I'm 16 (almost 17) and my parents unfairly grounded me for breaking curfew. What should I do about this?
I actually agree that your parents would have done well to consider the circumstances, and cut you some slack, especially since you had an excellent record up until then. However, in real life as an adult, you probably won't get much consideration or forgiveness in similar cases. One example is the strict military requirement for returning to base after leave or liberty. You're expected to allow a lot of extra time for unforeseen circumstances. You don't take the very last flight that will get you back on time, if all goes well. Careless mistakes such as running out of money or gasoline cut no ice with your superior officers. What I suggest, is that you negotiate with your folks about the length of time you'll be grounded. Agree to do extra chores (snow shoveling comes to mind). Let them know that in the future you will allow extra time to get home in bad weather, and not wait until the last minute to leave from where you are. Speak to them in a calm and mature way – don't beg or whine about how unfairly you're being treated. It does seem quite strict that you're old enough to drive, but are expected home by 7:00 pm. However, it gets dark early these days, and driving after dark is less safe. Perhaps it's important to them that you're home for dinner, and have adequate time to get your homework done. When your birthday rolls around, that would be a reasonable occasion to ask for an extra hour before you're due back home.
My curfew is too early. Should I be grounded for breaking it?
My curfew is way too early. It's eight o' clock, and all of my friends' curfews are pat 10. So, of course I'm going to end up coming in later, because nobody else has to be home at that time. I just finished two weeks of being grounded for something stupid, and last night my dad finally let me out with some friends, but he said I had to be home at eight. I got home at eight thirty, which isn't that late at all, but my dad blew up at me and grounded me for another week! Is this fair?
I broke curfew by 4 hrs and my parents grounded me for 3 months. Do you think they are serious about the 3 months or will they reduce it?
Try to think of it from their perspective. Yes, they're angry about you breaking a house rule, but when you were out for so long after you were supposed to be home and they couldn't get ahold of you, they were probably terrified. It doesn't matter how old you get, parents always worry about their child's safety. A big part of your parents' anger comes from them being scared that something had happened to you. When you're a parent, you love your child so much that the fear of losing them runs very, very deep. What I think you should do today is try to sit down with your parents (maybe at dinner) and say how sorry you are for breaking curfew and worrying them. Explain, again, that you weren't out doing anything bad, that you just didn't want to leave your friend when she was so heartbroken over losing a pet. Tell them you realize now that you should have called home *before* curfew and asked if you could stay at her house longer since it was special circumstances. Yes, you're doing some groveling, but it will show some maturity if you admit that you understand what you did wrong. And I'm sure they have some sympathy for your friend. They'll probably stick with the grounding for a while, but if you stay on the straight and narrow for a while I'll bet they ease up. Showing you've learned the lesson they're trying to teach goes a long way.
My sister is grounded for breaking curfew and drunk driving and I feel like I am too...even though I'm not?
Do this. Simply just state "Hey mom and dad. Even though I am a twin, I don't do everything my sister does. Please don't punish me for something someone else has done. I hope after the drug test, one that I know I will pass, you will gain more trust in me and treat me as an individual and based on my own actions in the future". Write that in a little note and say nothing else. It may take a little while for it to sink in, but it will sink in , I promise. Give it time and let them calm down. It may take a little while for them to realize it, but you need to give them little reminders like this. When you and your sister have the same friends, you will have to suffer the same consequences in this situation. You can't always have your cake and eat it too. They feel your sister will benefit from your friend coming over and since she is on strict punishment, they can't risk it. Drunk driving is serious. It has nothing to do with you.
My parents grounded me for something I didn't do?
It's good that you recognize that she probably honestly believes you took the money. All you can really do is either "'fess up" and apologize for something you didn't do or stick to your guns on the "I didn't do it" and behave in an honorable way until she realizes that you're a basically trustworthy person and you probably didn't really do it (or until she finds a reason to blame one of your siblings or some other person who had access to her purse). If you've recently been behaving in a way that she regards as much less trustworthy and mature than the way you used to behave (even though it can be a perfectly natural and a good thing for adolescents to rebel against their parents' control, depending, of course, on the nature of the rebellion), then she can be forgiven for not assuming that you are basically trustworthy and mature. Unless she's stubborn enough that she will not back down no matter how well-behaved you are, I'd like to think that following her rules (including the new rules that come with being grounded), being polite and respectful, and insisting that you didn't take the money would show her that you're the wrong person to blame. You're the one who has to live with the consequences of your actions, not me, so you should be the one who decides what you ought to do. The only thing I think you should avoid is increasing the rule-breaking behaviour (breaking curfew twice a week, talking back all the time, etc.), because that's only going to harm your relationship with your mother even more, and I think that would make your situation worse. Good luck with it, and I'm sorry your mom doesn't believe you when you are telling the truth.
Grounded for curfew violation?
I was supposed to stay home and study for my math regents but i went out Sat night instead. I snuck out of the house at 12 and stayed out 3 hours past my curfew, coming home 3 AM...... My mom is a nurse and before she left for her shift she wrote a note saying im grounded ALL summer Grounded as in my room with no tv or PS3. Grounded as in no going outside or to friends houses. I am 15 for crying out loud!
I'm 18 and my parents grounded me...can they do this?
I live with my parents because I can't afford to move out. The money that I make from working goes towards paying for my education. Tuition where I go to school ends up costing about 25,000 a year plus the cost of textbooks...so moving out is not a possibility. Even though I am 18 and a junior in college my parents still find it necessary to set a curfew for me. The curfew that I have is 11 PM. Last night I broke my curfew by 30 minutes and now my parents are telling me that I'm grounded for two weeks. Can they even do this? It seems ridiculous to me! I would like to have a little bit of freedom. Some nights I don't get off of work until 10pm and then I have to go straight home. My friends don't have curfews since their parents acknowledge the fact that they are adults and in college. If I didn't have a curfew I wouldn't go off and do anything crazy. I would just spend some time with my friends. I honestly do respect my parents...I just think they can be a little over the top at times.
Is it best to: ground my son (15) and try to stop him sneaking out his window at night; or to offer him a compromise of a curfew and slightly relaxed rules? How can I ensure he is being safe best?
Short of chaining him in the basement…which I don’t recommend and is illegal. And is in the long run the opposite of safe:The answer is probably both. But I have never seen grounding be successfully done, ever. Either life gets in the way and it fizzles out or the parents aren’t around to enforce it, so it is meaningless. Worse it sets up dynamics of power struggles and no one wins.If you have built trust and healthy communication you should have a good foundation to build from, and compromise works because it means you are listening. At 15 it is a child’s job to push the parental limits and boundaries, to rebel. It’s is even partway out of their control because of hormonal chemicals swamping their mind and body. It is your job as a parent to help them navigate this period with calm and sensible controls. If an intermediary is needed go to a therapist together, or have a favorite relative (of theirs) come help. Both start by writing down what you want vs what you need as well as things you feel are not comprimisable. Then work out a contract with consequences and rewards. And both sign. Be mature and show how as adults problems are resolved in business and apply it to conflict. Your time spent with your children is the best antidote to family strife. Being an autocrat and dictator does not create healthy happy families or adults from that environment.
I'm 20 years old still living at home and my curfew is 10pm is that normal?
I have two young children (14 and 6), and my 18 year old is moving back home from college. I'm looking at contracts and curfews, etc when I came upon this question.As adults, rarely do any of us get to "come and go" as we please. We all live under constraints. These constraints are dictated by personal, familial, and professional obligations.First, and foremost: not your house; not your choice. Regardless of whether or not you like the curfew, you can either put up or get out. I may not like showing up for work 20 minutes before I need to be at my station, but because my boss requires it, I do it.My 18 year old will be working, and eventually going back to school. She has a responsibility to get a good night's sleep and be a good role model for her younger siblings. We'll discuss a fair curfew, but after midnight will not be acceptable.My 18 year old, like her siblings, will have household responsibilities that will need to be completed before "free time." So, the idea that she can do whatever she wants is silly. As an adult I have household responsibilities that must be taken care of before I can relax. Otherwise the household won't run smoothly.Free time happens only when responsibilities for work, school, and family are managed.Is this a way to control her? Less of a control issue and more of a issue of teaching her skills her birth parents didn't teach her.
My boyfriend is grounded for three weeks? Please read, it's worth it.?
I'm gonna be the first to say that I do not think it is worth it... There is too much drama in the relationship, and even though it is not his fault it will continue to strain your relationship. If you stay with him and can make it work, more power to you, but I think you are just setting yourself up for a miserable *insert time span you two date in here.* Honestly you need her to have a heart attack and have him go live with someone else. There is no making him happy with a psycho ***** like that as a mom, and if you get caught sneaking around I can only imagine what she'd do. Good luck, but it sounds like you're stuck =/. Sorry.