Why am I the one feeling guilty over reporting my abusive ex to the police and staying a cooperative witness?
A few months back I was involved in a violent incident with my abusive ex-boyfriend. I broke up with him after the incident and then later reported it to the police and went through the whole court process, etc. He recieved his second conviction of domestic battery as a result. I fully cooperated with the police, the prosecutors, etc. At the time I felt like this was the right thing to do. However, now that it is all over and said and done, I find myself feeling guilty for going to the police in the first place. My parents did have to persuade me to go, as I was hesitant at the time (feeling confused, frightened, and unsure over the whole incident). For some reason, I can't get it out of my head that I should have given him another chance. It was not his first time being physically violent with me and he was abusive both verbally and emotionally to me. This incident that led to me going to the police was the worse he had ever done to me and at the time, I felt that he had crossed too many lines. I was scared of him. So, why is it that I am feeling guilty? I had one of his friends basically tell me that I was a terrible person for doing this to HIM. Essentially, I was made out to be the bad guy in the situation. I guess I let that all get in my head. The logical side of my brain knows that I did the right thing in reporting him and getting a restraining order, etc. However, the emotional side of me wishes that I did give him another chance. I know that I definitely made some very poor decisions in my life. I never beat anyone up, but have made regretful choices, which I suppose makes me feel guilty for putting his decision on the spot and got him a conviction as a result. Why am I feeling like this? Is this normal? My thoughts keep contradicting themselves!
Dream about abusive ex-boyfriend?
You could be experiencing a type of post traumatic syndrome from the abuse you suffered from him. You could be thinking part of the abuse was brought on by you. Try to let go of the whole situation and move on with the fellow you have now.
How do I get over the abusive ex who still haunts my dreams?
Thanks for the A2A.You are being held back by your fears of the past. You need to battle your past thoughts into open.Your dreams are coming to you because you still have those memories which play a video tape when you're asleep. These memories are coming up in the form of dreams, because you are still thinking about it. You need to end it.First of all, start saying to yourself that you are more confident than ever, and that you are happy with yourself. Shed the skin of old thoughts. Fill your mind with positive thoughts about the present and the future. Even if your mind does go to the past experiences, just compare yourself then and now. See how you moved past it all and broke the shackles of your pain.Filling your mind with good, positive thoughts would eventually give better fodder to your mind to dream about. Second, stop finding the symbolism of your dreams. Modern dream theories suggest that dreams are nothing but random collection of bits of memory. That's why they don't make sense. Your thinking about the meanings of your dreams is basically causing yourself to think more about your past, and thereby, causing you to create this cycle. You need to just focus on what is there and what is to come.Indulge in activities where you don't have time to think about negative things. Have a day of hard work and you'll sleep like a baby - you'll feel refreshed and better than ever. Forget about everything. Just keep on adding new and better experiences in your life instead of thinking about the wrong choices and bad incidents. Every one has those moments. How calmly and patiently you move past them will decide how much time you'll save not thinking about things that have no effect on you anymore.Best of luck!
Is it better to live alone or live with a controlling, abusive person?
I would much rather be alone, than be miserable with someone else. It sounds to me like your ex-mother-in-law has control issues too! Those are the same kinds of comments that men make to control their wives! If you do not have kids with this man, and there is no reason to talk to your ex-mother-in-law, I would totally cut her out of your life. She is only feeding your insecurities. You are so much better without that in your life! You need to totally separate yourself from that and you will start to feel better and more secure.You do not need a man to make you happy! You need to figure out what makes you happy on your own. Try out some hobbies, or take some classes, make friends! Lean on your friends and family for support right now and you will get through this. One day you will look back and wonder what you were ever so worried about... Good luck!!
Why do I miss my abusive ex?
sweetie I went through the same thing. I was in a relationship of 3 years and no I didn’t get physically abused but I did get verbally and mentally. It was so hard for me to leave him I mean 3 years- how could I have lived without him. He left such an imprint on my life and I really loved him. But i guess that’s the hard thing isn’t it? Knowing that you really did love someone and put so much time and tears into them saying “maybe it will change next time maybe he’ll be different” to all of it ending in disappointment and getting crushed. Yeah feels like shit. But, here’s the good news. If you aren’t together with him this is your time to stop focusing on him, yes easier said then done. You miss him because you are probably lonely and you don’t have that someone with you anymore but in the end you just need to love yourself and heal and things will get better. If you know he was abusive good job you are already on your way to a good start of recovery and you should know not to go back. Just hang with friends more and delete everything EVERYTHING going back and looking at memories and texts will make u miss him more. Also, just don’t think too much into him. One broken road will lead you to someone special who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Soon someone will treat you like you are the world to them and would never even think about hurting you. Look forward to that instead of looking behind on past memories.
Should I give my abusive ex husband another chance?
We were together for 15 years; now we're 36. We have a son and a daughter ages 9 and 7. My ex was verbally/emotionally and has choked me over 7 years ago, 3 times, but hasn't been physical since. He used to call me names, yell in my face, and just ignore me and put his "people" before me. Controlled the finances but gave me money, but would "dock" me if the cleaning/cooking wasn't to his standards! I left for the fourth time and filed for divorce last fall. Had no money so I did my own divorce and got alimony/child support even though he fought me...and I got full custody. That was in Dec. of "08"... Things were rocky at first, but now we have become very cordial and he is a good dad to our kids. The issue is, he came to me on Memorial Day and pretty much poured his heart out about how he's so sorry about how he treated me, he misses his family, he wants me back and he is miserable without me.. I have been thinking of him too and I wished he would have fought for us before the divorce.. I have agreed to go out with him and our kids sometimes, but this has turned into an every weekend thing, where we'll go out and it always ends with us having sex..I dated a few other guys and it seems they either wanted to "hook up", or were immature etc. I also don't really want guys around my kids bc I don't trust them. Plus it seems guys just want to use single mothers for sex and I am just not down with that. I have too many responsibilities to play games. I have considered giving him a chance but bc he is their dad, I am used to him(the good side of him), and I am struggling financially bc I have my own place and I can't afford it. I do miss the good and him, and he's being extra sweet. I have even tested him and he is still nice; it feels weird. I also would feel kinda stupid for being back with him...bc i felt good about leaving like i did and standing up for myself. I feel like I couldn't live with him and I don't want to live without him. I do care for him still and I am trying to forgive..but should I give him another chance. Btw, I am not the same person I was before I left him, and I would not put up with anyone abusing me again, not even him..and he's well aware of that.
My ABUSIVE EX boyfriend wll NOT leave me alone..what should I do? Need more answers please!?
Well I'm gonna be honest about everyone..even though I told my ex that I don't wanna be with him, I keep telling him to stop texting my phone, calling, coming here, etc..he will not listen to me. He keeps calling me "babe, my girl" and he tells me that he loves me, and no matter how much I tell him we arn't together, and he tells me to dummy up and I just sa 'Im not your gf, we're just friends, I don't wanna be with you, because you always abuse me, and you say you will change but you never will change" And he says "Well, you cant get rid of me i love you and I always will my girl" thats what my ex always SAYS! And He gets annoying. But now..like..I have feelings for another guy..we always talk, he calls me, and makes me happy when he calls, and at times we hang out, but we dont hug or kiss or anything. We started dating last month, and hes so sweet, and caring and honest to me . But for some reason..I feel like I'm cheating even though, me and my abusive ex broke up :( And I don't kow why I'm feeling like this. Like my ex doesnt deserve me because he pulled my hair, hit me really hard, he hit me like 8 times on my leg one time. And I dont know..I feel like I'm cheating even though we broke up..am I a bad person for dating someone who I reallly like????? Like he isnt the kind of guy who abusives girls he told me that guys who girls are just stupid and he said he'd never treat me the way my ex treated me :( Should I go back with my ex, or should I just stay with the one I'm with?? And honestly...I LOVE talking to the guy I'm with now, and he makes me so damn happy . But I dont kow what to do..my ex wont leave me alone no matter how much I tell him . What should I do????? Like my ex did bad things behind my back. He signed up for 2 dating sites before, he was sexting a 13 year old girl, hes 19, and he took a pic of his privet part and sent it to her..he did that stuff behind my back, and he also jerked it on cam. Im behing honest guys, sorry, but I dont wanna lie. thats what my ex did behind my back, and he abused me alot, bites me, pulles my hair, hits me, tries to tell me to stop talking to the guy I really really like, and the guy likes me alot too . But I dont know what to do I feel like im a bad person for dating the new guy. am I a bad person??