How do I stop feeling insecure about my face and body? I've been with my boyfriend for a while now and I just don't feel like I'm attractive enough to even be seen with him.
Honestly, I feel this question in my soul, man. I just went through something that I think I should share. Hopefully it helps.I’m overweight, and gender dysphoric. I look like a dyke on a good day. It bothers me, since a lot of it is from a disease I’m still treating, but it’s not like any one knows that. I’m just a fatty, brawny chick to any one who sees me.He’s tall, fit, handsome, broad shouldered, has long wavy locks, and well dressed. We get along really well, but I know his taste. He likes thin, fit, tall women, and has never been with a man, nor has he ever shown interest in that.I felt like he could do better. It was killing me to let it weigh on my shoulders like that, so I opened up to him that should he ever wish to leave if my body changes too much for his liking in my transition, he could. I wanted to stress he had no reason to feel obligated to me, that I wasn’t a floating personality and I accept that sexual attraction is needed in a relationship for it to work well. I told him it’s never been in his nature to be attracted to men, so it’s okay should he leave at any point.He didn’t let me finish. He looked so hurt. He asked why on earth would I say such a thing, and I told him I just knew I wasn’t up to par. It will take time for me to get into shape and back in good health again, and though I’m working on it, it’s just… It felt off. Like he was getting the short end of the stick.He stopped what he was doing and held me mid-sentence. He said, “I’d have a hard time finding any one better than you. I love you. For you. And who you want to be. I’m staying here.”We talked about it more in depth. My weight doesn’t bother him. He just wants to have fun with me, he wants me to be happy. He sees it, he admits it’s not his taste, but also acknowledges that he sees me working out and dieting and hopes I’m not doing it for his sake.I never was. I want to see me be who I dream myself of being- even more so now that I have a partner who only wants to see me achieve it. I have shaken the idea from my head, since that’s every body else talking, or my insecurities talking-His words are more important, and more true, than that.Talk to your partner. Ask him how he feels. And remember, his words are more honest than your doubts.
I've been feeling so insecure and depressed about everything, how can I get out of this void?
Hmm ... I think that feeling is pretty natural, given what you're going through. Asking that question right now is a bit like asking when your hand will stop hurting while someone is still hitting it with a hammer. You need to find someplace that is emotionally safe to live, and recover. Living with people who attack you will sap your strength away. It takes all your energy just to stand in one place, never mind move forward. Start planning to leave, if at all possible. Do anything you can. Even working at a boring or tiring job and barely making rent will probably feel healthier than living with your parents. Don't look back, except to gather the lessons you've learned along the way. I can tell that you aren't wasting these experiences. You've been thinking things through and learning from your mistakes. Since you are, already, then just keep it up. Experiment on life.Share the lessons you've already learned when you can. It will help you keep them in mind, and you'll help people, too. Treasure the friends you have, even at a distance ... and not merely people called friends because they happen to know you, but the people who like who you are and want to know you. Remember their complements, believe them, and keep them in the front of your mind. Your parents are wrong. You already know this. So stop saying what they say about you and start just being who you are. Oh ... and talk about yourself the way you wish others would talk about you, please. You don't need the closest person to you saying such things. It's not very kind, is it? Choose the best of yourself and focus on it. A side benefit is that you'll start acting on those parts of you more, too. Whatever you focus on tends to be what you do...I hope you find a safe place for yourself, soon. Courage. The future is full of possibilities.
How do you self love? I’ve been feeling insecure about my body and looks mainly. Is there any way I can embrace it?
Feed yourself positive thoughts for every negative thought about your body that comes to mind. Love yourself for who you are, don't underestimate yourself for what your not. Change what you feel needs changing and if not then accept that this is who you are deciding to be and love the beauty of yourself in every aspect. Your more than your looks!
I feel insecure while speaking English?
If you move to the USA and start speaking like them, you WILL have an accent. Americans speak with American accents, British people have British accents, Canadians have Canadian accents, and Australians have Australian accents - in fact each of the English speaking countries has multiple regional accents, some vary wildly, especially in the UK where it's more like an accent zoo - a country where there are people who live at one end of the island, who might have some difficultly understanding people who live at the other end of the same island. All English speakers have an accent - every single one of us!! There is no such thing as an English speaker who doesn't have an accent. There is no accentless form of English. You shouldn't worry about speaking English with an accent even if it is a foreign accent. English is a popular language all over the world, and English speakers know that foreigners have foreign accents - we expect it, and we can usually attune our ears to it quite easily. Sometimes foreign accents or unusual accents can sound exotic to native English speakers, and we find it interesting - even sexy! Would Italian waiters sound like real Italian waiters if they sounded like an American? Would French people sound sexy if the spoke with British accents? Would it sound right if a Canadian came up to you and said "G'day mate!" - NO!! So why not just keep your own accent and be proud of who you are. Having a foreign accent never stopped Arnold Schwartzenegger from having a successful life in America - so why should it give you a problem?
Is it abnormal for me to feel very insecure and constantly covering up my body with someone I’ve been with for 9 years? I always find him on the internet looking up women that I look nothing like.
Body insecurity is not abnormal, even among women most people would deem as “beautiful.”That said, you should never feel insecure just because your partner is looking at other beautiful women. Does a rose get insecure just because you look at tulips occasionally?You are beautiful in your way and other women are beautiful in their own way. There is no reason to be insecure just because your partner appreciates other kinds of beauty. It does not diminish what he feels for you.
My boyfriend is bisexual, and I'm feeling a bit insecure. Is this wrong?
I am straight, and he's told me he was bi about two months ago. I am grateful that he did, but I've been feeling insecure ever since. I know he won't cheat, but I have the fear of what if he lost interest in me and break up with me. I know people say I shouldn't worry, and that he chose me out of everyone else. But just knowing that there's this part of him that like guys is just alarming to me. I know I'd get response as in that he gave that up to be with you, but that's why it hurts, that your partner had to give up their love of something to be with you. I admit that I am jealous, that can't fulfill both sides since I'm only a female. I guess what I'm asking is, are there any other people (preferable straight people who havea bi partner and are faithful) who've felt this way before? Having a bi partner and feeling bad because there's this part of them you can't satisfy? I'd also like some advice on how to help him explore (no third party plz) his sexuality. And even how to feel less insecure I just want him to be happy, I love him and I want what's best for him
Why do guys cheat? Feeling insecure after my boyfriend cheated.?
I've been with a guy for almost six months. He cheated and left his exgirlfriend for me. (so yes, I knew what I was getting into). Our relationship started over the summer and we loved spending time with each other. We were inseparable. I knew there was no way that he was cheating on me because he worked a 9-5 and I was pretty much living at his house. When school started I let him know that I wouldn't be spending as much time at his house because I need to manage my 4.0 GPA. The more time we spent apart the more controlling he got, and when we were together he needed to go through my texts, skype, twitter and facebook. It was getting too much. I told him that he needed to change. I set up a therapy session for him to get tips on how to deal with his insecurities. He didn't change at all it was the same thing the next day. So we broke up. We were still cool, we talked during school he was still kissing me and hugging me and he slept over my house that night. (I slept on the couch and he slept in my bed) He lied to me about where he was going so I unfollowed him on Twitter.. after that he reactivated his Facebook and started adding all of these slutty girls from the town he lives in. He hooked up with 2 girls that night. He asked both of them to sleep over his house. It was the lowest blow to my heart. All of this happened a month ago. I forgave him and our relationship has been perfect ever since. But now I'm left with all these insecurities. The girl he cheated on me with literally had F size boobs. I don't have F's, so it's really eating me away inside that if he was happy with my body that he wouldn't have cheated. I just feel really inferior to every girl now.. and this has really damaged my self esteem. From a 3rd person perspective, help me out. Give me the harsh reality.
I feel so insecure without makeup? It's controlling my life?
I'm 20 and I have been wearing makeup since I was 15/16. I don't cake it on, but I wear a good amount of it. I NEVER leave the house without makeup on and I don't think I ever can. I feel SOOO insecure without it. I've been with my boyfriend for two years and I just cannot let him see me without concealer under my eyes at least. I feel like I'm hiding a huge secret and I know that one day he will see me without makeup and the thought of that just makes me want to cry. I hate feeling like this. What do I do? Any advice or similar experiences? Thanks so much.