Should I stop pretending that Im ok and happy?
If pretending to be happy and Okay is a coping tool you use to keep yourself going. That's not a bad thing. Its strength. Its a way for you to keep moving during a difficult time. That's better than breaking down and shutting down. But if you're suppressing your emotions and becoming repressed that's a real issue and that will make you break down. So You've succeeded in finding a coping tool to keep you moving but you haven't found a healthy way to let your negative emotions play out in a healthy way. This isn't so much a problem, but its really a learning experience that is really important for teenagers to understand. 8 years ago when I was in high school, I really thought feelings, emotions were a real problem. But it was actually a learning experience. There is no class teaching good mental hygiene. Part of good mental hygiene is learning a good relationship between yourself and all your emotions. You don't have to fear sadness, anger, depression, anxiety. These are natural and your emotions. They're good indicators about what's going on and what you need to do. Since energy can't be destroyed you really do need to learn how to experience these things without letting it control you or letting your thoughts run wild. Maybe instead of pretending you can put a positive spin on any situation. Treat everything like an opportunity. Don't ignore the bad stuff. You need to address it. Problem-solve how to fix things or accept things. Tip: never make a decision when you don't feel calm. When you don't feel calm just tak some time to get yourself grounded.
Is it ok to pretend to be someone else in your head?
I was wondering whether people think it's normal to pretend to be someone else then who they are in your head. When I was little I used to play games by myself like every other child(playing made up games where I was the mummy and my dolls were the babies) but to be honest I am now 17 and still haven't stopped 'playing' (although without the dolls.) I pretend to be all kinds of people teenage mothers, nannies, made up celebrities... I spend a lot of time pretending to be a woman who I made up called 'Rita Watson' she is who I want to be, she is a beautiful black woman who is married with 2 children and is a grammy award winning singer and an oscar winning actress. I don't whether I fantisises to be these people because I am unhappy as me? I am not particularly happy, my friends aren't really my friends and school is really stressful and my parents expect so much from me that I know I will never be able to live up to their expectations. I am white but I wish I could be black, I think black people are goregeous and the colour of their skin is beautiful. Every time I pretend to be someone else I pretend to be black. I don't understand why I do it and I can't stop it. Everything I do I pretend to be someone else. Please give me any advice you might have I am in need of some opinions.
Why do people pretend to be someone they're not?
We are born into a world of comparisons, conformists and trends and "rebellious", "unique", "special" people; the first 3 points being more accepted and easily referenced as compared to the last 3 points."People always tend to be someone else" because we seek acknowledgement, acceptance and understanding. To get these, we learn/ copy from others and present ourselves to be seen as part of the accepted society.We "imitate someone's style, accent, postures, habits, profession" because of many reasons. 1)We find ourselves intrigued by them. We do not understand the way they behave, therefore we imitate to learn for ourselves the appeal of such behaviour, by presenting ourselves with said imitated behaviour to a/the crowd of people with which we comfortable with, then observing their reaction to said behaviour.2)Psychologically, we do this to become closer to said stranger, to appeal to the other person psychologically, to show that we are friendly and that we would like to be friends.(don't quote me here, the idea is there but my phrasing could be wrong)3)We feel that the fastest way to be like someone is to simply Be That Someone. For example, if you would like to be an athlete, through this method, you would observe the way several athlete's behave, and thus copy the way they think, feel, speak, live, in an effort to forcefully "inject" the qualities that makes a person an athlete INTO themselves, thus becoming an athlete themselves.Yes, it is "possible to be ourselves". This is not a general answer, seeing as that would defeat the purpose of individuality, but rather a personal answer. I become myself through intense self-reflection. I observe and test myself and the surrounding elements to see for myself my true strengths and weaknesses. At the same time, I consistently ask/survey myself on how i feel about what I am about to do, what I just did and what I am doing. Through a separate perspective, I collect my "personal survey data" and go through for any consistencies and any abnormalities, then I apply changes to my personality and character before repeating the process to observe my "updated" performance.(sounds very computer-y, I know, but I'm comfortable with the pace and the way I'm learning so I'm gonna just keep going until I Have to change)
Why do people pretend or act extremely happy when they are actually sad or depressed?
When I first slipped into depression, I didn't realize it. I never thought I would be one to have depression. I had no idea.A little while later, I began having panic attacks, thoughts of suicide etc. This was when I began noticing what was going on. For every moment I cried alone, there was a moment I spent laughing my head off and joking around. I didn't want anyone to know, which is why I acted opposite of my feelings. Many of my "friends" thought I was acting "fake" because of how I always seemed positive. But at the same time, I rejected their invitations to hang out or party. I wanted solitude, I didn't like being around others anymore, I looked forward to going home and sleeping.About a year later, I pledged to change my life. I promised I would really become positive. Instead of finding flaws in life, I focused on the beauty. I am proud to say, I am about 90% free of this life, once in awhile I still have my down days, but other than that...I truly enjoy life.However, I realize there is another "category/coping" people have. My best friend became depressed, she was living an unhappy, stressful lifestyle. There was a lot of self mutilation in her case. One day, she finally told me. I told her my story, and we promised to support each other. I encouraged her to tell others. Now, she is still clinically depressed but more open. Many people around her didn't take it the right way. Her own family thought it was a stunt for attention.To this day, she still struggles which is one of the most painful feelings ever.There is one thing I noticed, the moment I finally picked myself up and fought against negativity it changed me for the better.So, answering the main question is simple terms: I faked happiness during my battle to conceal my emotions so no one would know. I didn't want anyone to get hurt.
I always pretend to be someone else? Is it a problem?
You have found a harmless temporary escape from your realities at home. It would help if you make friends. It isn't good to spend that much time alone. Have you thought of joining a club in school. I am sorry for the emotional and verbal abuse that you are experiencing at home. Your school counselor is trained to help you why don't you talk to her.
Do girls pretend they don't want to have a boyfriend?
but really desperately want one more then anything? Are women not genetically programmed for seeking a relationship above all else? what happens if you pretend something really well for a long enough time? which boat are you in huh?
Why some people pretend to be happy?
It’s your birthday. Your mother bought you a bicycle but you wanted a PS4. You show that you are happy so that she doesn’t feel bad about it.You love a girl, she doesn’t love you back but wants to remain your best friend. She likes a guy. Because you love her, you pretend you are happy for her.You are in a hostel. You don’t have much money and your parents are financially unstable. Your mother asks you is she could do anything for you. You reply that you are comfortable.You are an introvert. You don’t share emotions easily. You always reply I am fine.Your mother hasn’t eaten any food. She feeds you instead. She gives you a fake smile saying that she has already eaten and isn’t hungry.You got rejected by your crush/ your gf broke up with you. You are strong, and don’t want your family to see you in trouble. You fake it.Your are tired from work. Your child wants to go to the park. You really don’t want to go but for his happiness, you go there.You are really sad at something. But you don’t have any friends to share your feelings . You give false impression of being happy.What am I trying to say here? People pretend they are happy due to numerous reasons. They may be breaking from the inside, but they won’t tell you. They don’t want people around them to be sad because of them.One thing to be noted here is that such people are really brave. Hiding your emotions is not easy. We should give special attention to such people, because these people are either self centred or very benevolent. They do so much for others, and I think they deserve something in return.As for introverts, they also need friends. One should always help them. It isn’t their fault, they are made like that. They like to be alone. And I think we should leave them/ help them according to the situation.~ From a guy who normally doesn’t write these kind of answers.
How do you know when someone really loves you?
Love..!! If you search the meaning in dictionary, it simply says " A strong feeling of affection." But the real meaning hidden in it is even deeper than the deepest things one can ever imagine..and also the most beautiful thing one can ever have.. Ofcourse a real love’s true example is the love you get from your family. But if the concern is someone else how can we know a love is real or not??? Honey!!..no dictionary can give you this answer, except your "Heart". A Love is real when, * He/she is the first and last thought comes to your mind after you are awake or before you sleep. This shows the impact his love made in your life,,that you are happy. * When he/she is worried about your cold and scolds for your carelessness regarding health. * When he/she manages time for you even from a very busy schedule. * When he/she decides to focus only on studies till the exams, and stop talking to you for few days..but the very next morning its his/her message..."I miss you :-(". * When your smile makes his day, your voice once a day becomes his need and makes him feel lost when missed even for a day. * When you are sad, and pretend to be ok but he could mark it just listening to your made up chilled voice. * When he/she knows that you are not ready for a relationship or already into it with someone else,but still loves you, waits for you whether it is 1year or 9 years (yes they exist). * When he/she motivates you just to see you getting all success and fame. * When he knows that already he is friendzoned by you, but still dropping you home late at night is taken as his responsibility...that is a real love. * When he apolozises for a little touch mistakenly made by his little finger to yours finger without your permission.* When he keeps you at safe side of the road and puts himself in the vehicle side assuring your safety. * When " I love you" from your voice gives him goosebumps and an excitement to jump on the bed and dance and also the recording of it becomes his favourite audio on phone. This is real love to me. And if you ever find such love, never let him/her go. Because, " Love is the most beautiful thing to have, hardest thing to earn and most hurtful thing to lose".
Okay im really scared to go to school tomorrow..should i go yes or no(please click ill tell you why im scared)?
im scared because im kinda new to the school (i only know people who used to be my freinds but now they hate me LITERALLY FOR NO reason! they pretend they like me and then they talk bad about me behind my back) and i ALWAYS sit in lunch alone but i have my cell phone so i would always call someone during lunch and sit alone but now my phones suspended and i dont want to go to school.... my mom says i have to go because i missed Monday (because i missed the bus) like i swear ill go everyday after today i just REALLY dont want to go tomorrow because ill know ill be moppy and down in the dumps...(i think my periods coming im being soo dramatic i just CANT control it) should i go to school? i want to go cause i dont want to disobey my mom by not going i HATE doing things to upset her...but at the same time im not doing anything too bad by staying so she'll get over it...what should i do?!! if you were in my situation would you stay? or just go to school?