My dad is homeless, he might be on drugs. I want to help him but would it be a bad idea to send him money?
Dont enable him. To get someone off drugs first thing is to remove him from his comfort zone. Tell him you want him to come live with you. This takes away all his connections that he can buy shit from. This move also gives you a new level of security because you can watch over him. Be prepared for the first week to be really ugly. He is coming down and will go thru both emotional and physical detox. Love him and forgive him. As he turns the corner and starts to come back to sober living pay even more attention to his needs. In his mind he has made the greatest Sacrifice possible. During the next two weeks keep him occupied and if he slips up and says inappropriate or does inappropriate things forgive him. Be stern but loveable. Now he is in the psychological stage of recovery. He is over the physical side of addiction. Watch out for things like mispent money and voids of time. Once again offer better more consructive ways of living. It is now that a truly addictive personality will be looking for a substitution with what kinds of addictive things are available in his new comfort zone. Once again a firm yet unyielding hand is required to keep him headed in the right direction. Once he starts conquering his own mountains and receiving praise from outside sources you can take a breath and begin to pat yourself on the back. Not too many times because you have to be vigilant forever for the addiction signs nut you have done your job and went above and beyond what 98% of society would have done
I want my mom to divorce my step dad really bad?
Please take time to read all of this, i need help. hi, im danielle. im 14 and my mom is an alcoholic. My dad is an alcoholic too. my parents divorced when i was 3 years old. my mom got custody of me, and my dad got custody of my 2 older brothers. my dad took my brothers and moved out of state. a year later my mom meets a loser in the bar named steven. i didnt like him even when i was little. he's a really bad alcoholic. him and my mom drink every single night. he pretty much controls my mom's life. we have 1 vehicle, and its a stick shift so my mom cant drive it. all he does is yell. he yells over EVERYTHING. he yells at me, my mom, his daughter, his son, the cat, anything that moves he'll yell at it. he has these huge-*** speakers in the living room (like right outside my room) and every other night he BLASTS music until freaking 11 or 12 at night. and when i ask him to turn it down cuz im going to sleep he'll turn it down just a tiny bit. so then i get like no sleep and suffer the whole day at school. i spend half of the time with my grandma, because she knows whats going on so she tries to take me out of it as much as possible. but i cry everytime i have to go back home. i hate it! and my mom wont even listen to me when i try to talk to her about it. she defends him no matter what. she's miserable too though. she lets him screme at me, she doesn't defend me at all! but the thing that makes me the most upset is that i never ever get any time with her anymore. steven has to have her full attention ALL the time. he kicked michelle out (his own daughter) so now im stuck with nobody. i have nobody to talk to now. and then it makes my grandma upset because i come to her house and spill my guts to her about mom and steven. im just tired of it all. i hate coming home from school. i actually TRY to get detentions so i dont have to go home. my question is how can i convince my mom that im absolutely miserable? she wont listen to me
I want to punch my dad in the face so badly?
You have the choice to act more mature and civilized or be just like your father. When he creates a problem, simply pick up the phone and dial 911 and report a domestic disturbance. Let the police handle the problem, that is their job, and your father will learn he can't act the way he does without reprecussions. From your description of your reactions, he has taught you to be a horrible person too. You need to re-evaluate whether acting just like your father is where you want to be. rc
I want a kitten so bad!! But my dad hates cats.?
I'm really sorry about your health problems, and sorry that your dad feels this way . But if your dad HATES cats please do not ask for a kitten. If your dad gives in and allows you to get a kitten because he is temporarily influenced by you saying it will help you be happy, it's almost certain that eventually -- like the first time the kitten does something to annoy him -- his hatred of cats will take over and it will end up with him giving this kitten away like you said he did with all your other cats. The cat might end up in a bad place and your depression and anxiety won't be helped by worrying about and missing him/her. It's good that YOU are a responsible pet owner. but that's not enough if your father has control over what pets you get to keep, and he has a habit of giving them away. When you are able to move out on your own then you can get a cat and take good care of it and keep it for its whole life.
Help! I want a cat but my Dad is allergic to cats and dogs!?
You can have a cat when you move out. Why make your dad suffer? Why don't you get a parrot or a fish?
Should I beat up my dad? You have no idea how much I want to.
Absolutely not. I am speaking from the perspective of a person who had to make that choice a number of years ago based on a very bad family situation where I truly felt he deserved it.If you take action because you can not control yourself and are overly angry about things and you decide to use violence, you will pay dearly. Almost certainly law enforcement/social services will get involved and you won't like the things that follow.If you want to beat him up because of really bad things he is doing or has done, you are not going to help the situation by beating him up, it will only make it more complicated. Instead, resolve that you are going to be absolutely sure you break up the cycle and don't end up like him. Your first step can be to show yourself you are capable of the self control needed to step back and wait the couple of years it will take to be an adult on your own where you can continue to grow and make sure you are a better person. If the anger is continually at the boiling point where you are afraid you might lose control, find a trusted (calm-natured) friend, high school guidance counselor or other adult you can trust to remain confidential, vent to that person to help talk you down. No matter what, if you get physical and in a fight with your dad, it is not going to end or solve the problem, it almost certainly will make it worse.
Is it bad that I want to kill my real father?
i think alot of people think about killing their dads…my dad is a trash that ive been wanting to kill for over a decade. he is a gambling addict since i was 13 and he has cause pain and grief for 15 years. when i 16 my parents bought me a used car for my birthday and i was so happy but within a year it was repoed cause my dad gambled away my family savings. when i turned 19 i moved out and was so happy and relived to rid of this fool but even after i moved out i couldnt show my face to people i know because he was going around borrowing money from family friends…and the funny part is he is going around saying that he was helping me pay for my tuition…..he doesnt even know what university and when my mom and i refuse to pay his dept he goes on anger rampage…he is a fukin joke and trash as a father. up to date he has borrowed and blown over 500 grand and god know how much of the family money he has blown….keeping up with his dept our family had to sell our business and file for bankrupsy cause we couldnt pay off the inventory cost of the business. i have thought about poisoning him or strangling him in his sleep…and even thought about taking my gun and blowing is empty brains all over the place. but i come to realization that i will go to jail if i kill him…i cant let him steal another 25 years of my life when he has already ruined 26 of it. then again i live in detroit so i guess i can find someone to do it
Is it wrong to not want to forgive my dad for all the bad things he's done?
Forgiveness is a very difficult thing to do. It's just too hard to let go of injustices (real and perceived) and move on but it's also a part of growing up. Like growing up emotionally.I don't know how old you are and what has happened to make u feel this way so I can only tell you that you do not forgive a person for them. It's not like you are letting them off easy. Forgiveness is for yourself. It mean u relinquish the control the individual has on you emotionally by making u feel small or unloved or unwanted. Forgiveness is telling yourself that you can heal on your own and do not have to carry around the weight of the emotions that were put on you by another person.Forgiving parents is much much harder. I mean they are there to love you unconditionally and care for your well being. It's an emotional disaster when u feel that your needs are not being met.At such a time, ask your self what are you really mad at? My son is furious at me when I wake him up in the morning or when he is hungry. That is transient and not worth even being mad about. He forgets that in 5 minutes. However, if there is serious emotional injury then,A) Try and look at it from their perspective. Maybe he was going through a rough patch or did not have enough money. Again depending on your age (if you are over 30 years), think of your father’s upbringing. Maybe he had to make do with very little in his childhood and expects the same out of you. This will make you understand and once you understand, it's easier to forgive.B). If the reasons are non of the above then too try and forgive. Not for his sake but for your own. It will bring you great peace.
Is it bad if I barely communicate with my dad?
I live with my mom and I feel kinda bad for not talking to my dad much. I was staying with him for a couple of months and he would basically treat me like a secretary and told me i needed to be on top of all the payments he needs to make. He would give me all his cards and make me call and help him make his payments even though he already knows how to. Now I'm back with my mom and he kept calling and messaging me and it turned out to only be because he wanted me to help make his payments again even though he can do it himself... We honestly aren't good at communicating either are conversations usually go "hey how are you" "good and you" "good" and that's it. He called a couple days ago and I ignored it and haven't called back. Should I feel bad? Should I force myself to reply? I'm honestly not good at communicating with people unless it's my mom or best friend so..?
Why does my dad treat me so bad?
im 18 my dad is 50 years old, since I was 10 he has been treating me so badly and I cant understand why. he has always disrespected me he complains about everything I do basically all I do is wrong the smallest most insignificant thing he complains about it I feel like he doesn't care about me like im the greatest mistake he has ever made, one day he's going to have a heart attack, I mean literally for the past 8 years of my life he has been so mad. I cant seem to find out why, my parents aren't divorced we don't have anything to worry in our family all is alright and they are very happy together. im his only child and everytime he says something bad to me I just shut up and take it I do not complain because any day anything could happen to him and I don't want the last words that we had together to be a stupid argument, I do my best to be a good son I don't smoke, drink or go out a lot im focused on school and being a good person, I treat my parents very good but I think my dad just doesn't care about me he treats everyone else much better , I don't know why this is happening to me I never saw myself like this , he has never ever said that he loves me, now that years have gone by I just feel that having him in my life has not helped me or made my life better in any way he's just there to be the biggest asshole everytime every single time he talks to me is to make feel bad about myself or disrespect me. does this happen to any of you guys , what should I ?? should I just move out of my house??