Yes. I had a colleague from Denmark who once introduced me to his family. They were all tall blond and white except his 14 yr old who looked like a native African. The next day I asked him if his son was adopted to which he replied no. However, my curiosity was running high and I realized further questions could wade into sensitive waters and the upmost diplomacy was required. I further pried my colleague asking him if he remarried - no. After a few more painful questions, he realized what I was getting at and volunteered why & how his natural son is black. When my colleagues wife gave birth he automatically thought she cheated yet she insisted she hadn’t. After extensive genetic testing and family tree investigation it turns out many generations ago, one of his ancestors had a female slave from Africa as a domestic assistant with whom he had sexual relations resulting in the birth of a bouncing baby white boy. So as to avoid gossip, he raised the boy as if he were from his wife (Surely this put great strain on their relationship). The black genes were passed down for generations never once showing until the birth of my friends son. So, in this case, two white parents gave birth to a black baby.
Do children adopted from foster care go back to their birth family?
Let me ask you a question...are you into genealogy, or know anyone who is? Do you like to investigate your family history? Are people who look up their roots doing something wrong? Are they betraying their current, living relatives? Are they "going back" to their dead ancestors in some way? Why should an adopted person be prohibited from finding out about their own roots, their own heritage, their own biological families? I mean, if you didn't know anything about the people who created you, didn't know where you got your eye color or your weird big toe or the shape of your nose, wouldn't you be the least bit curious? Maybe you aren't the type of person who gets into that; but some people are. And many adoptees are curious about how they came to be, who they came from, where they got many of their traits, both physical and personality. It's a very natrual thing, and there's nothing wrong with it. A loving parent would want their child to feel whole, to be happy and secure, and sometimes to feel whole, a person has to know who and where they came from. You might have to swallow your pride and face your insecurities for the sake of your child's emotional well-being...but as a parent, isn't it worth it for your child? I would think so, I mean I would do anything for my children.
How do you find your birth parents if it's a closed adoption someone pleaser help..:(?
First thing is first: WHO chose the closed adoption? Your parents (meaning the ones who loved and raised you) or your biological parents? You need to figure that out first. Cause it will make a difference. Next, which agency did your adoptive parents use? You need to contact them with the dates you were adopted and the name on your birth certificate (in case your adoptive parents changed your name). Etc. You'll have to keep bugging them for information. If you're lucky, the parent that put you up for adoption is looking for you too Good luck! EDIT: I got your message: It's going to be tough. I'd suggest checking with several area's: Get in touch with the hospital you were born in ((This is assuming your parents picked you up as an infant and know)) See if you can find anything about your birth mom from there. You'll probably need your birth date and names etc. ((Although it might be confidential, you might have to do some wiggling around.)) Look up every couple whose names match your birth parents. ((In the state that you were born in.)). Don't be afraid to call every number you find for that state, starting in the area closest to the hospital. You might have to practice a speech. 'Hi, my name is Delayna. I just turned 18, and I'm looking for my birth parents who put me up for adoption.' ((That seems insane...but you might just get lucky. Although, try to remember it might be a shock for your birth parents. and, perhaps they don't want to meet you. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best <3)) This is NOT going to be easy in the least, and it might take YEARS. http://www.ehow.com/how_2092501_find-biological-parents.html Read up on Ehow. Since it sort of gives you at least some balance. You're going to need all the support you can get!
It depends. If it was through a licensed adoption agency, you can obtain the records once you are or legal age (16–18, depending on the state). Depending on your age, the record may or may not exist. Before the 20th century, all the way until near the 1970s, most all adoptions were considered closed. This was due to the stigma surrounding young, pregnant and unwed women. These potential mothers were often sent away on a “vacation” with family out of state for most of the duration of their pregnancy, and then came hone around two weeks after delivery. They child/children were adopted out, and the birth mother was told to forget and go on as if it never happened.In 1996, a political advocacy and support organization called Bastard Nation was begun to allow adult adoptees access to these sealed records, so they could find out who and where they come from. Today, 95% of adoptions have some degree of openness, if they aren’t open completely. Closed adoptions are more and more rare.Contact SupportThe first link is for Bastard Nation’s website.Am I Adopted? Finding Out You're Adopted & What to Do NextThe second link is self explanatory. But there are a few genetic traits that are dead give aways. For example, if you have a cleft chin, and neither of your parents do, then there is a very high possibility that you are adopted, as a cleft chin is passed from parent to child every time. Others are male-patterned baldness, dimples(one or two), free or attached earlobe, a widow’s peak, among other signs. But if you have the money, and your parents are ok with it, you can go the Ancestory.com route, and submit a DNA sample, usually saliva, for analysis to determine it for good.
It depends on your age, because adoptions were handled very differently in the 40s and 50s.If you know the agency, of course they should be of assistance.If you don't know the agency, you can start with the state or local registrar. The are a number of websites for adult adoptees , including ones that fought for their rights to their records / information from the " closed era. "The social convention of the time was birthmothers would want their privacy respected (often a faulty assumption) and adoptive parents should not tell their children they were adopted until later. Adoptee Rights Coalition
My father was adopted, can I find out who his mother and father were?
Absolutely, you can! People tend to get "spooked" by adoption. What I mean is that people forget that we, as American citizens, enjoy free association. An adoption occurring does not take that away. Unless there is a restraining order against another person, it is lawful to make contact. Your father doesn't "own" his first parents, therefore you have every right to gather information about your own biological relatives without his consent. Depending on where the adoption was finalized (it sounds like Illinois,) there are different resources available to help you. This page gives information about resources available in the U.S. http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?... Make sure to sign up with the International Soundex Reunion Registry at http://isrr.net. It is the largest reunion registry in the world. ETA: Please don't listen to Suzy's judgmental response. She is very against people knowing their ancestries simply because an adoption occurred. These are your biological relatives as much as his. You have every right to know your own background. If he decides he is not interested in doing so, that is his personal decision. But your choice is still valid.
It would be difficult without official documents of your birth. I'll say something you might not be willing to listen. I know a lot of adopted kids they're so bossed with the idea to find their biological parents and ends up being hurt again. Personally I would not encourage you to do so. Several questions you can ask:1. Were you being loved by your adopted parents?2. Are you being loved by some one?If so, your life is just as perfect as anyone else and you have all the love you deserve. If not, it could be hard for you but finding your biological parents is not the answer. The answer is to find someone who can love you and cherish you. One day, you'll have your own family and kids which will fufill all the love you didn't get before.
Original question: Do adoptive parents legally have to tell their childen they’re adopted?The legalities likely depends on the country and the difference between what is expected of adoptive parents and what they’re legally required to do in the specific country/state in question.But. Do consider if their medical history ever becomes relevant. Perhaps they need some kind of treatment and when asked of their family history they’re unaware that they’re not actually biologically related to said family (as in the history will be the wrong one). Say it was a little girl who grew up to become a pregnant women and then has to discuss her family history. If they were born in another country they may be more susceptible to certain illnesses (because of potential exposure), or be more likely to get one condition or other. And more. There’s plenty of medical reasons why the family history and more can be or become relevant. .. And if they believe they know it and they really really don’t.. its not a good thing to say the least.And say they do find out they’re adopted. Instead of the parents discussing it with them and helping them to accept it they are likely to feel hurt and betrayed if or when they discover the truth. No matter how much their adoptive parents loves them they were still lied to and denied their heritage. Which both can and will affect the relationship negatively. And it will also mean that at the core of the relationship between the adopted child and his or her adoptive parents is a lie/deception+.Overall.. Regardless of the legalities and what is required depending on where the child was born and so on.. its still a very bad idea to deny a child their heritage and base your relationship with them on a lie (and yes; it IS a lie). Which.. who knows what kind of damage it can cause a child and how it might affect their behavior in the future. Overall.. Regardless of you being legally required to or not they deserve to know the truth (or at least as much as you know) of their origin+.
Initially it feels like the rug being pulled out from under you. I was told by an over-served cousin at a family wedding two years ago. I was 59. Both parents died several years ago. My brother, their biological son didn't know either. We were the only ones of a very large Italian-American family that were not in on the secret. Both of us were incredulous that this enormous cover-up managed to exist for so many years. I was angry at nobody in particular. I know my parents loved me so much that they "protected" me from the truth of feeling different from the rest of the clan. How could I possibly be angry at them? How could I be angry at my relatives who loved me and also felt the same?My brother and I did our DNA test with 23andMe that confirmed that we are in fact not related. I also discovered that I'm not of Italian descent, a fact that unhinged me almost as much as being adopted. I am Danish, mixed European and Native American, which is a mix that produces an Italian-looking person apparently.Fast-forward two years and I have since discovered who my birth family is. I have 5 biological siblings who did not have an easy childhood. My life would look completely different had I been kept by my birth parents.I can't even begin to wrap my mind around that thought!In the end I'm so grateful for so many things; that I was very loved and protected, that I had a wonderful childhood, and that they gave me the opportunity to enjoy the life I have lived to date. Perhaps the benefit of years of perspective and hindsight has tempered the shock of this discovery, but in the end it's just an interesting story about me.