Is It Wrong To Turn Someone Down Because You

Have you ever turned someone down for their race (dating)?

Literally? Like a person says they like you or they ask you out, and you give some excuse like say you have a boyfriend or you're from out of town, because you're uncomfortable dating their race? I've done this, and it always makes me feel bad, like, really bad inside, but I can't seem to stop doing it. Maybe it's a phobia or something? I'm serious. It always shocks me that I can actually do that to someone, but I do. :/

How do you turn down when someone asks your phone number?

Never feel guilty about not giving out your PERSONAL phone number. Just say, "Sorry, I don't give my number out" or "Sorry, I'm not interested". People know that when they ask there is a possibility of rejection. They will be fine. If they aren't, there's something wrong with them, and you're lucky you didn't involve yourself. Good luck.

P.S- For the real jackasses who can't take "No" for an answer, there's always this number: http://www.rejectionhotline.com

P.P.S.- Just because you've been flirting with someone doesn't obligate you to give out your number. You're having fun, and you may find out in the course of talking to the person that you're not as interested as you though you were. Leading a person on would be giving them your number and going out when you know you're not interested, or taking his number with no intention of calling.

P.P.P.S.- If you still need another reason not to give out your number to strangers, try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXPvN_OMZXc

I have no words to express my reaction.

How do you let someone down gently?

I suspect deep inside that you've already realized there's no "gentle" way to do it.

First, I'd look at the relationship. Is there any chance that the friendship is actually real love? Is it a relationship with romantic possibility, but you've just sort of blocked out that option because you were expecting something different or had your eye on someone else who is not panning out?

If you're committed to NOT having it be a romantic relationship, then you have to find some way to introduce some space between the two of you. While you can handle things as they are, she can't. You've suggested this has happened before, so the problem obviously isn't going away and your current solution is not working.

Whatever is going on between you is enticing her down that path towards what she hopes is a permanent romantic commitment. Just being with you is enough to give her mixed signals. She can't deal with that level of friendship.

I don't know the details of your friendship or physical arrangements. If you are living together to cut costs, you need to move out. If you are spending a lot of time together, you need to cut back that time and find other things to do with it. If you don't already have a girlfriend, start dating other people.

Your goal is to establish a hard boundary, and the boundary depends directly on where she finally can accept that you and she are not an item.

The sad thing for you is that you might have to sacrifice what friendship you have right now to make this happen, if she can't handle any contact.

Just make sure that you do this for her sake. You know she has no chance with you, and meanwhile she's missing other opportunities to find a real relationship. She's going to have nothing and no one if you don't draw the line where it needs to be drawn.

There's no easy way to say it to her or do it to her. Since you've broached the topic before, and she doesn't take hints well, you'll have to be forthright when you tell her you need to spend less time together.

I would expect her to plead in some way, or bargain with you, or try to change so that you don't have to do this. It's still just better, I think, it set hard limits on how much time you spend together (even if that time = 0, when all is said and done).

Think of her future, and yours as well.

Have you ever turn down someone for a date, and regret it later?

When I was in HS, a girl approached me in class and professed her desire to go out with me.

I was not as charming as I am now, not by a loooooooong shot.

Anyway I was so taken back, by what this beautiful girl said, that I rudely responded with the first idiotic thing that came into my head, which to make a long story short, I indicated I wasn't interested, ( I was actually)

So I blew it, and as we got older I regretted what I had done more and more.

Even now I wonder. . but enough about me. What about you?

Tell Matticus he WANTS to KNOW.