Is It Narcissistic To Want To Be Loved By A Particular Person

Can a narcissist get addicted to a particular supply?

They are addicted individuals with obsessions forming a part of their personality .Obsessed about their current object of passion and fancy-they shall call it ‘THE ONE!”( BTW-each potential primary supply before you was that!!!).The thing Is- narcs think they are normal and their thought processes are normal as any other . They think they are in love and aware of their disruptive patterns in love but cannot fathom what goes wrong each time.He is obsessed by his object of fancy..which is you ! He Is infatuated. He will love bomb you;seduce you into submissiom; Herald you ;look at you as the most exalted possession he has had.Sure, it makes you feel good despite understanding that it's too good to but true and you anyways ignore/overlook hazards to continue living that intoxicating feeling.Story moves over now to THE GRAND discard . BY chance IF you have moved away and escaped …he is gonna still be obsessed . He is gonna stalk you,keep a thorough check..triangulate..smear your name..make you sound like the mad psycho bitch to all and sundry .( btw- earlier ones were the same too).He will bear a grudge for all your pecadilloes which he perceived as hurtful action for life!!He will try his stunts to disturb your new life ;long after you have stopped bothering to even look for him indirectly on social media.Well, He hasn't just yet. …H e may find a new supply n his story gonna be same..but he wouldn't bave stopped bad mouthing you ..his wounds always feel fresh post 2 years of discard ..Also- forget a supply..I observed my narcc..behaving obsessively about all his things he considered his latest object of fancy . So excess gymming it was because he was addicted to it for that period till something snapped.Excess copulation it was and excess porn during a particular phase.Excess addiction to social media.Kind of matches with his obsessions to the supply right?!Observe the patterns! It's pretty obsessive behaviour for everything!!

Do narcissists need a particular person to be their punching bag?

Yes. I don't know how many times I was told that I was so lucky to be married to my husband. My husband volunteered, paid people's way (meals, vacation, bills, etc…) and pretended to be a Christian and did the God talk /wAlk. He talked about treating all women like sisters and not as sex symbolS and talked about the importance of staying faithful and how he would never EVER cheat. People thought he would take the shirt off his back for them. He mentored other people's teens and those kids practically worshipped the ground he walked on…Then there was the man who he really was. Constantly cussing at me and our children and calling us name… my littlest (7) still rememberS studying his Bible verses and Dad cussing at him and calling him stupid (repeatedly) for not remembering. At times he refused to buy us groceries and give us money, forcing us to go to food banks. He would buy people extravagant gifts and I would cry on the holidays because I had nothing for my children. He slept with hundreds of women and made them fall in love with him… they had no clue that he was married. Some were prositutes that he even developed a relationship with, And others were random women off of Craig's list and dating websites. Sometimes he beat us,too… but he felt justified… convinced himself that we were “bad” and deserved it. He blamed his cheating on me and tried to appear to be a victim Saying I was a bad wife, treated him poorly and was too fat to excite him… and he was always convinced I was cheating and would also justify it for something that never happened. The emotional and verbal abuse was far worse than the physical and sexual abuse… those scars don't go away. Even the older children couldn't shake the emotional abuse and had thoughts of suicid. Yes, we were his physical and emotional punching bags… and the rest of the world praised him for the man he wasn't.…And men like this… no one believes you when you try to get help. Everyone is convinced we are liars and they feel sorry for him.

How can narcissists be obsessed with one particular supply/past relationship?

Thank you for your answer request, Jill. In my experience it is usually ‘the one who got away’ that the narcissist will seem to be obsessed with. He or she is not in love with the object of their obsession however, no matter how it may appear. The primary reason is that they got away and most likely they were the one to end the relationship. That doesn’t sit well with the narcissistic personality as they like to be in control and they have lost control in this case.The ex was probably a very good source and had something that made the narcissist look good. This could be anything from being beautiful, sexy or their social status. The ex was never a person but an object and belonged to the narcissist. This is why I disagree with those who say that the NP doesn’t look back as it’s a NPD trait to believe that they own someone even if they don’t really want that person. It’s the ‘my toy’ scenario and I have witnessed their rage at an ex partner for daring to find someone new, years after they’d broken up. It’s their emotionally stunted development that leaves them with the ‘terrible two’s tantrums’ and you really don’t want to witness that up close.As others have stated, if you are currently in a situation with someone with NPD, they may be using the ex partner as a pawn in their manipulation game. If this is the case then stop playing their nasty little game as they will hurt you at every turn, there are no rules to this game and you’ll be kept on your toes trying to figure this game out. You will never be ‘good enough’ and neither was the ex. They will use the past relationship as the ideal one and you will be constantly trying to compete with a ghost.If you are the one who got away, then realise that you are very lucky and if the narcissist tries to lure you back just so he/she can later discard you on their terms, please don’t consider it even for one second. I hope this has answered your question Jill.

Can narcissists ever love anyone and ever be truly happy?

No to both in any meaningful way. An explanation follows.Narcissists have been emotionally abused/traumatized/neglected at a very young age, causing their emotional development to be stunted at the age of the trauma. They manifest a false self to appeal to their primary caregiver who neglected them hoping “maybe Mommy will love me now.”The idealized false self must be propped up at all costs. The narcissist cannot bear the pain of ripping the scab open to expose the wound of the real self which was rejected by the primary caregiver.The false self must be propped up. Whenever the narcissist hears “You're such a beautiful person!” (or whatever comprises the particular false self) the false self receives a boost.The false self is balanced precariously. There is a part of the narcissist that knows the truth of the real self, with its attendant shame and rejection, which can never, ever be encountered.The reality of the narcissist is dominated by the idealized false self.To truly love involves putting the interests of another ahead of your own. Narcissists did not develop far enough to obtain that ability. They can feel love, but it’s the love of a damaged young child, a distorted, immature love, centered on how the loved one satisfies their needs.In regards to happiness, narcissists are all about getting their needs met, about manipulating others to get what they want. This is an absolute disaster as far as obtaining true happiness is concerned. It’s akin to someone sleeping with as many people as possible to obtain conquests.There can be some fleeting moments of happiness, especially after getting some desired thing, but the novelty wears off, and really sets in.Narcissists are often despised by those who know them well. They are unable to either give or experience adult love. They live for themselves. These are not the components that lead to happiness.

Can narcissists become addicted to a person?

A narcissist may be addicted to a person who feeds their ego, never disagrees, and goes along with everything they have to say or do.A narcissist is very concrete in their thinking and sees the world in either-or, black or white.  This mutually exclusive thinking permeates their life and causes them to instantly hate someone who has another point of view or doesn’t pay them the tribute they think they deserve.They may idolize a person upon meeting but can instantly change their opinion of the individual who doesn’t fall for the narcissist's line.  Those who have the misfortune to live with a narcissist will find that almost everything in their life is subject to the control and approval of the narcissist.  If the narcissist decides there will be fun then there is fun, however, the joviality may last only as long as the narcissist wants it to last and then it is ended. They must be at the center of attention and the person they are with must sit quietly by in deference to the “great one.”Thanks for the request.

Why does a narcissist keep coming back to a particular girl?

Because that girl made him feel good about himself in some way or other.Or because she gave him a certain quality he labeled her as for his various needs.Which is why narcissists normally have a love helper, a girlfriend helper, a fuck buddy helper, a friend helper, a financial helper, a cook helper, a business helper, an ego helper, a manliness helper, a social status helper, etc.If she has more than one of any of those qualities he will gravitate to her (or hers*) more often.My narcissist thought of me as his #1 fan manliness helper, ego helping, sex helping, girlfriend helping chick category. But intentionally denied me friendship or love because that would have made me too valuable and wasnt what he had already decided my place would be in his life. ….And you cant be valuable to a narcissist or it takes the spotlight away from them. This is the one he torments when he cant torment the primary. He also thinks that if he treats this one like crap it proves he loves the primary one. (it doesnt.)He put his estranged wife into the love helper, financial controlling helper, friend helper category. This would be the alpha in his assortment and a constant. Like his prize possession that he probably definitely treats like crap behind closed doors but to the outside world shes the only one in his world and he loves her through and through (because hes keeping up appearances) He gets off on making her jealous and keeping her from finding happiness elsewhere but doesnt want to make the effort to be a good guy to her completely. He intentionally puts distance between them so they spend limited amounts of time together.He had a coworker who he had as a business helper, cook helper, friend helper category. This is just the back up. This is the one he uses to hurt the others so they dont feel special or he feels they're too comfortable.And a friend helper, fuck buddy helper, ego helper category….. Which wasnt around that often but recurring as needed. The plug when no one else is around.All the other girls will flit in and out relatively fast as they dont have more than one quality.The “partner in crime” mentalities that always agree with him and enable him will always stay on a rotating rolodex of potentially coming back to.