Why does my boyfriend put his friends before me?
My boyfriend is constantly choosing to hang out with his friends instead of me. Even when I try and make plans with him a week in advance he'll say " I don't know what I'm doing that day." Which roughly translates "I don't know what my friends are doing that day." I literally can never see the guy on his days off of work because he chooses his friends before me, the only way he'll be happy to see me is if i buy him dinner or something. I don't know what to say because everything i have tried to say just pisses him off.
What do you do if your boyfriend picks his friends over you?
Ok, like at school when I'm talking to him his friends are near and he just ditches me to be with them. It irritates me and too we have never revealed our feelings to each other but, I know he likes me because he still flirts with me just like a regular gf and bf. What shall I do? By the way we are both 15-year-olds.
My boyfriend gives his friends priority over me. What should I do?
If you’re expecting to get more attention than his friends, forget it. I’m assuming here that those are old friends of his, and likely to be with him longer than you do. You do not simply forget your friends because of your girlfriend, that’s just not how it works. What about your friends? Why don’t you go out more with them? Are you sure he is neglecting you in their favor? Or are you neglecting your friends in his favor?When in a relationship, you shouldn’t think you are owned by or own your partner. Both of you have your own lives despite of each other, and you shouldn’t let it go because of your partner. A healthy relationship should add more things to your life, not replace it entirely.What should you do? Communicating with him is the best you can do right now. Tell him how you feel, and (this is really important) ask him his version of the story. Maybe the way he sees it, he is giving equal attention to both his friends and you. For the love of whatever god you prefer, don’t people talk to their partners?Another thing you should do is ask yourself “why do I care so much about this that I am recurring to strangers in the internet for help?”. Are you jealous of him? Do you fear he will cheat on you? Most likely your problem is insecurity. In that case, I’d work on that before anything.
How come my boyfriend does things his friends ask even though I tell him not to or that I don't like it?
We have two families in our lives; the one we are born into, and the one we create as we go through life. Sometimes they mix, sometimes they don’t.Your boyfriend has bonded to his best friend. He most likely thinks of him like a brother. This bond may very well last for the rest of their lives, and only grow stronger over time. Chances are, he has been involved with this best friend for longer than he has been involved with you.So you want your boyfriend to choose between you, and his best friend. Well… I’ve gotta tell you, that’s a horrible start to your future. No one likes a control freak… ‘cept maybe a sub. Doms? Subs? Nevermind.You are asking him to choose between you and family. Are you putting out? You know… having sex? Sex can be used as a powerful manipulator, but it almost always backfires at some point in the future. If you weren’t having sex with him, you might be able to start to, and then use sex to make him stop doing those things for a SHORT while.. but more than likely, he’d just get better at keeping you from finding out about what he was doing for a while. So it would backfire, because you started putting out, and he’d still be doing what he wants to do.You could marry him. But then again, eventually you’ll find out he’s still doing what he wants.See… the thing here is… you don’t have any friggin right to try to change who he is and what he does.Let me put it to you logically. If you think you should be able to ask him to stop doing what he’s doing with his friend AND you should be able to ask him to be alright with you wanting him to stop…. then he has the SAME EXACT RIGHT to ask you to be alright with what he does with his friend.You think he should change for you? That means you should change for him. If you think he should change and not want to do those things anymore with his best friend, you should ALSO acknowledge that he should be able to expect YOU to change how you feel about what he does with his friend.You don’t know about any of that. You just want him to stop messing around with his best friend, getting in trouble, stirring shit up. Right?If you don’t accept the boyfriend you are WITH, break up with him and find a boyfriend that you WILL accept.Stop trying to date the potential you think you see in boys. Start dating the actual people.
Is it wrong to ask my boyfriend to stop talking to a female friend of his?
Yes, it is wrong.You find it wrong when she used to give massages to him in the office, or she used to hug him, Right? You may be right, they must not get that physical in front of you. But tell me does the guy love you? Really? How do you know? How can you judge him? Just because he said so? People these days don’t know the meaning of LOVE.Listen dear, this may sound rude and make you feel bad.. But just put 1 small, minute thing into your brain. When a guy says he loves you from the core of his heart, or he wants to spend the entire life with you or any of that mushy talk, you might feel that he loves you. But in reality a guy would show his love not by his words, but by his actions.If he would have loved you and cared for your feelings, he would never ever have let that girl behave like what she does in your presence or absence. If he pushes a girl away who makes such a move in your absence that is love.If you think they must not talk just because you are together now, so let me make it clear to you. You don’t own the person, nor would you ever. You can make a person yours just when he wants to be yours.If you find something inappropriate in a relation between your boyfriend and his female-friend, just make it clear to your boyfriend. If he actually loves you, he would take care of that girl, or any girl in that matter.You must not take matters into your hands by talking to that female-friend. You are simply destroying your relationship with her and breaking her heart by your cheap talks.**P.S.: I don’t want to be rude or arrogant, but I have been into the place of that female-friend and I know how it feels when we were not wrong but still some one teaches you how to behave with one of your best-friend, and how that silence of the guy breaks my heart till date. How my relation with of them is still in tatters. All three of us regret our words after about 3 years of that incident but there is no turning back now.**
How do i tell my boyfriend that i don't like PDA?
he always makes out withe me infront of teachers and parents infront of his friends and infront of my friends. and i have always have had a "good girl" reputation ii have straight A's and am saving myself for mirrage and every guy i have dated knows that. And my number one pet peve is PDA and i don't think he knows that and i want to tell him that i don't but i don't want to sound like a prude so what do i say??!!???
My boyfriend has a lot of female friends. They text him as often as I do, and it makes me jealous. They even send him selfies and want him to send selfies back. It feels like they're waiting for us to break up. How do I let go of this frustration?
In a way, this is completely normal and a scenario that happens all the time. As a guy, I can attest to the fact that, regarding attention from women, "when it rains, it pours." Basically, whenever I've been in a relationship, a ton of other women come out of the woodwork all of a sudden, and are flirtatious with me. This causes a point of friction with my girlfriend, who hates the "competition". I'll tell you a version of what I tell my girl.They aren't popping up because I woke up today and suddenly found myself richer and hotter; they only want me now because they see that someone else has me. People want what they can't have, this seemingly goes double for attraction. Any smart man understands this, and doesn't let it phase him. Moreover, being in a relationship must mean that I'm dateable and date-worthy - that is, someone finds me attractive, thus I must be! So, my social "stock" (for lack of a better term) goes up, raising my perceived "value," which raises demand even further (which raises my value even more, and on and on).What does all this nonsense mean for you? That as a smart "investor," you picked a winning stock early on, and are reaping the rewards. Does Warren Buffet get jealous when he makes a stock pick, and everyone and their dog tries to buy in as well? No, he kicks back, satisfied with his investing acumen, and (in my mind's eye) says "suck it bandwagoners!" As should you: you made a good pick, and now everyone else is trying to say "ooh I want in too!" But he's yours, and you should be a little smug instead of jealous. Confidence in your boyfriend and his fidelity is key. If you act neurotic and jealous, he'll either a) eventually get frustrated and wonder why you're so insecure (ie are you worried he'll find someone better? maybe he should?); or b) understand your insecurity, and leverage it to get his way. Either option isn't good, to put it mildly. So outflank his friends, be confident because it's sexy and self-assuredness is self-perpetuating. (It's a fine balance between arrogance and confidence, so be mindful!) His friends will smell you being the confident alpha, and know that your bond is unshakeable by those who occupy the cheap seats in the stadium. And remember: just as much as you picked him, HE picked YOU as well - not any of those other girls! So shoulders back, chest out, and eyes up…you're the alpha in the room, and never forget it.
It bothers me that my boyfriend stays out until 3AM with his friends. Am I being unfair?
Q: It bothers me that my boyfriend stays out till 3AM with his friends am I being unfair?We’ve been together for 4 yrs. My bf sometimes gets lost in a good time & stays out until 3 to drink with his buddies. It bothers me b.c even when I ask him if he could be home early it never happens. I feel like a 12AM is doable but 3? We’re 23 & 24 am I being unfair?I generally find that people who ask this type of question, “is it fair”, are not approaching their problem from a useful point of view. It usually sounds as if they are trying to get external validation for their emotions, so they can find safety in numbers and use that to “prove” to their partner that their behaviour doesn’t have societal approval. That’s not going to make anyone’s relationship better.You don’t actually give a reason for why this bothers you. You say it’s because you ask him to be home sooner but he doesn’t do it. That’s not the reason why it bothers you, that’s just additional fodder for your upset.You’re not his mother, and he’s not a minor. But you are trying to control him. That is generally not a good idea; you don’t want to set up a parental dynamic with somebody who is your equal. Why is this such a problem for you? Dig deeper, because you are not telling us the whole story, and consequently you won’t get very useful responses.Do you feel neglected? Do you have a notion that couples should do everything together? Do his friends not like you? Do you not like his friends? Do you worry that something bad happened to him if he stays out late? Do you wonder whether his outings are maybe not so innocent, and he might be stepping out on you? Does he drink and drive? Does he have a history of getting into trouble when alcohol is involved? Does he neglect his work, school, other obligations due to his late nights?
My boyfriend gives rides to his friend's girlfriend every day. Is that OK?
This is a delicate situation. My boyfriend keeps giving rides to this girl, his friend's girlfriend almost every day and it's really bothering me first because he didn't tell me about it in the beginning, and second because before he was always telling me how I should be more like her, and she's so great etc so that made me feel really insecure. I feel like he likes her more than me but can't be with her because she's his friend's girlfriend. She's actually a nice person but I just can't help the way I feel about that. I know I'm maybe too jealous, so he tells me but I can't help it. He knows I don't like him giving her rides all the time but he still does it, he even gives her his car while he's at work. He says he will do it no matter how I feel about it and what I say. Am I overreacting? Should I blame him for making me feel insecure about myself?
Is it okay when my boyfriend prioritize his guy friends instead of me? I told him before though, that it's okay with me because friends last forever and girls do come and go. When we have plans and his friends invite him on something. He would choose the latter and I kind of feel jealous.
I have been in a relationship with a guy like this and in my experience... LEAVE. NOW. I said the same thing, ‘I understand that friends come first, mine come first for me too, ‘ which I found to be kind of a natural thing when you're casually dating someone. However, once you’ve both agreed to become a couple his priorities should start changing. Certainly, they'll change once the two of you move in together, right? Definitely will change when you tell him IT NEEDS TO CHANGE NOW OR I WALK... So, you wait around a while, believe all the lies (just not a good time right now, I don't want to do this at a big party, they didn't answer..) until one day you look at your calendar and think holy shit! that was XYZ months ago and he's done nothing I said I needed him to do. You deserve better. You deserve a partner who will consider your needs alongside his. Yes, emergencies happen and sometimes ya gotta go but honey, a relationship is meant to be two people. You should never have to beg your partner to pay attention to you. That isnt just rude its neglect and it hurts so bad. Tell him you don't you understand things come up but it isn't fair that its always you he's ditching. You're supposed to be a priority too. NO SELF RESPECTING MAN WOULD EVER LET HIS WOMAN DEGRADE HERSELF THIS WAY. You shouldn't doubt that your partner loves you and wants to have a future with you. It is not your responsibility to show your partner that you're worthy of their love, you should not have to ask for basic respect. I asked over and over again for him to take a break from his friends and he would promise me that he would and things will get better, he's going to change… they would change for a day, maybe two when I'd tell him I want out. At some point, you need to ask yourself what you're fighting for? A year and a half together going down the drain because his friends (mostly all 10+ years my senior) just couldn't keep my name out of their mouths. Please stop disrespecting yourself by allowing this boy to walk all over you. He doesn't deserve your love or attention.