Is He The Father What Do You Think

Do you think being a father is more difficult than being a mother?

I think both are equally difficult, both have different responsibilities and expectations from their children which they must satisfy. Being a good father demands a decent financial condition to aid for the child’s education, entertainment and other expenses while mothers are expected to be the “angels” in disguise showering immense love and protection over their child.

When you hear the word “father,” what do you think about? Do you have a positive or negative reaction to the word?

My first reaction is one of fear.I will say that while I have met some really amazing fathers, I have never experienced that personally from my own father. I have good memories of my father, which might surprise you, but overall, the abuse that we suffered at is hands have tainted those good memories and made the word father/dad to be associated with someone you feared being around.My father was not always physically abusive. But the verbal abuse, neglect, and isolation techniques did a number on me as well. When the physical abuse happened, it didn’t seem to come as any type of shock.I was recalling listening to a song at the age of twelve, where the words were, “Peace is when my daddy’s home.”I changed the words for myself and my siblings to”Peace is when my daddy’s gone.”It is sad to me that at this young age, I realized that life was more peaceful when he was gone and while I loved him with all my understanding at that time, I did not feel loved, cared for or safe around him. I knew he would wreak havoc and destruction if given the chance. I sought to stay on his good side, obey, follow the rules, not anger the beast. However, when he put my siblings in danger, required instant obedience, or badmouthed others, I tended to get myself in trouble, rising to their defense.One of the last “spankings” that I got, which was really a beating, was because I dared to speak my mind. I was about fourteen years old. He flew at me in a rage, striking me in whatever way he could with an implement that he grabbed from the kitchen. I was a small teenager, weighing about 85 pounds, five feet tall. I felt unheard, and unseen. I was capable of smartmouthing and likely was being sassy, but there is nothing on earth that ever deserves that type of reaction.I remember deciding then and there, that not only would I not subject my children to that, I needed to be careful to be extra quiet and not express my true feelings about anything.My reaction to the word Father: in my life it means a cruel harsh person dictating others lives through abuse. I am grateful he is no longer in my life.

Do you think it's fair that a father asks for respect when he himself doesn't respect his/her son?

Nope…respect has to be earned…not given. otherwise it has no value. BUT, if you are in a crappy situation do NOT under any circumstances tell him “Then earn it!” or “Then be respectable!” Even though you are right, it will still go badly for you. But you are correct. Look at the word. Re-Spect. Spec is the root word for seeing, Spectacular, Spectacles, Suspect etc. Re means to do again. So respect is something worth taking another look. Too many people think it means to give homage to or to kowtow to. That’s just abuse. Respect must by it’s very definition be mutual…to see eye-to-eye as it were. Good luck, You are right….and most of all…Shut up.