Jen let me go to his birthday party. I'm only 15, what can I do to see him again?
If you were adopted as a baby or infant, at what age did you find out and how?
This is my adoption story to the best of my knowledge. The information I have comes from both my biological mother and my adoptive mother.I was adopted as an infant. My adoptive mother was in the delivery room with my biological mother during my birth. My adoption had been arranged through a private agency. I’m not sure if my biological mother interacted with me very much at the hospital, if at all. Giving me up was extremely hard and emotional for my bio mom who had just turned 16 several weeks before my birth.My adoption had been arranged after my mother (will use this term for my adoptive mother for the rest of the story) was miraculously cured of her life-threatening malignant melanoma cancer. She was not able to have children after the agresssive experimental treatments. My parents had only been married a few months when she was diagnosed, and five years later they wanted a family.At first my biological mother did not want contact with me. It was too difficult. But my parents sent a few updates and photos to the agency so she could see me grow up if she wanted to. They were always ok with an open adoption.Next they adopted another baby from Hawaii a few years later and during that process something strange happened. They received a call from my bio mom’s sister saying she was now pregnant and requesting that my parents take her baby as well. She wanted my cousin and I to grow up together and seemed to trust my parents. This was out of the ordinary but my parents prayed and felt that it was right to bring my cousin into the family. I now was four and had two adopted sisters, one Hawaiian and one my bio cousin. As I watched the adoptions happen, to me this was the way that babies entered families. Adoption was my normal.After my parents adopted my cousin, my bio mom decided she was ready for contact with me. Our families were so intertwined at that point. They made plans to meet. I then lived several states away, but the family flew over and we all spent time together. My bio mom, aunt, and grandma were all there. We had a slumber party. I remember them bursting into tears at times, and trying to hide their crying. I didn’t fully understand the weight of meeting them.Since then we’ve kept in touch and I consider my birth family great friends and part of my family. I am so grateful to my mom and dad for allowing me to know where I came from.
I just found out I was adopted at 13. Now I know my mom doesn't care. I'm hurt and it makes me want to hurt myself. What should I do?
I'm so sorry this happened to you, this must have come as quite a shock. I'm also adopted, though my adoptive parents told me since I was very young. They also told me why I was put up for adoption.My birth mother had loved me very much but my birth father didn't want me. He convinced her to give me up and thus I was adopted at ten days old. Afterwards, my birth mother became pregnant again. She was so devastated from losing me that she refused to give up my younger sister, Angelique, who, I have never met. All I know is at some point my birth parents broke up. I have a brother and a sister somewhere and more than likely there's more now. When my adoptive parents told me this, I was really hurt. I didn't understand why my birth father hated me so much that he coerced my birth mother into getting rid of me. And I know that this also hurt my birth mother a lot and kept me from meeting either her, my birth father or any of my siblings. I've reached the age now where I'm old enough to seek them out if I'd like. I have chosen not to. It was a decision I struggled with for a while admittedly. I actually laugh when I imagine meeting my birth father. I bet he'd be horrified if I showed up on his doorstep one day. I'm sure he wants nothing to do with me. When I was little, this hurt me. Now that I'm older I realize that I was given up at a very young age, he never knew me or could make any judgment on the person I would become. He should hold no sway on what I think of myself now. And this is the same for you. You know who you are and what greatness you're capable of. This is something that your birth mother could have never predicted. There may have been many reasons she chose to put you up for adoption but NONE of them have anything to do with who you are as a person, or your self worth. So don't let it affect you.Also, do NOT self-harm. If you're feeling compelled to do so, please talk to someone. A friend, family member, counselor or even a hotline. Hurting yourself is not the answer. There are other ways, more effective ways, to handle this type of pain. Feel free to leave a comment if you need anyone to talk to.
What's it like finding out that you are adopted?
Yes, I know it.I actually over heard it when I was in 7th grade. My hands started trembling listening that I am not their daughter. Who quenched my every need are not my own parents. I couldn't take this for that particular moment. Silently wiped my tears, went inside and tightly hugged my dad and sat on his lap.My case is indeed a different one. I am not legally adopted. I was brought up by my biological father's sister(my mom dad). I was left at their place when I was one year old. May be because I am a girl, they didn't turn up to take me home. Or may be my good deeds in my last birth made me stay back with these wonderful souls.I am 27 now. Till date I didn't get to see any kind of discrimination made. They look after me more than their own kids. Selfless people you see.I am so dear to them. As my dad, in his last days, could recognize only me(he was counting his days with liver cancer last stage).For every minute decision they take my opinion. It's like I am an integral part of the family. I am lucky enough to be one among them. I owe them anything and everything.Us!! :D~Soumya
Why do my parents love my brother? He's only adopted?
What a truly nasty person you are. Do you realise just how spoiled and jealous you sound? 'only' adopted', that's a wicked thing to say, they chose him and chose to give their love to him,so get used to it and see what wonderful parents you have. That could have been you growing up in a children's home or foster care.
How do I deal with finding out I was adopted?
I'm so sorry. My 4 year old is a step-parent adoption. She's mine biologically, but her Daddy wasn't a part of our life until she was a little older and he finally adopted her when she was 2. Understand that your adoptive parents loved you. They probably kept the secret because they didn't know how to tell you. We have been struggling with exactly how we're telling our daughter about her adoption. We feel she should be told early on for just this reason. But it seems like every time you think of the perfect way to say it, you realize that maybe you're wrong and you shouldn't explain it that way. You get confused in your own mind about what to say.. Your birth family loved you enough to provide a better life for you by giving you up. As a mother, I can't imagine the tremendous amount of love your Birth Mom must have had to have willingly handed you away to more capable hands. It would have broken my heart to have to do it. And your family paid all the money, probably waited for years, and then raised you up to be the person you are because they loved you. They probably kept the secret because they didn't know how to say it without hurting you. It's okay to be shocked. It's even okay to be a little angry. But try to understand that nobody meant for this to hurt you. If it's too much to handle, ask your parents to help you get some counseling to work through it. I'm sure they'll oblige. Best Wishes.
Tell children they're adopted or not?
I've known as long as I can remember that I was adopted. Growing up, it was never a big deal to me. My adopted parents never acted like my entrance into the family was anything unusual. My (adopted) brothers & sister are their bio-children...I'm the 'baby' of the family. I am SO GRATEFUL my parents told me the truth. I can't imagine the pain and betrayal of finding out much later. The only down side to this (for me) is not understanding why people say stupid things like, "She's not their REAL daughter, you know. She's adopted." However, every story I've ever read involving an adult finding out they are adopted leaves them REELING. It's devastating to find out you've been lied to your entire life. And to discover that many of your family members knew the 'secret', but kept it from you. I vote for honesty. You're kids take their cues from you. Let them know that adoption is one way families are formed, and it will just seem "normal" to them. Always remember: "One of the most powerful healing forces available to every parent, free of charge: is empathy. Empathy allows a person to feel her feelings, rather than repress them, so they can be released."