Im Having A Hard Time Understanding What Paradox Im A Freshman And Am Needing Someone To Break It

I'm having a hard time learning programming, but not the language (which is going fine). How can I fix that and actually use the knowledge I already have (know what to do with it)?

I don't think you're missing anything; I think there's just a fundamental issue with the way that the programming is being taught.It's great to be able to do doubly-linked lists and whatnot, because they're cool puzzles to solve. But I rarely see those things actually used in day-to-day programming. The benefit of learning them is that for one, you might end up using them, and two, they teach you fundamental principles but that's it.I had the benefit (or, what I see as the benefit) of learning JavaScript as my first "programming" language; the reason I say it was a benefit is because in web development, you can get up and running and build something pretty easily and pretty quickly. I thought of a website I wanted to build, and I went out and built it. When I came up against a problem that I needed to solve, I would look up answers to it (Google is your friend). I didn't spend 6 months learning all about how Chrome's JavaScript engine works, or learning about how to polyfill the Array.prototype.forEach method. I just started building stuff.(However, yes, along the way I can see times where it would've been beneficial for me to sort of have a deeper understanding of some of the principles involved, but only to the extent that they would be applicable to the problem I was trying to solve.)You're right, on just a basic level, there's almost no use for something like a doubly-linked list all by its lonesome. So what are you using Java for? Well, there's absolutely not point to Java (or C++, or Ruby, or Python) if you don't use it for anything... It's simply a tool. You can sit around all day implementing doubly-linked lists, or you can think of something to build, and build it. It's that simple. If you don't have anything to build, Java as a tool is useless. You can have all the knowledge in the world about polymorphism and inheritance, but that's just theory, not application.So to answer your question: think of something you want to build that's useful in some way, and build it.Kind of as a side story, the first non-web programming language I learned was Ruby. And that was only because the syntax felt intuitive and clean, and I had an idea for a tool I wanted to build (it is actually a command line interface tool, called ngi (joshbeam/angular_init). If I didn't need to build that tool, I would have had almost no reason whatsoever to learn Ruby. Same with any other programming language; it's a tool for something.

I'm having a hard time accepting my ex broke up with me. I keep thinking he'll change his mind. How can I get over this idea?

This is a tough question to answer. It seems as though you wanted the relationship to progress to the next level, and there’s nothing wrong with that—we all want to know that we have a future with our partners, and absent signs of progress, you feel like you’re spinning your wheels. Moving in together is typically what most couples do, or they get married and then move in together. In my world (academia), it’s typical to marry but live apart, because couples are usually tenured at different universities.What concerns me about this is that your boyfriend told you that you want “different things”. To me, that’s a generic cop-out. He should be able to clearly elucidate the problems without resorting to something so vague, which leaves you with poor understanding of what’s going on. Is he independent, or is he commitment-phobic?The question you probably have is this: “Is he this way with me, or would it be different with another woman?” You just cannot know. Look, I don’t want to give you false hope. I’ve had exes from my university days slink back and tell me that I was the best thing that happened to them, but they just didn’t know it.My advice is to back away quickly and proceed to execute complete silence and No Contact. It’s hard, I know. This blows, I know. But there’s clearly more going on in his mind and in his heart than you know. Good luck and ::hugs::.

I have trouble retaining information and remembering things. What should I do?

There are quite a few books (an entire industry, even) devoted to the art of memory, how it works, why we remember things, etc.  I would say the best place to start would be there.  (Book suggestions: Moonwalking with Einstein, to get your mental juices flowing.  Then read The Memory Book.)I can tell you that the biggest reason people "forget" things is because they don't orient the memory in their mental fortress.  Think of your brain as a massive filing cabinet, and every piece of information as a piece of paper.  Well if you learn something (a piece of paper) and you don't orient the information (put the piece of paper in its proper folder in your filing cabinet) then how are you supposed to know where to look when you need it later?  Most of us learn things and then just throw the information in an easy "junk drawer" assuming we'll remember it later.  That's not how it works.This is why people use things called mnemonic devices.  They are tricks (usually silly or outlandish) that help us orient information based on other things we know very, very well.  For example: In college, when I was struggling to remember all the different types of bacteria found in the sea, I made up a rhyming song.  Why?  Rhyming words are easier to recall (as one triggers the next), and melodies are easy to recall.Second example: Let's say you meet a guy at your local coffee shop named Pete.  Pete is wearing a green shirt when you meet him.  But you doubt you'll see Pete again in the next week or so because you're going out of town, but Pete is very cute and you want to remember his name so that when you DO see him again, you will be able to address him appropriately—hopefully prompting a date.  How are you going to remember Pete's name?  Pete is wearing a green shirt.  Pete and green are slant rhymes.  When you see his face, you will think of green.  And when you think of green, you will remember his green shirt.  And when you see that green shirt in your mind, you will know that his name rhymes with green.  Pete.This might sound like a lot of work, and at first it is, but these processes become streamlined the more you use them.  The mind is a muscle and it must be worked.  Pick up a few memory books, learn how you best remember things (I personally thrive with rhymes, colors, and melodies), and then start applying every chance you get.  We weren't all born geniuses.  The rest of us have to play silly mind games to remember even the most simple details.

I have to study but I'm having a hard time just getting started with sitting and opening the book. How can I be productive?

In this case I would first figure out the exact thing(s) that is acting as a barrier to sitting down and studying. As a kid I loved to look at pictures in a book rather than reading the book, and if there were no pictures then to me that book is boring to even open. (Some books are quite boring I must admit). Additionally reading was not my favourite past time or interest because I had this feeling that someone was telling me their mind or ideas without letting me talk or express mine to them. Again I could not read fast and understand well at the same time. (Some books are tough to study). It could be compared to having to sit down and listen to a boring talk that could last for days, and not just that but accepting the message and preparing to answer questions about it. Really?Anyways I came up with the technique of discussing about the book before opening it. I would ask questions like what am I supposed to learn from this book? What is the writer talking about? What do they intend for me to know? Why do I need to know this? How can I merge this writers ideas with mine in such a way that I can explain it to another person in my own words? From these questions and discussions in my head I would imagine how smarter I would become after studying and understanding that subject. I would also think of how or where I could 'show off' my intelligence. This 'hunger' to understand the writer(s) of this book will motivate me to study it with the help of other books or other people if need be. Whoa! This makes me want to study something new now....In summary therefore, ask yourself questions that would make studying interesting and rewarding enough for you such that you can study laying down, sitting down, standing up or even walking. Enjoy!

I think I'm transgender, what do I do? I'm very scared.

Ok, I'm not sure my opinion is common here. I'm totally straight and let me tell you, there's nothing wrong with being trans. I grew up a little bigoted and homophobic because I didn't know better. Until I found out my older brother was gay. I loved the guy and it made me change my whole perspective on life. My brother started to become more open about this and brought around someone who was a bit like you. His name was Eric and he always knew that he wasn't really like all the other hillbillies he knew. He definitely liked boys, but there was a lot of appeal in female fashion and magazines, but he didn't know he was trans. We grew up in the kind of town where that wasn't a thing. Little by little his voice changed, his hair grew out, and he began dressing a little more unisex. Different from the kind of gay I knew from my brother and his boyfriends, but I really liked Eric. He was the one friend who kept coming back and taking the time to get to know me. Which is why it was really hard to see him begin to fade when his family really wasn't accepting of who he, excuse me, she was. Eric became Emily, but his mom refused to acknowledge it. I thought this is what you might be afraid of, the lack of acceptance. Let me tell you what happens next. We basically adopted her. I consider her my sister and one of the greatest people to have ever walked into my life. She didn't know it when she was just gay Eric, but it was always there. It's normal. People don't fully understand that we are all unique and you can't just assume that a penis means you're a man for life. If being trans is what you want, I implore you to embrace it. If people don't accept that, they're not the people you need. Even your family. Look for new family like Eric did, because I guarantee you that there are people who will love you for who you are and don't think it's weird. It's part of life.

What's the dumbest thing you've heard a defendant say in the courtroom?

In Washington State there is no excuse for speeding in a school zone unless you are a police officer or an ambulance.In other words, the court can’t be lenient—even if you say you were on the way to a hospital with a pregnant wife, or someone was bleeding to death in your car. You simply must pay the fine. The judge has no discretion.I went to court because they had a picture of the back of my van going through a school zone doing 28. The speed limit was 20.The judge divided the room into two groups: People who were claiming they weren’t driving, and people who were driving but had an excuse.The judge gave his speech about how he couldn’t be lenient and if you were driving you *had* to pay the fine. No excuses or exceptions. He told the group that was driving but had an excuse they should simply leave and pay the court clerk, but they had a right to be heard so they could stay and ‘fight it’ if they wanted.I heard every excuse in the book. And boy….were they stupid.Someone claimed they were only doing 5 over and that wasn’t fast enough to ‘count’. Guilty.Someone pretended to be a physics professor. Guilty.One claimed the state had no authority. Guilty.A man said the sun blocked his visibility of the sign. Guilty.A woman said she was going to the hospital for an emergency. Guilty.One woman said she had recently had neck surgery and couldn’t turn her head to look at the sign. Guilty. She was ordered to pay the fine and the judge told her she should consider not driving until the injury was healed.A man said he couldn’t see the sign. The city attorney showed evidence the sign was clearly visible and had flashing lights. Guilty.Someone claimed the sign was improperly displayed. Guilty.Someone claimed they had the right to face their accuser and that he didn’t see the traffic camera/radar detector in the courtroom. Guilty.Then those who weren’t driving were called up.The lady before me swore she wasn’t driving. She had been at a party and most of the cars were blocked in. A friend named Bob (whom she hadn’t seen in 15 years) needed to ‘go for smokes’ and borrowed her car. The judge asked for Bob’s last name and her reply was that *he* had gotten remarried and she didn’t know his last name. …wait a sec…? What did she just say? Ticket dismissed. Wait…what did the judge just say?