I need help with Jokes!?
3 people are held hostage by cannibals.the cannibals tell them to bring 10 of the same fruit.the first guy brings 10 apples.the cannibals tell him to shove the apples up his @ss without a problem if his able to do it they let him free.by the time he gets to the 4th apple he is having trouble,so the cannibals eat him.the second guy comes with 10 cherries.cannibals tell him to shove the cherries up his @ss.he shove nine and when his about to shove the 10th,he brust into laughter,so the cannibals eat him.the first two hostage are dead and are talking in hell.the 1st hostage says"dude you were so close,why did you start laughing?".the second hostage then says"O i saw the other hostage coming with ten pinapples". 2nd joke There was this kid named jon who went to school in florida but he was from alabama.in his 3rd grade class the students are learning how to count to 100.jon was the only kid who can count to 100.jon goes to his dad and ask why is he the only kid that can count to 100.the dad says"its because your from alabama son".the next day the students learn their ABC's.jon is the only one who makes it to Z.jon goes to his dad and ask why am i the only one who can make it to Z."its cause your from alabama son"the dad says.the next day in gym class jon notices his penis is alot bigger than the other kids.he goes to his dad and ask why is his penis bigger than the other kids.his dad says "its because your eighteen son"
What are some slang terms used among police officers?
The most derogatory terms for the bad guys and citizens who are just pains in the rectum:A.H. = Adam Henry (A-dam H-enry) If you don’t get it…..sometimes you will hear it as “Jack Hole”…..now what starts with an “A” that ends with HOLE ?RICHARD CRANIUM= What starts with a “D” and is a nickname for Richard ? What is the non-medical layman’s term for the Cranium ? Do these clues HEAD you in the right direction ?
What money hacks has saved or made you alot of money?
The simplest hack I know is to make saving money a daily habit.If you’re anything like me, your parents trained you to budget by making you set budgets for every little category. This much for clothes. This much for gas. This much for food.You’re probably still doing this today with a budgeting app where you set those budgets and then categorize each purchase into one of them.The problem? This doesn’t work! At the end of the month, your spending looks nothing like what you predicted. Why? Because you haven’t made managing your money a daily habit.Here’s what I’ve found works instead:1. Know Your Free-to-Spend NumberFirst, take your post-tax salary number. For simplicity, let’s say it’s $5,000 per month.Then subtract your monthly bills—things like rent, cable/internet, and phone; let’s call this $1500.Then subtract the amount you want to save every month. Let’s say that’s $1000.The remaining amount—$2,500 in this case—is the amount you have free to spend on discretionary items this month.Divide that by the days in the month, and you’ve got a free-to-spend number for each day. Things get so much simpler when you know you can spend $83 dollars today.2. Track Your SpendingYour goal is to spend no more than your free-to-spend number above. To do that, you need to know how much you’re spending day in and day out.You can do this by adding up your transactions from your bank accounts and credit cards every day in a spreadsheet.If you want something more automated and live in the US, my company Swish makes a free app that calculates all this for you.Unlike other budgeting apps, it’s so simple you’ll actually use it!3. Eliminate Waste to Increase Your SavingsFinally, you should cut out unnecessary expenses.This is normally the thing people tell you to do first, but honestly I think that’s totally backwards. If you try to live like a monk, you’ll never stick to your budget.But once you know how much you can spend each day, it’s way easier to decide if buying something is actually worth it to you.Will these shoes really make me happy? Do I really need that extra drink?If yes, buy it! If no, save the money so you have more free to spend tomorrow.