Why do I want to be a girl? Is there something wrong with me?
I posted this one other time and someone suggested that maybe I should post it again cause it didn't show up. Please don't be mean to me about this. I'm 14 and I dress up like a girl when no one else is around. Part of me is really really embarrassed about it and part of me likes it. I guess that when I'm alone as Taylor I just feel so much better. When I think about what I'm doing after, I don't really feel together; I feel really bad. My mom has a couple of boxes in the attic of hand me downs for my sister from our cousin. These are a couple of the clothes that my sister either hasn't grown into yet or doesn't like. And this is really bad I know, but I use my sister's clothes in her dresser and make sure I put them back exactly like I found them. I'm not too tall or too big so I don't stretch anything out. She'd probably kick my butt and call me a creep if she knew and I wouldn't blame her. I'm just too embarrassed to take the money I have and buy my own stuff. And even if I did buy it somewhere, I'm not sure how I'd hide it or what I'd get. I get left alone in the house for a few hours on weekends completely alone. I dress up then and I do the dishes and stuff like I'm supposed to and all the other chores I can do inside. I'm really scared that my mom might come home early one day so I watch out for her car. Even though I'm scared someone will find out I'm still happier dressed up like a girl than I am any other time. I've thought about this a lot and I don't know what to do. What's wrong with me? You're not supposed to put on your sister's clothes when she's not there; even I think that's kinda creepy. But I get picked on enough in school for being small already without going to a store to buy girl's clothes. I can't buy stuff online either cause you need a credit card for that and I don't want to ask my parents for theirs. I know it's wrong and it would probably make my sister really really mad at me, but I don't know what else I'm supposed to do or why I feel better as a girl. What am I supposed to do to make this better?
I don't like sports is something wrong with me?
I don't like sports, any of it, and I'm a guy. Does this make me weird or abnormal? Because I certainly feel that way and that I'm ostracized because I'm not into sports. I don't care about it, never have. I'm not fat or lazy, I do go outside and get exercise. I seriously hate sports, hate playing them, hate hearing about them, and I hate it when I am forced to watch them on TV. I don't understand how people are so into watching a bunch of guys tackle each other or throw balls around or fight over getting balls. I especially don't get how people get SO into it, like screaming at the TV screen over a fumble or something, I can understand if they were betting money but most of the people I know who do this are just pissed off....over a sports game on TV. Why do people idolize people who just play with balls and wrestle each other? It really affects me because I hate it when people ask me what my favorite team is or who I think is good on the Cavs this year and I just have no idea what to say and it's really embarrassing. I hate when people ask me questions like "did you see the game last night," or "did you see that pass that so and so made?" and I have no idea who that is or what they are talking about. The only things I know about athletes are their legal troubles I see in the news. Do I have to pretend to like sports to fit in? Should I just force myself to get into it and watch ESPN all the time and memorize statistics and who was traded to who and so on? I worry this will effect my chances of getting a good job or getting promotions or just fitting in, in general.
Why do I feel like I'm always doing something wrong?
Hello, Farida!It sounds like there's a deep rooted reason as to "why" you feel that way. It most likely stems from your childhood and it has subconsciously been with you all along. It presents itself in your everyday life dealings.I'd advise you to seek "counseling" and pose your question there. A professional counselor will implement the process of "inquiry." Asking you questions that will trigger your childhood memories - bringing about a resolve.You can implement the method of "inquiry" on yourself. It might bring about some resolve, but I'd strongly advise you to seek counseling sessions in order to get to the root cause, so you can finally heal and live a "healthy life!"Self InquiryWhen things are going well and you start to feel you hurt someone or did something wrong. Observe your emotions. Don't let the feeling overwhelm you and act out in fear or panic. Sit, relax and observe your "feelings" ask yourself "why do I feel this way?"You need to become a "thinker" and put into practice "reasoning" rather than allowing your emotions to rule you. Ask yourself questions. Ok, I feel like I've hurt someone. Well did you? If you think about what it is that you're feeling good about or the thing that is going good for you, and determine if you did hurt someone, surly you will know if you have hurt someone, or not.Same process for feeling that you've done something wrong. Reason about it. Back track your steps. Think about what you've done and determine if you've done anything wrong. You're smart enough to draw sound "conclusions" regarding your actions.But determining "why" you feel that you've hurt someone or did something wrong, might run deeper than you implementing the method of reasoning ; since, you can draw conclusions via "reasoning" and find that you haven't hurt anyone or did anything wrong, yet, still feel that way. If you do, you need to seek counseling.
Why do I feel like I did something wrong or that it’s my fault that my son is special needs (autistic)? Does anyone else ever feel this way?
Society, up until the last few years, blamed parents for any deficit or illness with their child. They particularly blamed mothers. Some still do today. It's an attitude and belief system that is disappearing; it can't go fast enough. You did nothing wrong. There is absolutely no way to know which genes will be turned on in a child. It's a hard thing to overcome, the attitude that was drilled into people for a very long time. It doesn't help that the attitude of many regarding autism has been "rather dead than autistic." That seems to be the rallying cry of a lot of anti-vaxxers. See if you can get some counselling and / or parenting classes. This is something you don't want to let fester as it hurts you emotionally and mentally. Counselling can help you to work to realise that you are not at fault. There is no "at fault;" it just is what it is. Help yourself so you can be there for both yourself and your child. A child needs a parent that is okay with themselves. It will help you to be able to advocate effectively for your child and your family's needs.*Edited: Some spelling and grammar corrections.
Do you feel like you where meant for something more? please help me?
Okay. So tonight its REALLY getting to me, so I began to research and found out people other than me feel this way. Ugh. Okay so here is my problem. I simply feel like I am meant to do something BIG in my life, but not like a doctor to cure cancer. I feel like its supposed to be like.. almost magical, or adventurous. I KNOW that sounds nerdy. But Honestly I'm quite the oppisite. I'm a fifteen year old male who has friends and skates. One thing that might cause this, My father comitted suicide when i was about 8 or 9. I have hatred towards him, considering I never had the oppertunity to meet him. He gave up on us. And for that I despise him. Anyway, I feel like I have a destiny. But for some reason, I can't find my way and fulfill it. I even tried "meditating" and trying to speak to someone, or something. But nothing has responded. I would rather drop out and go sail the ocean for the rest of my life. I feel so angry all the time that this is happening to me. I see things. Now this is where it gets kinda creepy. I see things ALL the time EVERY day out of the corner of my eyes. But Everytime I go to look what it is it escapes my vision. I look up at the stars and beg the universe to do something about this. Do I have a disease, or an illness? I feel like this life is just a waste, I would rather experiance the afterlife then this life. Its boring and cruel. I wish I lived in a different time period. What is happening to me. I feel like there is something chewing on my mind. Ugh. Please. help me Is there some type of orginization that I can join, that just travels around on a ship or something and just travels. If this life is just School, Work, Death. Then I'm out. Am I meant to follow my fathers footsteps?? What if I have the same illness? God. This is so frustrating.
I have this guilty conscious but I haven't done anything wrong.?
I've always believed that "guilt" is the reasoning that is built within us to identify what wrong we have done to others or ourselves. However, as I've gotten older, I've realized that we sometimes bring on a hyper critical view of our actions and cause our own fears, rejection and of course guilt. It sounds like you might be doing that as well. It's a huge step to identify when we feel the "need to beat ourselves up" however we choose to do it. We need to let it go and forgive ourselves for whatever it is we feel we fall short on. Even if it is something so small it shouldn't have been even on the radar. In cases like yours where you're just beating yourself up with no rhyme or reason (been there too) you're going to have to go through a process of forgiving yourself to get over it despite you have no clue what that is. I know it's hard to believe but people with a greater conscious find this is the most difficult thing they must live with. Good luck to you.
Does anyone else hate valentine's day?
I have never liked Valentines Day, even when I had boyfriends. It always felt over commercialized to me. I think that showing love to someone whether it is a family member or husband shouldn't be singled out to just one day. Plus, I don't like the whole "pushiness" behind it that tries make singles feel like they "have" to have a significant other or be in a relationship in order to be normal. I'm 29, and perfectly happy to be single the rest of my life. Everyday, I am discovering reasons not to marry. My family has this dillusional belief that "Mr. Right" is going to someday waltz into my life no matter what. It drives me nuts. When Valentine's Day roles around, everyone at works always wants to know what I'm dong that night, or the question, "Aren't you lonely?" or "You're pretty and young, I don't know why you're not married yet." I used to let that bother me, and make me feel like there was something wrong with "me." So, all the hearts, teddy bears and sweets just make me sick on Valentines Day. A lot of money gets wasted on this day as well. I plan on spending my Valentine's Day with my Boston Terrier, reading a good Dean Kootz book, and working on my master's degree.