My Boss is creeping me out. He's always talking dirty, asking me to go to his house and wants to take me out..?
What's the big deal...I suggest that you go out with him, give him what he wants, and then you will be guarenteed a raise.
How to deal with a coward bully in the workplace?
There is a guy at work who attempts to make jabs at me and make me look bad to my peers in general. Because it is a professional work environment I don't confront him. I have asked him to lay off , but this seems to embolden him (as he gets a reaction). His bullying ways seem to be confined to the relative safety of the workplace. Just the other night I happen to see him at a restaurant I was at. I purposely sat next to him and stared at him. He never once looked up at me and avoided even looking in my direction. I saw him going to restroom so I followed him and he saw me and turned back to the table. (I was going to ask him man to man in the restroom what the hell his problem at work was) How do you deal with a coward like this who knows when to take jabs when he is in the "safe zone" and then wont allow a man to man discussion. (ignoring s no option, as he has made up damaging lies in order to attempt to make me lose job)
How can I deal with a demanding / controlling / bullying boss?
My first teaching job--when I was in my middle 30's, I had a very authoritarian principal. To compound the problem, it was only a 7 room school!!! She was CONSTANTLY stalking into the classroom and in the middle of a class, make me defend what I was teaching/doing!! I had a very large class of Kindergartners who'd never before had any preschool experience. For one of the first times, I had them ALL quiet and listening while I worked giant puppets I'd made. The Principal stalked in to the room; I stood up and she grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me until my head bounced around!! She became aware that the little kids were staring in disbelief and she said, "Mrs. B___ will do this to YOU when you misbehave!!" I checked with my friend, the new 5th Grade teacher, and found out she'd done the same to her--right in the middle of class!!---We both were exhausted with her interruptions! I finally realized that since this was the Principal's first year at this, she was probably scared that her supervisor would check on her, etc. SO, my friend and I cooked up plans to begin reassuring her that she was really HELPING US!! E.g., "Oh, I tried your suggestion re _______ and it really worked well! Thank you!" etc.etc. We kept this up and before long, the Principal was doing less and less of her controlling visits. But it took a great deal of self-control for us to maintain this subservient attitude. ---It all depends upon whether the boss is controlling because s/he is afraid for his own job--or, just because he feels superior and loves to lord it over everyone. Since he enjoys scaring people, pretend that you are NOT afraid or intimidated, but appreciate his "suggestions"! (If you can grit your teeth tight enough!) Meanwhile, if it's intolerable, start looking for another job!! It's not worth damaging your mental health by staying!
I walked in on my boss and a co-worker, now he’s offering me money to stay quiet, should I take the money or tell his wife?
You have to quit as soon as possible. There is no good outcome for you where you are now and the longer you wait to quit the more you put yourself at risk. Start looking for a new job as soon as possible. Get out. Yesterday.As others have said, taking money from your boss makes you part of a criminal conspiracy. You can’t do that.Telling the wife makes you not only a snitch about something that’s not your business but it sets your boss up as your enemy for life.Staying there and doing nothing, pretending it didn’t happen just makes your boss fear and resent you. He *will* undermine you and damage your reputation to innocculate himself against anything you might say later. He will also start undermining your reputation RIGHT NOW which will hurt your career later.You MUST get out while your reputation is still intact and go somewhere and earn your reputation again because he is going to be like an enemy sleeper cell destroying you in the background for the rest of your career. You can never depend on a recommendation from him. You have him at a disadvantage and he won’t be able to tolerate that. He has to work to undermine you.What about the other party? How do they figure into this? They also have something to lose. They may also work against you and you need to be aware of how this might come around also.If you are involved or married you need to lay this all out to your partner so there is no misunderstanding from rumor, innuendo and gossip later. If the boss and his paramour set out to destroy your life or damage your reputation your significant other is collateral damage.Remember: Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
If my boss asks me to resign because he doesn't believe I'm the right fit and gives me a one-month notice, does it mean he fired me?
I am not in the US. The country I’m in doesn’t give unemployment benefits and the company where I work isn’t obliged to give a severance package. They give a month’s notice prior to termination if the staff isn’t working out. The staff can try to transfer to another department if it offers a better fit, but the transfer might be blocked if the staff actually has more problems than just job fit. The staff is also free to resign during that month if he has secured another job.Jobs evolve, so wrong fit may also imply skills obsolescence. We recently let go a large number of staff because their department closed down and the skills most of them had were not relevant to the rest of the company. Only about a quarter of them secured a transfer because their skills could be applied to other jobs.Your boss is terminating you. It’s up to you to determine if resignation or termination is more advantageous to you, and if you have any grounds to fight this termination. If your boss has already warned or counselled you before for lacklustre performance and you have tried your best but still can’t do any better, then bite the bullet and leave. Negotiate for severance if you can, but don’t do so if your poor work has already cost your company clients and profit. Our department was once investigated by the labour ministry because a staff with exceedingly poor performance reported our supervisor for giving her an “unfairly” bad review. We had to provide the mountain of evidence against her. If I had had the choice, I would have suggested she resign. She was really “wrong fit” because she was poorly educated, poorly motivated, and absolutely delusional regarding her work performance. The boss kept her on out of pity. A couple of years later, she was swept up in a companywide tide of retrenchments to clear the “deadwood”. At least the union was involved and she received a severance package.
How can I politely ask my colleague to be quieter and to stop yawning out loud at the office?
I like your question. I do not know what relationship you have with your colleague. So my answer might be too vague for you. I would also consider asking yourself, why that bothers you so much. That answer alone could lead you to a solution.So depending on your relationship - it can be a serious approach or light hearted. BUT ALWAYS point out what is in it for him. Do not make it about you. In reality, you are the one with the issue (don’t like his yawns) and you want him to change (stop yawning loud)First, find what motivates him, and then use that to bring it to his attention.I am assuming you know why he is yawning already. (Boredom, stress or he is sick and doesn’t get enough sleep, etc)For example, let’s say he wants to be promoted and perceived as professional.So you would say in your style - I’ve been sitting next to you and I am really sorry I never told you this, because I know you want to advance and be perceived a certain way, I’ve got a nugget for you…. and lay it down.Another example, let’s say he is bored. “Everyone hears your boredom. Is there anything I can do to help with the monotony?” It’s lighthearted but it opens a door for a conversation. Or, “If the boss hears your yawns he might give you more work, is that what you want?” :) “How many flies did you catch today with that?” (that is what I would say to my peer. LOL)
New boss wears WAY too much cologne! What to do?
We've just hired a new supervisor and he wears so much cologne that our eyes water and it's difficult to breathe around him. Some co-workers are even getting terrible head-aches. Closed door meetings are absolutely unbearable. As I said, he is a new hire. We all like him and no one wants to hurt his feelings or make him feel un-welcome but something HAS to be said or done. Any ideas?