My parents said I'm a lost cause.?
This all started on a normal day, or at least what I can refer to as normal. Anyways we had an arguments about how I didn't do anything to help her out around the house. However the argument got pretty heated and after she left my room to talk to my dad, I heard her say "He is not a normal kid, he is a lost cause". I refused to keep listening because it was to much for my young teenage mind to process. I burst into uncontrollable tears, it was like a arrow to the heart. I have been in a depressed state for a while now, and her words didn't help me at all. she proceeds to tell my dad that she does not see me anywhere in life, except in a jail. I do have severe anger issues and struggle with depression and anxiety but does this justify such rough and hurtful expression? Somehow her words really got deep inside my head, and I'm having many different feelings; I'm filled with anger and hatred, yet I feel so vulnerable, weak and sad. Within a matter of an hour it all seemed to return to normal, or at least for them because I'm still sitting here in front of a computer trying to understand what just happen, and trying to arrange my thoughts.
I feel like I'm a lost cause?
I'm 26, single no kids, living with parents, got no job, been unemployed since forever. I dropped out of college. It's like everything i do it goes wrong in the end. I can't have last relationships for more than a month, because i don't see it happening It's like i can never going to have kids. I can't even have a best friends because i pushed him away. With jobs i can't last more than a week because they let me go. Yes i do drink and party now and then but IT'S not like i don't try with responsibility, i do i'm very dedicated with opportunities when they happen if anything i'm more focus on that. I got hired on Quiznos but i blew it on my first day like i said i'm very dedicated, but i know something might be wrong with me on how to handle things perhaps? I'm actually seeing my life go by without me and what bums me when i see my dreams go further away by the moment. I see my High school friends doing good in life and i'm ashamed of what to say of what i do in life, that i take care my sister kids? (which i do and for free). I heard my mom telling my aunt today about me that i don't go to school or have a job and that i sleep alot ( i have this sleeping problem since a teen i don't know what it is but i tend to sleep alot) and my aunt said to her to just kick me out. I do try to tell my mom but i don't think she understands if anything she hates it when i get a job for some reason. I get bummed out when it comes to money wise, like i can't buy things that i want because i don't have money, then i'm ashamed to ask my mom when i do she gives me very little. I appreciate what she gives me but i want to buy things like a camera or necessities that i need a flat iron for my hair and 20 dollars is not going to cover it. I want to have my own cash that i earn for me because i never get to do that. Am i selfish on that? I really have nothing to live for seriously i mean there is no reason for it. Am i a lost cause?
When was the moment you decided your child was a lost cause (naughty)?
I have a kid thats been spending the past couple years behind bars in prison for drugs, and various other crimes, and is due to be released either at the end of this year or early next year(depends on the PB, he has a meeting with them in May, if approved, he released no later than Sept, but if not, he times out in March).In another post I mentioned how he sent me hate mail and threatened bodily harm to me and to destroy my possessions. Do I think he is a lost cause? Not in the least. I still love him as much as I did the day he came into my life, and know that it was the drugs/alcohol that had temporarily turned him into what he became. But thanks to getting caught early and sentenced to what he was, he got the help he desperately needed (the same help he refused to accept from my wife and I several times). Yes his life did not go the way I would have hoped, but he is young enough to put this behind him and move onto what I hope he could do, and he is trying to do just that now.So even though my son has done some terrible things to others, my family does not consider him a lost cause.
Is it foolish to fight for a lost cause?
"Cause" is a dense term. "Fighting" and in the process, creating conflicts has never solved any purpose or let me say, seldom solved any purpose.Let me split "causes" into two categories:1.Individual Cause:This is when you're fighting for yourself. But as mentioned in the question, the cause is already lost. So, why will you fight for it? For your ego or your self respect? Both are intangible things and even if you fight for them, you will just extinguish the fire in your heart. Nothing tangible to gain from it. But, suppressing one's anger is again not a good thing. So, do value your self esteem but don't fight for it. Make the object realise the importance you owe to your self esteem. Just make him/her/them realise. Fighting will never serve any purpose. If you make the object realise the importance of your individual cause, he is more likely to empathise as compared to you fighting for it. And the cause is also more likely to see the light of the day. 2. Others cause:This one is wonderful. Here, you are fighting for someone else. Much more beautiful thing. But just check that you don't have many strings attached to you. See that your family isn't affected or you don't land yourself in a bad mental,financial, physical condition. Even if your family is supportive, it is you who will still have to look after them. Anyways, if all's well and you still are fighting for others, make sure that you are "dealing and managing" the cause and not "fighting" for it. Dealing or negotiating will give you a shred of a chance of digging out something substantial out of a cause, even if it's a lost cause. Fighting will never.Fighting/ Creating conflicts has never or seldom solved any purpose.
Why do women like lost causes?
I don't meant this to sound pejorative at all... it's something I've been curious about for some time. I notice a lot of women love lost causes. (Not saying all women, but most that I see). They go after men they know are a mess financially and with their responsibilities. A stable man bores them. Also, they would run over a person to save an animal. Or anytime there's a disaster, they want to dump lots of money into donations to third world countries they don't know anything about. It's not a question of are women this way, or are they not... it's more of a why they are this way? I've never understood it and, to be fair, it is narrowed down to the women I've known in my lifetime.
Feel like my life's a lost cause and no one can do anything about it?
My mom forced me to go to a counselor yesterday (I'm nearly 16) because I've been a complete mess for a long time. I don't know if it's anxiety or depression or what; personally, I think I'm just a lost cause. I hate school, I never go to school, I'll never be able to get a good job, so why not just kill myself now, spare some time and trouble? I've missed like 16 days of school so far this year, although I've maintained my 4.0 gpa... but anyway, the counselor suggested I see a doctor, make sure nothing else is going on, and get a prescription for something if I need it. The problem is, I'm scared to death. I'm in tears just thinking about going to the doctor this afternoon. I hate doctors, they freak me out, they don't know me, they're going to ask me all these uncomfortable questions that I can't answer unless I start crying. And what if I find out something really bad is wrong with me? I'm really scared. I want to be a normal teenager, but I can't.. I really can't. And I'm scared to death for this doctor's appointment....
Is my boyfriend just a lost cause?
This is who he is. He is not going to change for you and you do not have the power to make him change. If he decides someday he wants to do something else, he will, but you need to decide if you love him and want to be with him just the way he is. If you don't (and it sounds like you don't) you two are not a good fit for each other and it's time to move on.