Is there anyone out there that can help me keep no contact from my toxic ex?
I don’t think it’s anyone out there that can “help” you break away from a toxic ex, that has to come from inside you. I’ll let you in on something. It is the human condition to continue doing something until we are TIRED of the outcome. I would consistently end things and pick them back up again until I got TIRED. I mean emotionally drained to the point where I could no longer bring myself to make it work. I was depleted.You will also get tired. You will get tired of being played, unappreciated, and neglected. Clearly if you called your ex “toxic” there is a reason. No contact isn’t something someone forces or helps you out with. It’s a survival tactic that you naturally do when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Why does an ex fling keep in contact?
I dated this guy for 2 months when i was 20. We were never exclusive, we never had sex. Im 22 now and he still contacts me every once in awhile to ask how i am. Im just surprised bc if he never contacted me id probaly forget he existed. I dont have feelings for him im just shocked why hed keep contact if he was a jerk when we dated. any idea why?
Why should we not keep contact with an ex even if she wants to remain in touch?
Of course there are those folk who loved and lived a good and wonderful relationship; but, it ended naturally. It is nice when it can be that way; but, for most, it is nowhere near that easy a task. Yet, they force either themselves and/or their EX’s to at least remain friends. They may do that as it seems a logical thing to do with someone who shared such a big part of your life. But alas, not everyone’s relationships end on a high note. In fact, they end in acrimony, and there is usually one who just cannot accept the split or loss in their life. It is for those, that remaining as friends can be even more difficult than what led to their broken relationship.Don’t even try to remain friends where one cannot accept the split or resolve their feelings. Don’t remain friends with a known narc, physical or mental abuser or any other circumstance that you know will cause you any problems with your moving on.The most important reason of all - although you may feel comfortable being friends with a former partner after a successful split, your future partner should never have to be confronted with your bringing your EX along for a ride in your relationship. It is demeaning and cruel. Although your partner will put their best face forward, they are always left wondering. Although you may believe you have no plans to act on it, your partner knows all too well that EX’s seek each other out like blood hounds. And, given the right circumstances, can fall back into a reasonable facsimile of a relationship that they may seem unaware of; but the partner recognizes the intimacy of their moments. Have respect for your current partner and leave EX’s out of it.
Why does my narcissist ex keep contacting me after no contact?
It’s important for a narcissist to reestablish control somehow. If they didn’t wrench every last ounce of energy out of you and THEN toss your lifeless emotional body at the side of the road like a strangled hooker, they think they are as worthless and as meaningless as they feel on the inside. Sorry for the graphic example, but it really is like that on an emotional level. They will NOT accept that you’ve just made a choice on your own. Until now, you’ve belonged to them as their own personal play thing to torture and wound whenever they felt like it. You are nothing more than a dirty stuffed toy that they’ve “loved” so much they drug it around with them everywhere [except when something more interesting came along and they dropped you wherever they were standing while they went and did that instead].Timing and how much terrain you share with them has a lot to do with whether or not a narcissist will let go. If you still have friends in common; a city, etc. then having you running loose revealing all of their horrible secrets is a liability for them and they know it. But having set a boundary it is of supreme importance to you that you not allow it to be broken. If you do, you will have much more difficulty setting that boundary next time and they will respect it even less the next time than they do right now, because you will have shown them once again that you’re ridiculous. They are testing to see how serious you are about it. Something inside of them simply does NOT believe that you mean business—-and for most survivors of narcissistic abuse—-why should they believe us? We’ve always let them pillage our boundaries before. Hold the line my friend. It gets easier over time.
How do you find will power to keep no contact with your ex girlfriend because she's moved on but you still love her?
Do a lot of physical exercise, do something positive for yourself. Do a makeover, improve your appearance. Pursue your hobbies and talk to other people, make new friends, improve your current relationships with friends and family. And if she says she’s moved on, then don’t contact her for a while. Just because she said that, it doesn’t always mean it’s 100% done and you will never be together again, but just pretend that it is so and don’t count on that remote chance. Once you’ve healed and moved on yourself, which usually takes a minimum of about a month, contact her but keep it brief and friendly. If the breakup was really bad, take longer time. Don’t ever beg. If you do that, she’ll see you as weak or emotionally not man enough, and it will only prove her point why she broke up with you in the first place. These are my two cents from experience.
Why would my ex boyfriend still try to keep in contact?
To tell the truth, he sounds kind of like a self centered douche bag. He ended it with you, but still has feelings for you so you should stay friends and maybe he'll ask you out later some time. What kind of crap is that? And then he's casually contacting you as if nothing is out of the ordinary a day later. And again, what kind of crap is that? I was a complete male schlutt when I was young, and even I never did crap like that. If me and a girl had broken up, even if she dumped me for some other guy (which happened to me a lot), I'd give her a bit of time before trying to get a casual friendship going again. I can see trying to remain friends, but good god... you can't just act as if nothing happened. He is either trying to absolve himself of guilt, trying to get back with you but not admitting it, or he's trying to keep you on a string just in case he can't find a new girl right away. But no matter why he's doing this, he's not doing it for you. What you should do is entirely your business. But he's not doing this just to be nice.
HELP! Struggling with 'no contact' rule with ex?
I just went through a rough break up about a month ago. She was my first love and I am still in love with her. We broke up (she broke up with me) because she needs to "work on herself." I have been doing some reading up on how to deal after a rough break up. And the main thing I have come across is this "No Contact" rule. My story is a little unique and I need some advice on how I can keep this rule. I had not seen my ex since a few days before Thanksgiving (almost three weeks ago). She had been calling me regularly, and leaving voice mail messages to tell me how she was sorry that she couldn't be there for me, that she loved me, and was sorry that she was putting me through this etc. etc. I ignored all of her calls (for about 5 days) until I just couldn't take it anymore. I picked up, after yelling for awhile, I told her to stop contacting me, via phone and text. She did for a few days. Then the calls started again. She called me when she was drunk to tell me that I was the one for her, that she loved me, and missed me, and was sorry that we couldn't be together. She continued to call me when she was sober, with no intentions of reconciliation, solely to "check up" on me (I had a death in the family) and so I could provide her support. A few days ago I blocked her number. For two days she got through by using a different number. And today, she showed up at my apartment, to "surprise me" She hugged me, and wanted to cuddle, but, she has no intent to reconcile the relationship. I have NOW blocked all her numbers, I am starting to lock my doors, and I have asked her to respect my wishes multiple times, and have explained to her why. I still love her. I just can't be the kind of friend she wants. I am trying to keep up this no contact rule in hopes that I can heal, with maybe the benefit of her seeing that she doesn't want to be without me... How can I go about this in a better way? Do I continue to keep her number blocked for a few weeks, and hope that if she has anything important to say to me, that she'll email me??? THX