My dad choked me?
Im going to tell you that were being disrespectful....I have teenage sons, so I know how kids can be. Im also going to tell you that what your dad did was illegal and he could get into VERY big trouble. It is important for you to know this, not to give you a free pass to be disrespectful....but so you wont grow up thinking that you can get away this behavior yourself. If you choke somebody out in public, your future gf/wife/children....you are looking at a felony and jail time. It is NOT okay to hit anybody, ever...for any reason. There are going to be ALOT more disrespectful people you come across in life, at your work, out in public, your neighbors, ect.....disrespectful people are all over, even on the roads....you can't hit them, unless you want a felony on your record and jail time. That doesn't even include the legal fees, which are in the thousands or the stink it will put on your record when you apply for jobs or any other position of rank.
Is it ok for my dad to beat me but make up for it after?
No, it is not OK. Violence is the capitulation of the mind. Him beating you means his weakness and insecurity is taking over, and he desperately tries to win control of the situation, when obviously he has lost control over himself. Him making up for it after he has beaten you, is not an excuse or makes it OK.I am not sure how approachable your father is when he is calm but if he is open to talks, explain to him how you feel. Explain to him that it is hard to respect him when he looses control like that. Ask him to go to anger management.Obviously, if he refuses there isn’t much you can do but to stay out of his way. But please, don’t ever accept violence against you, or let yourself to be made to feel like it is OK to beat you as long as he apologizes later. It is not and never OK for anyone to beat you.
Is it okay to still shower with my Dad?
I think it is very weird. I am a 38 single mom of a 13 yr old boy. Boys your age need their privacy. Believe me, if your dad every got into a custody battle with you, and this "little fact" got out, he would lose custody of you so fast his head would spin. I haven't seen my son naked in YEARS. Of course I am his mom, but there is just that 'privacy', (and this is 2011 not 1911) thing going on. I think you need to put an end to it. I've never heard of a SINGLE PERSON in my life doing this. Your dad could be accused of some pretty nasty things if child welfare knew. I know this for a fact. I don't care if it makes you comfortable or uncomfortable. STOP doing it for the well-being of both of you. It is not normal. This question worries me and makes me wonder about your dad. Sorry, but it does.
Was this fair of my dad to do?
I am a 15 year old girl and I got caught on Saturday night sneaking in past curfew, which is 11. My dad threw a hissy fit and took away my iphone x and grounded me. I am still grounded and I have asked for my iphone x back but he won';t give it to me until I have earned it, which means I have to do chores around the house. I told him i won't be doing any chores until I get my phone back. All he said was "well I guess you'll never get it back". What should I do about this? Is my dad overreacting?
Is it okay for my mum to go through my dad's texts?
Possibly. Let’s examine two possible situations.Your dad and mum share their passcodes with each other, and have each other’s consent to look at each other’s phones, some of the time. Maybe your mum had a perfectly good reason to look at something on there (maybe she needed reminding of the time of an event, etc.) and has prior permission to look. In this case, yeah, it’s okay.Let’s think of another. Your mum waits until your dad has left his phone somewhere, and goes on it without his knowledge. She has figured out his passcode by watching him open it, and he doesn’t know that she knows. She is looking through his texts, and reading private conversations with his other friends/ family/ etc. Maybe you found her doing this, and she asked you not to tell him. In this case, clearly it’s less okay. It looks like she doesn’t trust your dad, and is spying on him, but you still don’t know the full story, so don’t jump to conclusions.If your mum has done something to make you worried or uncomfortable, or if she’s asked you to hide something from your dad, then I would ask her about it, and tell her it’s made you worried or uncomfortable.
My dad hits me. Is this just/okay?
There are no circumstances where it's "just" or OK for your father to hit you. The best advice I can give under the circumstances are to do what he said—contact Childline. You (and your family) need some counseling so that issues can be worked out so that something like this never happens again.It's not you, and it's not about getting a ride to school.Warning: Upcoming anecdote!When I was in high school (USA) I had a friend whose father thought that hitting my friend was an appropriate way to get his point across. One day I was at my friend's house and he was arguing with his father. His father slapped him, and my friend fell back against some furniture.At this point I should pause to point out that my friend was 16, and had grown to be much taller and heavier than his father. The father was about 5' 8" tall (172cm) and my friend was at least 6" (15cm) taller. I don't think my friend's father considered this at the time.You might guess the rest. My friend got up and punched his father very hard in the face. His father was knocked back several feet into a wall, which he then slowly slid down to the floor. He did not immediately get back up.My friend and I left the house. Over time (not just because of this one incident) my friend's parents got divorced, and my friend didn't have much interaction with his father after that.
Is it okay for my dad to see me naked or my penis.?
This is kind of a personal choice you have to make. If you are comfortable with your dad seeing you naked then that's fine. I personally wouldn't want my parents to see me naked. Covering your self up is always just fine, keeping you for you and the one you love. As far as porn goes it's up to you if that's something you want to discuss with your dad.
Is it wrong to hate my dad?
What a shame! I adored mine, an English teacher who taught us so more than just that. We kids thought he knew everything. His disiplin was strict but consistent so it was easy enough to follow, which was rewarded by games, stories, and fun. A wonderful recollection. But many nights he was busy preparing for the next day’s work or just exhausted, so we learned to let him alone then.Think about why you hate him. If it is discipline can you try to avoid doing those things that annoy him? If it is just that you just don’t really know him, can you try to talk to him when he is not preoccupied, perhaps at meal time? If it is disagreements perhaps you should think about his view point, accept those that seem reasonable and discuss those you disagree with.Another reason can sometimes be that by the time he gets home from work he is always exhausted and doesn’t have the energy to parent so he hibernates and you don’t really get to know him. This happens too often and is a shame. I think my response would be to give him some time to relax, then occasionally (not every night) ask him a good question, perhaps about homework, something you saw at school or on TV that bothered you or interested you. And let him determine when the discussion needs to end.Unfortunately some men had miserable fathers and learned the wrong lessends from them. If that is your assessment please don’t hate him. In my oppinion you will be more successful by avoiding his bad times and engaging with him when the prospect is more promising. And please learn how to avoid the problems he has when you have your own family. Perhaps you mom can guide you some in determining this. Best wishes!
If my dad hits me, should I hit him back?
No, do not go down to same level of using violence instead of words, especially with a relative. There are other ways to respond, to show him how this affected you. If you think it safe, find an opportunity to tell him in a calm and measured tone that he should not have hit you and that you will defend yourself next time. Do not pick a fight and do not respond with same physical aggression, I don't think it is a good idea and is not safe.Think about why he hit you. Did you deserve it? Did he overreact? Who is truly right? If you feel that you absolutely did not deserve it and there was another way to send the message that you would understand, try to tell him this.My father used to hit me, but not strongly, and very rarely. Maybe 3–4 times over the whole childhood. A couple times he used a spoon to hit me on the forehead during a family meal. The reason was usually mundane, such as not properly doing something related to table manners in spite of being warned previously, or 'acting up' a little maybe.Each time it happened, it made me want to cry, or I cried later, not due to pain, but due to a sense of deep embarrassment. It was a feeling of unfairness and betrayal on his part. I never felt that I deserved it (though I did other stuff where I probably deserved it, but he never found out about that). It felt unfair because he knew I would not retaliate. However, it completely ruined my relationship with him, which was never the same after the very first instance of using force on me. I lost trust.And that was the seed from which my attitude toward him developed. It was not violent, it was more of what I did not do: I did not choose to live with him after I got older, and I moved away. I wish him well, but I wish it from a distance. You know, sometimes relatives simply must not live together. It's better this way for everyone. Realizing and acting on auch realization is the single most important thing you might ever do to ensure a better quality of life for yourself, and probably for them too.