Do you find it offensive when someone says something bad about your country?
No. Unless it’s something that involves a violent threat.Everyone has a right to their opinion. If they are expressing their opinion as fastsvehemently, over the top, trying to incite people to anger, or with the remark “everyone says”, I will remind them it is their opinion, which is fine, but actually not a fact. And that “everyone says” is just not the case. Hopefully, this will bring them down from spotlighting themselves by hating on our country. In the case of generalizations, I mention that is a gross generalization and not really accurate. They may actually be saying things that are true, but tough to hear (like the political craziness right now). But, historically, I doubt if any country has been 100% unscathed by craziness in leaderships over the years. It’s not that I am offended, as much as I don’t want this “conversation” to ruin a nice time or anger others. Otherwise, I just consider the source.
When someone says something offensive, how do you handle it and what would be the most confident way of handling offense?
It depends on the situation and your personality. For example if they say ‘we should go and kill some people’ then you can just say nothing or you could tell them it’s a bad idea or you could even warn the police saying they might be plotting to kill some people.If you mean like they say something like ‘I want to chew a piece of shit flavoured chewing gum’ you could just observe them doing that too or even video them whilst they do it.If they say something more abstract like ‘I believe everyone is a pineapple’ then again you could just ignore them. Or keep observing what they’re saying.Really you can say anything in response. You could even pretend to agree with them about whatever they say. Or perhaps you actually do agree with their offensive statement and you don’t have to pretend.I wonder which specific circumstance of offence you are thinking about?If they are just making hypothetical opinions like ‘everyone knows XYZ’ you could either refute their argument or you could agree with them or you could just observe to see what they do next.You could try and guide the conversation to see if there’s anything you agree on in any of these situations. It feels nice to agree with someone sometimes
How can I say something potentially offensive about someone to them without offending them?
More so than approach I'm concerned about your motive. If your motivation for having these conversations is that you care and are concerned about the person them start with that concern not your diagnosis. That would require compassion for the person. What you've typed as examples sounds a lot like someone who just wants to give someone a piece of their mind. That's the wrong attitude and I'd encourage you to check your motives at the door. Abuse, broken homes, lack of direction and over sensitivity are all serious issues that can't be resolved in one conversation. They require that the hearer process the problem fully (its origins and seeing its affects on their lives and a decision made to change) before action can happen. So maybe starting with questions rather than a preachy arrogant diagnosis would be better. "Why do you think you haven't taken action on any of your goals yet?" "Where do you see your life headed in the next 5 years?""What affects do you think your abusive relationship has had on your current relationships?" "Do you believe that coming from a broken home has prevented you from trusting?" Questions open the door to dialogue or they let you know the person isn't ready to engage on the topic. It's not your right or responsibility to go telling people the hard and offensive things just because you think it's time.
How do you take back something really mean you just said to someone?
Start by being clear [in your own mind]* about why you said the thing you now regret, and own that. Meanness is weak. It comes from a bad place that you need not indulge - think on how that happened. Don't do that again.Apologies require a certain bravery. It's easy to ignore your gaff, or play it off like you don't care, but you do. I'm so glad you do.*edit for clarity: you should be aware of your own motives, but you should NOT burden the person you offended with your reasons, intentions, rationalizations, justifications, and musings on the state of modern society that contributed to your gaffe. It's not their problem.Sincerely but concisely apologize. If the explanation would help, provide one, but keep it to a sentence or two - this is about you taking responsibility and minimizing offense. It is not a time for your victim to hear your protracted confession.Please don't say, "I didn't think you could hear me." That may be true, but suggests that the person's reputation wouldn't be safe with you - if that was true at the time, make sure it's not going to be true going forward. Repent.Once you clarify that you know you said something unkind, regret it, and apologize, stop there. Be humble. Accept whatever they hand back to you, because you're sincerely sorry for what you did. Don't try to justify, further defend, or minimize what happened. Just say what you need to say - that you're sorry and regret what you did, and then stop. This last bit is where many apologies go wrong...the apologizing party puts their foot in it and doesn't know how to stop. Just stop talking.Once the offended party responds, you should be able to determine the next step. That typically falls into the "are we okay?" transition to reconciliation, or the "respect their space" contrite retreat. If it's not the former, it's the latter. The latter feels rotten, but doing the right thing now will leave room for reconciliation later. Put some daylight between you and your error and let them come around if/when they're ready.I know it feels terrible to discover you've been the source of offense. It's not the end of days, though. Everyone finds themselves in your shoes at one time or another. Be brave - it'll pass.
Is it offensive if you call someone an old fart?
Only if you say it to their face
What is the point of someone saying "no offense" when you get offended anyway?
theyll be like, "no offense, but you look like ****." like really are you just gonna suddenly be like "ohh, i was gonna get offended, but since you said no offense, it's all good." and the worst part is, you KNOW theyre going to say something offensive to you as soon as they say "no offense"
When you say "No offense" before you say something rude, does that make it okay?
"No offense" is really just another way of saying "I'm about to insult you, but don't get mad."