At what age are opposite sex sleepovers inappropriate?
As a mother of three boys I was shocked to find out that my 8 year old son was invited to a sleepover with girls. The sleepover was for a boys birthday party, and three girls were invited to attend. All of the girls parents declined for one reason or another so I allowed my son to go. I was surprised and mentioned it to my mother who said that my nephew (12) was invited to a boy/girl sleepover! I understand inviting girls to the pre-evening festivities, but to ask them to spend the night seems a bit odd to me. So where is the line drawn? My line is drawn at never, but I was curious how other parents felt about boy/girl sleepovers, and why they felt that way. Thanks!
Why is it not appropriate for a daughter to sleep in the same bed as her father?
Depends on the situation. How old is the daughter? How many other people are in the bed? Or in the same room?Generally, it’s not appropriate for a man to sleep in the same bed with his daughter who is old enough to have children when there’s nobody else in the same room. Keep in mind that “old enough to have children” could be 9 or 10.When on vacation, our family has slept in the same room in two beds, and usually my husband sleeps in the same bed with me or with my son, but not with our daughter. Which sometimes leaves our daughter and son sleeping together. They usually put up a row of stuffed animals and pillows between them. I guess that makes it OK?
At what age does it become inappropriate for parents to bathe or shower with their children? Or having them see you naked in general?
As others have said, this partly depends on culture differences, but...It can also depend on other factors. I'm a mother of two boys and two girls. The first boy still took a shower with me when he was three, but it stopped before he was four; I can't remember exactly when. It was my choice, even though there were not issues. (Note: I bathed my infants safely until they could sit up, and then they'd take showers with me. Whereas either my husband and I rinsed them in the shower a few times, we avoided that, since really it's potentially dangerous.)Then my second boy, who is four years younger than the firstborn, showered with me until he was around two. He was simply too curious and touchy. He started bathing with his older brother, but that soon came to and end as well, because he wanted to touch the older brother. So I had to talk to him. I'd have to bathe him separately to get him clean. Besides that, the then six year old boy had already reached the age—for him—at which he didn't want to be seen naked nor wanted to see us that way. The younger boy is now 8.5 and sometimes shows up in front of someone naked and doesn't make a big deal over it. The two girls still shower with me. One is six, and the other is about to turn four. They sometimes take a bath in the garden tub, but they otherwise shower with me. It's no problem. I remember my younger sister and I taking a shower with my mother. No problem. We stopped sometime a few years before our teens. As a teen, my best friend and I showered together whenever we'd spend the night together. No big deal. My girls are beyond taking a shower with their dad, but that was cut off around three. He sometimes showers in the morning, in addition to the regular night shower, and the kids thought it was fun to get in, too. The boys did when they were little, too. They'd sit in there for awhile, then I'd get them out and dry them. I wouldn't see a problem with the boys still showering with their dad, bit neither want to. The oldest is VERY private, lol, and he's every bit as respectful to others' privacy.
How old is too old for a girl to sleep in the same bed as her dad?
Of course you are overprotective...you are her mom! You are obviously uncomfortable about this situation, so you need to talk to her dad about this. You know your daughter better than anyone. You know what level of maturity she is at. I have an 8 1/2 y/o daughter. She gets clingy with her dad a lot when he has been out of town for business or working a lot. She misses him and wants to cuddle with him and spend time with him. She still comes in our bed sometimes in the middle of the night. You haven't mentioned how long you and her father have been separated. Was she 3, 4, 5 and going with him on the weekends? If so, she has probably gotten used to it and might still be wanting to sleep with him to feel close to him and because she misses him. It may have become more of a habit for her. That being said, she is starting to get a little more mature and growing up (too fast it seems sometimes). You might need to remind her dad of this as well because he probably still looks at her like she's that little 4 or 5 year old most of the time. I'm sure he will agree with you that she should be encouraged to sleep in her own bed while over there. Of course if she needs him for any reason whatsoever, he won't be far away and she can always come to him in the night. I'm sure things are similar when she is at your house. This will help her out in the long run and help her learn to be more independent and have some control. I wanted to let you know that this is a very good question to ask. Some of the answers you have gotten so far have bit a bit mean and outrageous so I hope you totally disregard them. **Another note...about abuse....I experienced this when very young at the hands of my dad. I was younger and knew that what was going on was wrong. I would avoid being alone with him whenever possible, especially when he was drinking. If your daughter was experiencing that with her dad, she would express it in different ways...a lot of time kids are "guilted into or warned" to stay quiet. I think your daughter would show hesitancy about spending time with him. I don't think the thought of abuse should enter your head, but then again, you know the both of them and I don't, so if that has crossed your mind you should address it ASAP. Good luck to you...this is an akward situation to be in. I hope I have been able to help in some way. Take care.
Should a single father sleep with his 9 year old daughter?
I see two different issues here. One is if it is healthy for a nine-year-old to sleep with her parent. Intelligent people will debate this. I side more on the negative, but I'm having a hard time keeping my 2-year-old out of my bed and that is partly because when she crawls in with me, I love cuddling with her. The other is if there is anything perverted about a father sleeping with his 9-year-old daughter. Not in and of itself. I cannot indict this man on this evidence and I think it is unfair for me to speculate about his relationship with his daughter. On what you have described, I would think it is a good relationship.
Is it weird for a 14 year old girl to sleep in the same bed as her father and 7 year old brother?
I'm a 14 year old girl and i still sleep in the same bed as my dad and 7 year old brother. when i was around 10-12 i slept in my own room and i don't really know how i got to the point where i sleep in my dads room. I'm usually terrified during the night because I've encountered many disturbing and horrifying images and stories and such in my life and it has just gotten worse. I have a horrible fear of ghosts, mirrors, my tv, the dark, noises, rain at night, 12 a.m, if someones in the house like a murderer or burglar or something, and spirals (because of the manga Uzumaki) So i can't sleep by myself and because my parents are divorced, i only sleep at my moms house every other weekend and there i cant sleep because my fear gets worse. I don't think therapy or anything will help. Though i can usually sleep if I'm in the same room as someone my age or older. But overall, is this bad?