Damned if I do, damned if I don't?
Tell your mom if she likes him so much, she should marry him. Personally I would never tell any of my kids to marry someone because I wanted them to. That is crazy. I want them to be happy, its their life, not mine. I would not encourage them to get married and get a divorce, either. To bring children in this world with a man you don't love and put them and yourself through a divorce and visitation, not fair to any of you. Marriage is a life long thing with someone you love and want to be with. You need to do what you want to do, not your mother.
Damned if you do? or damned if you don't?
I do, cuz I'm already damned.
Are women damned if we do, damned if we don't?
I have seen many complaints here about feminism's demands for affirmative action for women when it comes to physically demanding jobs such as firefighting. Yet when women do not flock to such jobs, they get accused of not doing their fair share of the "dangerous jobs." I've also seen people say that feminism has caused women to want to "act like men" by joining the workforce, and allegedly neglecting their motherly and wifely duties, and that when women joined the workforce it essentially screwed up our economy by making two income households necessary. But I also hear that when a woman stays home, it is terribly unfair to men who have to bear the load of financially supporting a family, leading a "meaningless mind numbing existence." I can think of countless other examples where women are criticized and accused of being selfish and evil beings who are trying to ruin men's lives if they go with one decision, and face the same attitude if they go with the opposite decision. Are women just damned if we do, damned if don't?
What is one word for damned if you do and damned if you dont?
Ok so imagine something like you either jump off a cliff into a bunch of spikes or you jump off a cliff into a bunch of fire and there are no alternatives. Is there a word that would describe your problem? I thought maybe conundrum, but im sure there must be a more accurate word that describes the "your screwed either way" feeling. Is there even a word for this situation? Also this is for an essay im writing so nothing profane or crude like "screwed" or "damned" and of course no swear words.
The old saying "damned if you do damned if you don't most resembles?
Approach/avoidance conflict, definitely.
Song with the lyrics "i'm damned if i do and damned if i don't"?
from spm (south park mexicans) song called i must be high
Are men just damned if they do, and damned if they don't? Can men ever thoroughly understand the nuances women understand?
Women are often thought of as more intuitive, perceptive, and more precise regarding communicating with others. Is that what you mean by the “nuances women understand”?One reason women may have developed such skills is that they have historically had no voice. They were not listened to. If they spoke up, they were told to sit down. If they argued, they were told they were too loud. If they protested, they were dismissed or ignored. If they persisted, they were called bitches and worse. (Does this still go on today? You bet it does. Even in… Quora!)So part of understanding and communicating the way women do is to be aware of where they are coming from, what restrictions have been impressed upon them in terms of behaviour and appearance; plus the fact that in general girls and women are far more vulnerable to violence and oppression than men are.And one thing I am becoming very weary about is the idea that women and men are adversaries, when we have far more in common than we have differences.Girls and women are not the enemy.Relationships of all kinds, even platonic friendships, can be confusing and challenging. What is important is liking yourself, presenting your true self— and allowing and cherishing others when they do the same.I’ve seen your posts. I think you have all the tools and skills necessary to have wonderful, happy, rewarding relationships with women. …You know, when you can shake off all that MRA* stuff and learn to see and feel for yourself. :)
What do you do when you're damned if you do and damned if you don't?
Step back from the dilemma.Is the choice based on someone else’s rules? If so, just refuse to play by them and craft a choice based on your own wishes or sense of what is right.If you must choose one option or the other, can a compromise be worked out?If not, then evaluate the consequences of each course of action and decide which you’re most willing to put up with.
What is the most memorable "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation you've experienced?
A father is scheduled to attend court to get some contact with his 5 year old son. The mother ended the marriage when the child was 14 months, and owing to exceptional circumstances, the father has had no contact with the son for over 3 years. The father would therefore be a total stranger to the son.The court appointed social services CAFCASS were instructed by the court in an earlier hearing to prepare a report. This is what they wrote:‘The child does not want to see his father. It would be a huge, scary worry for him. He does not want to get letters or anything at all from him. He said ‘just that would make me worried’. He did not have a message for his father and he did not want to write to the judge or for CAFCASS to do this for him. He wants the judge to make the decision that he does not have to see his father.’In the very next paragraph:‘I am very concerned that should the father be given the opportunity to see his son, he would very quickly stop contact because it would not progress on his terms. The father does not in my view appear to have any insight into how that might affect his son.’So, he’s damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t.The extraordinary thing is that for the past year, the mother has been keen to rekindle family life, she even expressed a desire to remarry, and she has told the man that their son wants to see him. The CAFCASS report said the child wanted to talk to his father.He believed this to be the case right up to the day of the hearing.However, CAFCASS wrote an ealier report which said he did not want to remarry her, plus the father of her younger child suddenly showed up and moved in with her, so he’s none to keen on her rekindling family life with her ex. Consequently, at the hearing she said she had no desire to rekindle family life.A recent article in the Guardian says that divorcing parents could lose children if they try to turn them against the partner. Measures are being trialed to prevent ‘parent alienation’ and penalties could include permanent loss of contact with the child.This ‘groundbreaking’ process is being trialled by none other than CAFCASS, and yet it is they who have done their utmost to alienate a 5 year old child from his father which I think is beyond despicable.
When were you in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario? How did you fare in the end?
I always seem to be there with someone or other.I always get passed it.Some have left indelible marks on my persona, but even those have faded.I am sure I've left a few marks of my own along the way.No one can know, besides the good Lord, where, upon whom and how deep the lines were drawn that scratched the varnish off the souls we said we loved and yet brutalized with words that could rip the skin off a crocodile at a 100 paces.Words… I learned that everyone has a set number of words. When we use them up, we die.I thought of a scrabble bag full of letters.Anyone who seeks to be helpful will get into these situations because we think we need help, but help doesn't help. It's a bit if a conundrum. The helpers get in the way of progress or finales or beginnings.If you happen to be able to light the fire that's needed to propel someone in their chosen direction, then you have helped. Most of the time the helper is blinded and the person being helped is deaf. So it's a hit and miss thing. The trick is to know, how long to keep striking matches and then, when to leave.I appreciate your question. I didn't expect to answer it this way.Best wishes and blessings,