How do you punish a 9year old for stealing money?
When I was a UK police officer it was not unusual for parents to bring in a child who had been stealing money from them or stealing from shops. For some reason, I seemed to get a lot of these as I was deemed to be fairly good at “a caution”I normally spent the first 5 minutes ensuring that the child knew that stealing was wrong. My tactic then was to explain to the child how much they had let Mum and Dad down. How much they had disappointed them. I would then explain that Mum and Dad had just begun to trust them with going to the shops on their own and that was a big thing as parents tried to protect their children and trust needed to be built up. They had, by stealing, hurt their parents as that trust had been broken. I pointed out that their parents would always love them but they now had to rebuild their trust and that would take a long time because every time they went out they would be worried that the police would call and say they were in the cells. It was normally followed by a trip to the cells and being locked in whilst I spoke to the parents outside.On one occasion parents came in and asked that I give their children a really heavy caution. There were 2 x 10-year-olds and 1 x 15 year old. I used my normal chat but a little louder and targeted mainly at the 15 year old. My final words to the 10 year old was words to the effect that although the older girl took most of the blame because she was older they both knew what they were doing was wrong.When they had left the DC came back to the office laughing his head off. When I asked what was the matter he told me the 2 x 10 year olds had been leaving and he heard one whisper to the other “I’ve wet my knickers” to which the other replied “So have I”. I often wonder if I had a real adverse influence on their development
How to stop stealing money? Especially from my parents?
So I'm 14 years old currently and I don't know what to do. The first time I stole any money was a few years ago when I was in grade 3. I saw a 100 dollar bill lying on my mum's wallet and I took it. My parents found out that night because my wallet was see through and they didn't punish me. They didn't ground me, or not allow me outside to play or something. They just gave me a lecture. Since then I've been consistently stealing small amounts of money from my mum's wallet. Stealing maybe around 5-10 dollars from it whenever I felt like I was short on money. Other from the first time I was caught, I only got caught taking money out of my mum's wallet one other time, and that was around 3 years ago when I was around 11. Around two years ago I started actually getting money from my parents, around 100 dollars a month for my lunch at school, but even though I'm stealing significantly less frequently now, I'm still occasionally doing it. Now the amount has dropped to just coins and the like, I think around 5 dollars each time. I really need advice, I don't know what I should do, especially since I feel guilty about stealing the money, and my parents aren't doing anything other than giving me a short lecture about it, and I don't know what to do.
I stole money off my parents and now they are making me choose my own punishment?
i have been talking it for quite sometime but they have only just realised, they told me to make up my own punishment (im 14 btw) im thinking about letting them take my laptop away for a week? any ideas?
I grounded my son for 6 months. Is this an appropriate punishment or am I being too harsh?
A few weeks ago, my 16-year-old son stole $20 from me, bought and smoked marijuana, and stayed out 3 hours past curfew (It was a Friday night, I had set midnight as a curfew, and he came back just after 3:00 in the morning). I had waited up for him, and I was worried sick that he wasn't back yet. I tried calling him on his cell phone what seemed like a hundred times, and he had it turned off. I had also noticed that $20 inexplicably went missing from my wallet. So I was furious when my son finally got home at 3 in the morning, high as a kite and reeking of marijuana smoke. I admit I reacted out of anger, and I shouted "I'm going to punish you like you've never been punished before. You're grounded for 6 months!" The terms of his grounding are as follows. I sent him straight to bed when he got home and the next morning I had a very serious discussion with him. He admitted to stealing money from me to get the marijuana, and I told him these grounding terms: No TV No Computer No video games No phone (I took away his cell phone and he's not allowed to use the home phone) No friends No desserts He's not allowed to leave the house or go outside. He's also not allowed home alone, so he has to come with me on errands. I also gave him an early bedtime of 8 PM on weekends and 9 PM on school nights (It's later on weeknights because of homework). Each day, when he finishes homework, I make him copy substance abuse books by hand until bedtime. He has about 60 looseleaf pages filled so far. I am wondering if maybe I am being too hard on him. I realize I probably reacted in anger, and should have waited to calm down before I dished out his punishment. This week, I've cooled on the substance abuse books- I'm only making him copy one page of the book each day. I'm still making him read a chapter each day, however. I've also decided to make an exception to the "no dessert" part of his grounding on Thursday, since it's thanksgiving. He will be allowed to eat one piece of pumpkin pie, but no more. He's really a good kid, and this is the first time he's been in any major trouble. I never imagined he's use drugs. This is also the first time I've given him a punishment anywhere near this severe. Please help! Am I being too harsh, or is this an appropriate punishment?
Parent teacher conference..&...discipline?
we went to parent/teacher/student conference tonight and with my 8 and 6 year old sitting there my sons teacher asked how i discipline him? resently we have been trying many forms of discipline with our children to see what works best... time out, loss of priviledges, rationalizing, reward systems and the occasional spanking when the crime fits the punishment. so when she asked me that i explained all of our methods. and she stopped me on rationalizing... and asked well who decides the consequences? i was shocked at first... of course the parents right? should he have a choice at 8 yrs old? i mean its his choice to behave the ways he does and i explain that to him, but should he get to pick his punishment when he chooses to misbehave?? then she went on to say... well no wonder why he looks at me like im crazy. because i let him choose. im lost please any feedback (serious) will be greatly appriciated. thanks!!!
Have you ever been told to pick your own poison/choose your own punishment?
Why, yes indeed! When I was about 6 or so I did something bad (don’t remember what exactly, but it was probably The Tarzan Incident with the curtains) and my Dad calmly asked me whether I should receive a spanking or have my tv taken away for 2 weeks. My father was never cruel, very rarely spanked me, and knew that I was clever, so this offer was giving me a way out of physical punishment. It was an act of mercy.But I didn’t want mercy - I wanted my Blues Clues.When I chose spanking, my dad was floored - I’m talking bug-eyed, mouth agape, and stunned speechless. His reaction was so comical I had to hold back a giggle to keep from getting into even more trouble.He hesitated (the shock really knocked the steam out of him) and gave me a few half-hearted swats before sending me on my way. Even without full force the swats hurt, and I did whimper a little, but I didn’t cry. Instead, I went to my room.And I watched my dang Blues Clues6 year old me was one crazy badass. ;)Just a head’s up - I’m not going to get into any debates about spanking in the comment section so please keep such things to yourself. If you’re curious about my stance on the issue here you go:I Do Not condone spanking and will not spank my kids, should I have any. That said, I understand that my dad raised me to the best of his ability using the disciplinary tools of his generation. No parent is perfect and my father is no exception. I love him and he loves me and there’s no changing the past, only the future for the next generation.Thanks for reading!