New years eve family or friends?
SHOOD I SPEND NEW YEARS EVE WITH FAMILY OR AT A PARTY WITH FRIENDS? IM GOING TO SPEND MOST OF THE NIGHT AT HOME ...BUT LATER THAT NITE IM GOING WITH FRIENDS TO A PARTY JUST FOR A FEW HOURS UNTIL THE NEW YEAR. WHATS THE BEST THING TO DO?
How can I make friends in a new city I just moved to after a breakup?
A fresh start is always good. New friends can be difficult to make, but when you have some tips on how to make new friends, hopefully it can help. Check out our tips for making new friends:Keep Old Friends CloseJust because you live in a different city or state doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still spend time with your old friends. Make frequent phone calls or Skype calls to keep up with what’s happening in each other’s lives. Send e-mails back and forth. Keep updated on Facebook or your other social media sites. If your new city is within driving distance, you can even plan visits for a day or weekend to keep old ties tight. It’s too easy to drift apart once you don’t have constant contact with someone, so put the effort in to keep friendships strong.Join a GroupThis is a great way to meet like-minded people, but even if you don’t find new friends, you’ll still feel like you accomplished something. Join a yoga or dance class, join a book club, volunteer, attend a museum lecture and leave yourself open to the possibility of making a new friend in a new city. One-time events are great, but continual classes are best because the regular exposure will assure that you’re not strangers by the time you actually form a friendship.Rein in Your ExpectationsForcing yourself to find your new BFF instantly puts too much pressure on you as well as the other person. Let the friendship develop on its own, and don’t be the only one doing all the asking. Pursuing multiple friendships gently will win you more friends than pursuing one person too aggressively. And go easy on yourself; making new friends isn’t as easy as it was when you were a kid. Allow plenty of time to build a new circle of friends.NetworkOnce you’ve made your first good friend in your new city, you’ve just opened yourself up to that person’s social circle. Don’t feel nervous about confessing how hard it is to meet people in a new city. Ask whether your new friend knows anyone else you’d get along with. Start by including one other person in your outings, then you can make plans to hang out with them individually.Good luck in your future friendships!
My sister cares more about her friends then me,she wont even spend time with me and shes coming to my town?
My family puts me last on their list of priorities,they put their friends even strangers ahead of me,I havent seen my oldest sis in months,and she is coming down to visit the city I am in,but instead of allowing me to pick her up from the airport she is having her so called "best friend" pick her up,and she will be spending 2 whole weeks with her,and maybe a couple hours with me.I feel really hurt by this,her best friend goes and sees her every 3 months,plus she has been down here twice in the past couple yrs and each time she spends every min with her best friend and absolutely none with me.I feel so hurt that i get sick to my stomach and cry,my whole family neglects me,even though im in my 20's i still think family is thicker then water but not for them,how can I talk to her and make her understand how I feel?how can I handle feeling so neglected,unloved and rejected??
Is it weird for my boyfriend to not want to spend holidays with me?
Yes it's weird. It has happened to me too. However, you are FAR better off than I was. We were together FIVE years and you've only been together ONE year. DO not make the mistake I did and "expect" things to get better. My girlfriend said I was "needy" because I wanted to spend holidays with her. I turned the situation around and asked, "why wouldn't I want to spend holidays with someone I love and am supposed to be with?" It started first with Thanksgiving. Then July 4th....then New Year's eve....basically, all the major holidays. At first I thought this was a case of "being afraid of intimacy or commitment" but then I realized it was simply a case of someone that didn't want to be with me but found me "convenient." After all, what is more intoxicating or an ego boost than having someone that is at your beck and call that loves you? I saw the first red flag during our second year together and the situation only got worse. When we are in love we tell ourselves a lot of things. I wrote down all of these things and asked myself "why am I in love with this person that treats me like I don't matter?" I started focusing on "why do I put up with this?" Instead of trying to figure out "her" issues. If someone doesn't want to spend the holidays with you....it's a SURE red flag...it basically means, if you don't want to spend a "special" day out of the year with your significant other....what makes you think they will want to spend "regular" days with you? I hear ya....this situation sucks and we teach them how to disrespect us....we've broken up now but she still called me to take care of her cat while she is away on her holiday....Imagine that.... must have done something terribly wrong to allow myself to be treated like this.....Even as an ex she feels she can still get me to do one last errand. Respect yourself....if you don't......you'll end up wasting more time in this relationship....learn from my mistake....don't extend it 4 more years....
Do you have many friends that are men or women?
I tend to have the same amount of both men and women as friends. I am one of those people that people tend to tell me their life story to when I smile and say hey. I get along with men, although I talk to women more often. It's something I'm more comfortable in doing. I grew up around A lot of sisters so maybe there Is some reasoning when I was younger, but I get along with women better because they don't seem always so arrogant. The men I know are usually pretty arrogant, or there is this ego trip thing on who is better. At least to some degree. Not all men are like this, and not all women. I only speak from my own experience and I'm not always the easiest to talk to either. Women tend to hang out with me more. Percentage? Prolly 70/30 women vs. Men.This just means I feel more comfortable around women.
How do you deal with Christmas alone when your family has shunned your for being gay?
You are the captain of your own ship and you are who you are. And if people can't see and accept you for you… that's their problem, not yours. And your parents made a decision to not accept you, and that's on them. But anyone in your life who can't truly appreciate you for who you are doesn't deserve you anyway. Blood doesn't necessarily make a true family… it's the level of bond, trust, acceptance, and respect that does. And who says you can't make family out of friends? Plus, maybe spending Christmas alone doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. You can come up with your own traditions and celebrate your Christmas however you want to, without having to compromise anything(not your plans or your enjoyment of the holidays). You can do whatever you want, eat whatever you want, go wherever whenever, etc. It may feel weird at first, but it could be worth a try. If you could afford it, you could try going to a new city or new place you have been wanting to go and invite your friends to come along for a “friends-mas”, or if nobody is available you can still have fun alone and maybe meet some cool new peeps along the way. Going to new places and discovering new things can open up doors you couldn't have expected and it could refresh you. I'm actually trying that this Christmas for the first time(alone), and I'm excited. If the idea of doing this seems too daunting for you and the lack of familial presence is really getting to you, and your friends aren't available…you could set up an appointment with a therapist and talk to them, and some of them do work on holidays. And especially if this is your first christmas alone and you're still in a time of coping with the alienation from your family, talking to someone could help in getting things off your chest and feeling maybe at least a little less alone. Hope this helps.