Ask a question

I Think My Mom Is Having An Affair .

I think my mom is having an affair?

Well, kinda. She's not having an affair (or at least I don't know that). I setting up her new iPhone and I checked to make sure everything was there and I saw this note she had that downloaded from iCloud. It talked about how she loves her "best friend" and that she wants to be together and how if there wasn't a distance she felt like she would have cheated already. She also talks about out how she's playing with fire and someone will get burned. I know every Wednesday she skypes him for an unknown amount of time while I'm at school. That guy is married also, but his marriage is failing. I'm not sure what to think. The note was written yesterday so its recent. I know I shouldn't have kept on reading but I couldn't stop. Idk what to do! I'm not going to tell my dad and I don't really want to confront my mom about it. It just makes me feel really weird inside and I don't like it. (Oh btw my dad did a similar thing that my mom found out about a few years ago but it was like just meeting up with other women). I'm a 16 year old guy if that makes any difference

I Think I Caught my Mom Having an Affair?

I am so sorry that you are caught in between all this. Let me walk you through some facts about cheaters.

1. Cheaters Deflect - Your mother has been projecting your father as the bad guy. Even if you deny it, it is true. This deflection is done in a subtle ways like showing mild annoyance at the activity of the innocent spouse. Children pick up these signals in subconscious and ingrain it. Like you said in your statement - "my mom has been very unhappy with my dad for a little while now" showing that your father is not taking adequate care of the relationship.

2, Cheaters gaslight - They will give wild explanations of their actions. Which mom would expose their children to wildly erotic material? Why did she not talk about something baseless about you in those chats that you would confront her about. They will obscure the issue till it is indistinguishable from the truth.

My suggestion is that you apologies to your mother and tell her that you will confess about this in front of the whole family. Then when your father and brother returns. Sit down with the whole family and confess that you found inappropriate sexual conversations between your Mom and Brent. Tell them that while it was wrong for you to snoop but you were just looking at the screen when some highly inappropriate words caught your eyes and you read on.

This way, you will expose the lies and yet, your mom will be able to blame you because you are just saying sorry and not deliberately exposing her. Trust me when I tell you - It is better to live with a strong confident father and have a part time mom than to have a crushed in spirit father (which he will be later when your mother dumps him for Brent) and a guilty mother. Let me know if this helps.

I think my mom is having an affair - what do I do?

ok so i know my parents marriage has been on the rocks lately - my dad accuses my mom of having another guy on the side. well my mom and i are very close - we tell each other everything and spend so much time with each other - but lately she's been distant. i mean - she says she's goin to work but doesn't come home until like two or three or four in the morning. and she's been coming home from her day shift later and later. she's always tired. now i know that's doesn't mean that she's having an affair but her behavior is starting to change and i just thought i was being overly suspicous but - today she feel asleep with her phone in her hand. i figured she had been setting her alarm for the moring so i took the phone from her hand and was about to close it when a text message popped up. it was from this guy that i know that happens to be a friend of hers. well i know i shouldn't have but i did - i opend the message and read it. now it said stuff like "i miss you. i love you. good night.". not really incrimanating but i started to read the other messages between her and her friend. the messages said stuff like "i miss you. i love you. you're so caring and understanding. when can we try out that ky jelly? see we can both make each other happy...." blah blah blah. now to me - it seems like her friend - is more than a friend. but i have no idea what to do. should i talk to her about those messages? should i tell my dad about this? i'm 14 and the oldest of three (two little bros - ages 8 and 11) i don't want this to ruin our family but i can't go on knowing that my mom could possibly be lying to me and my dad. HELP ME PLEASE!

No. You are an adult and so is she. It is none of your business and I would caution you to stay out of it. One reason that it is worse if you intervene is that your mother has likely seen you as a threat since you were born, especially if you have had a close relationship with your father. Your father is the first guy you learn to love and sets the tone for all the guys you will love in your life after that. Your mother has often been resentful of how much your father loves you and pays attention to you when she thinks that is attention she should have been getting. Now she has an affair. Maybe it is to punish your father and maybe it is for another reason. Regardless of the reason, stay out of it.

I think my mom and brother are having an affair?

I don't know what to do. My brother has always been physically affectionate with my mom and continues to kiss her on the lips to this day (he's 21 now) - myself and my other brother stopped in middle school at the latest. He constantly comes to the house for lunch and on his days off, but only if my dad isn't there and usually early in the morning when I'm still asleep. (I woke up at 8 this morning and he was here and it seemed like he'd been here for a while). He's always calling her to do favors for him, especially ones that require her to go alone to his apartment and she'll be gone for an unnecessarily long amount of time.

This morning, I woke up to the tv on downstairs and heard my brother's and mom's voices followed by a long silence. I tried to peek downstairs to see them, but they are staying out of the way of the stairs. I tried to sneak downstairs, but the dogs barked and gave me away and I heard my mom whisper something like "I think your sister is awake" as if that meant they needed to stop doing something.

The thought disgusts me, but it would explain so much about their behavior and I just don't want for my dad to have to stay with her if she is, and I definitely don't want to live in a house with my mom if my brother has constant access to come over.

What should I do? This has been making me so anxious for months.

I think my mom is having an affair. should i tell my dad? i am 15 and im the only child. advice please?

If you suspect something, rest assured your dad does, too. After all, we know our spouses inside and out often better than they know themselves. I guarantee if something is off, dad senses a change. In her behavior, attitude, habits, patterns etc. Let adults handle adult business and just focus on keeping your grades up and your room clean. If it continues to eat at you, talk to mom. Tell her how you feel, what you suspect, and give reasons for why you feel this way. Then listen. When I am angry at my husband about something, I tend to stay away a little more or keep quiet around the house. This doesn't mean I'm cheating. Just means I'm taking some me time to clear my head. You're probably right about something being off, but might be wrong about what it is. Trust takes years to build and seconds to smash. Once trust is tainted it is hard to heal. Don't put a doubt on your dad's mind. That isn't fair to any of you.

I think my best friend and my mom are having an affair... And my mom is being secretive!!! HELP PLEASE!!?

I am a guy, and my best friend is a guy. I am 22, and he is 31.

Anyway, ever since my car accident, he and my mom (who is married, YET), talk ALOT on the phone. My mom uses the excuse they care about me, and want to see whats best for me. Well I overheard a conversation they were having on the phone last weekend (I wasn't snooping, my mom left her bedroom door open and I was cleaning my bedroom) between the two. She said something to the extent of " I dont care what (My dad) thinks, he won't find out."

I asked my mom who was on the phone, and she said her mother... Funny thing is, if you have nextel you know what I mean, my mom and best friend came up unavailable while my mom was on the phone, but the second my mom hung up my friend called me... Convenient?

My question is this... Since my mom is going to be childish about this, what do I say to my friend to get him to tell me whats up? I know I shouldnt worry but its my family were talking about here... What do I DO???!!!

I think my mom is having an affair with someone at her job?!?

I can understand that you must feel scared to hear your mom talking like that. It would be wrong if you were just listening to your mom and dad talking but you felt insecure as your mom was acting sketchy and you already had your suspicions. I am a Mom and my kids have always talked to me about anything. Granted, this is nothing I have faced but if my daughter or sons heard me talking inappropriately, I would want them to ask me about it. I wouldn't want them worrying THEMSEL sick over something about their mama. Chances are your Mom was talking to a female coworker about some creepy guy in the office. That sounds more like a comment made by a socially inept person not someone trying to get your Mom to like him. She probably thought it was creepy but was laughing with her friend about it or in my opinion, she was angry about it. She walked in the bedroom because she didn't want you to hear the words she was going to use. She was talking to a third party, not the man. Go ask her. Say, "um, Mom, I overheard you say something kinda creepy on the phone...and let her pick it up from there.

I think my mom is having an affair, do I squeal to my dad?

Good question. But, as a few other people have said, I think that, if anyone, you should tell your mom about this. You are her child, and you are part of the family happiness that she is threatening to shatter by carrying on with this under your stepdad's nose. The longer this carries on it secret, the harder it will be to dig up. There should be no need to tell your stepdad unless your mom completely brushes you off. It would be best if SHE was the one to talk to your stepdad, but if that doesn't happen, I think he does indeed have a right to know. Give your mom a try, though. She might just be willing to work something out or muster up the courage to face your stepdad...

That’s a tough one. Do you want your parents to stay together? It might be best to do nothing. Your mom knows what she’s doing. Your dad may know what your mom is doing. They may be staying together anyway to minimize disruption in your life. Having a conversation with your dad about it is a really bad idea since this is between him and your mom and they may have an illusion that you don’t know about it.You could talk to your mom about it. She may have some valuable insight. She may be horrified or offended. Sometimes people think they can do whatever they want and everybody should be OK with it. Of course that isn’t true. People have feelings and get hurt. Morality exists to minimize hurt to others. When people do immoral things (such as having an affair) it generates negative feelings, distrust, and confusion, which are not good things to have in your family.Probably the best thing for you to do is nothing. I know that’s not easy. You see something wrong, and you want to do something. You could pray for your parents and their relationship.