I Suddenly Missed My Ex Best Friend Who Betrayed Me

Should I forgive my ex-bestfriend who once betrayed me?

Well, I think kindness and humility are the 2 most valuable traits in mankind.The irony is that they both are seldom found in mankind these days.I think I have been in a similar situation as yours too. Some couple of years back, I had certain issues over righteousness with my 'ex' best friend , resulting in the termination of our friendship.We were not on talking terms for over 7-8 months, after which one fine day, I got a text from her that she would want to be my friend again. Brave as I thought her step was, I politely declined the offer saying that I choose my friends with my own will and not with force.1 more month passed and one fine day we were both supposed to have an interview post which we both were in an elevator and kind of struck a conversation regarding how the interview went.We started talking again and now that its been more than 2 years, since that 'silly' incident happened, my ex best friend is my best friend again.We did not talk about that topic for the initial months, but we talk about it now.Coming back to you, why  am I  narrating my tale to you, is to tell you few things: 1. If given a chance, would I  like to change the events of old incidents. Hell Yes, why ? because I think we both were immature back then.2. I have now realized, that your best friend need not be an exact replica of you by mind.3. We need to just stop judging people around us , accept and love the way they are.4. Never close doors for a person who has guilt in him or her, very few people have the courage to showcase that.My best friend  has helped me handle some of the tough phases of life and I am glad I have her.Cutting long story short: Give people the chance they deserve, not everyone is like you, empathize with her, understand why she did what she did, BE KIND. That's the most valuable trait in mankind.

Why do I still care about my friend who betrayed me?

Love is intrinsically unconditional. We put conditions on it in an attempt to protect ourselves or due to the wounds we all experience in life. Its based in our biological, capacity for empathy - out of which Love is an outgrowth. Morality as well. Once we share personal love (as opposed to generalized compassion) we’ve established some pretty deep neural pathways in our brains. There’s an oft quoted remark people can say about the worst people who’ve been in their lives in disruptive & negative manners, once they’re gone: “I’ll kind of miss him somehow”. Familiarity for so long & intensely makes them sorta like a perverse comfort food with neural pathways (essentially memories) that have formed. With Love the feelings are far more profound. More so with women who have more sophisticated emotional & intuitive systems. Also (& this unbelievably critical) there is a profound difference between forgiving & excusing. The first is when you see the potential for good & actively wish that for someone. The second cannot occur until the person takes responsibility for their actions. That means A) reparative action B) It has to cost them something. Always important (but especially when it is something that cannot be taken back - the most extreme example being murder or similar) is to heal the place from which they did such a thing. Or indisputably make the effort so that it at least partially occurs in an ongoing way.When you deeply get all this its literally a superpower you will have mastered that will be of such value in dealing with challenges yet to come, it cannot even be described.

How can I forget my best friend? How do I stop missing her presence in my life?

It’s so hard to lose someone who has been not just a close friend, but a best friend. It hurts, especially if she/he is the one that dumped you. Then you’re not just dealing with the loss of a friend, but betrayal too. But even something like a move is painful to go through and can make you feel lonely and dejected. Here are some things that I hope will help you.Remind yourself that it is okay to grieve the loss. All losses are painful and unfortunately they are also a part of the growth of life. Everyone loses friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, pets and also things like jobs, health, childhood, etc. Sometimes you just have to feel the pain to process it, but remember that the pain will get better. Pain can also make you more empathetic and a stronger person. Just as losses are part of life, so are gains. You will gain new friends, new relationships, new interests, new talents, new knowledge—and so many new things that will make you happy.Make new friends. I know this is easier said than done. Sometimes people’s “friend circles” seem to be full. If that’s the case, look around for other people who might be in need of a friend. There are always people around who are lonely. Also, look for opportunities that will introduce you to new people. If you’re still in school, try out for a sport, help with the school play, join a club, etc. Usually shared activities are the best place to make friendships.Do service for others. The fastest way to stop feeling sorry for yourself is to help others. Once when I was at a low point, I sponsored a child in an impoverished country. At the time, it was a financial sacrifice but it reminded me how blessed I really was. We can always do something to help someone else with greater needs.Keep a gratitude journal. Every day write down something different that you are grateful for. As you do this, you’ll be amazed at all of the good things in your life. (Plumbing, pain medication, flowers, chocolate, internet, etc) Have a positive attitude whenever you can. People are drawn to people who are happy. But the fastest way to drive people away is to be the type of person who is always negative and complaining.Hugs! It will get better.