I don't have confidence because I don't look good, how can I improve both, look and confidence?
I have a friend, she speaks well, she had a 3 digit AIPMT rank and she is beautiful (Good looking) .The other day we were having a conversation, I asked, “ You always look so confident and presentable, is it because you are beautiful? “She said, “ I'm confident because of my achievements, it feels good to have so many people around, good looks are just icing on the cake, but you know at times, somewhere inside I feel, so many people around me are only because of my looks, I have that little fear inside me about what if someday i turn ugly, will anybody be around?”I learned a bit, people get confidence because of their achievements. Good looks are just add ons.Dress smart.Keep smiling.Be bold.Be young.That's how we get confident!
Are girls more attracted to confidence or the look of a guy? I've seen some couples where the girl is very attractive and the guy is just average, and I'm asking myself, how? Is it because of his confidence? Maybe he's funny or rich?
I'm going to go completely against every other answer here and say that it's NEITHER.It's well known that looks are not the most important thing girls look for in a guy, unless they just want some hot, freaky sex for a night. And solely relying on confidence and being supremely-confident in yourself will get you nowhere fast, too. Confidence is just a part of something bigger - it's a part of your overall personality. And what girls are MOST attracted to - what completely trumps things like money, looks, status and any single characteristic like confidence, courage and so on by itself - is your PERSONALITY and THE WAY YOU MAKE A WOMAN FEEL.Women are attracted to men who are desirable, have developed personalities and are sex-worthy - and confidence is just a little part of that.And desirability has nothing to do with looks. I know plenty of average or even dorky-looking guys who date amazing and hot women, and it's never solely because of their confidence. I know these guys, because I teach them.Hope this helps you dissolve the myth of confidence. There are plenty of guys out there who sleep with lots of girls and have hot girlfriends, and they aren't supremely confident in themselves, they just have enough of it, combined with a number of other as equally important traits as confidence - like humor, wit, sexuality and so on.If you find this helpful and want more dating advice, you can always check out my profile or follow me on Quora.
I plan on starting a YouTube channel but lack confidence, any words of encouragement or helpful tips, including your own experiences?
Like Nike says, “Just Do It”The biggest piece of advice I can offer is to not be scared. Think of all of the best looking models in the world. Even they receive negative criticism and harsh words. The key is that they don’t let it get into their heads. Even if you are the best at something you are likely to be disliked by some. Heck, even the best presidents of the United States of America were disliked by half of the country. So you have to ask yourself whether you are going to let that get in the way or whether you will stay motivated.In today's world, YouTube is hard to break into. You can’t just create a channel with unoriginal content doing the same old thing that everyone else is doing. Something about your channel has to be original.Maybe you are more humorous than other cooks and you want to start a cooking channel. Focus on your humor because let’s face it, there’s 1000 other people that have made a video about how to bake a chocolate cake. Always ask yourself “why would someone watch my video instead of my competitors?”My prior advice is kind of the precursor to even starting a channel or making a video. My next advice is to learn how YouTube works and what it takes to get your video to the top of the first page. I’ve written a guide on it but if you have any specific questions you can send me an ATA on Quora. If you read How to Rank YouTube Videos and Get More Views, you will get a better understanding of what the difference between a video on the 5th page is versus the videos in the top 3 spots of the YouTube search results.
What advice would you give to a person who has extreme low confidence to approach girls?
Sometimes it can be difficult to "break the ice" and start a conversation with someone attractive. It can be difficult to know how to talk to girls, guys, women, men, etc. It can also be hard to make a good first impression while doing so.However, approaching and talking with a stranger can be done easily...and persuasively. You can learn to break the ice with finesse and talk to the girls or guys of your dreamsWhy is Breaking the Ice So Hard?Speaking with someone you don't already know can be anxiety-provoking for a number of reasons (some of which I have addressed in previous articles). These reasons include:Having approach anxiety, social anxiety, or being anxious about dating in general (see here).Worrying too much about your potential date's initial opinion (see here).Fear of rejection (see here).Not having the proper motivation to approach (see here).Having a poor understanding of body language (see here and here).Not having a clear understanding of what you want (see here).Not being prepared to ask for what you want (see here and here).Beyond all of those reasons, however, approaching someone is difficult because you are often opening yourself up for evaluation. Essentially, you are saying "I like you"...and asking "do you like me"? This gives the other person all of the "power" and "influence" in the situation. They are in a position to "take you" or "leave you", without you having much more say in the matter.Given that, it is no wonder breaking the ice and making the first move is so hard. Who would knowingly want to put themselves in a position of vulnerability? That is the reason why many women prefer to be "attractive" and try to motivate the man to approach them. It is also the reason why many men refuse to do so.Fortunately, there are a number of ways to approach and start a conversation, without opening yourself up to evaluation. Furthermore, they are just as "confident" and "assertive" as putting yourself out there directly. In fact, sometimes these techniques are even more persuasive than the "direct approach".Techniques to Keep Your Power and Say Hello1) Ask a FavorRather than "putting yourself out there", get the other person to invest a little first. Ask them to do something for you. Make a request. This could even be something small like, "could you grab me a straw"? Or, "could you watch my stuff for a minute while I get a coffee"? Frankly, any small request will do the trick.
In need of advice or suggestions on how to deal with a crazy situation at work ?
I ve been at my current position for over three years during the entire time I have been bullied , humiliated and disrespecex to the point now where I cry out of nowhere , I have no desire to enjoy life most times it’s hard to get outta bed all due to a toxic boss Ever since working for her she has sabotaged me , set me up to look bad in front of managers and coworkers , excluded me from meeting , insulted my appearance by offering wigs and clothes , ignores me sometimes , so now it’s so bad that I have been seeking therapy and have been diagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety . So now my boss has went to the extent to say negative remarks on my performance review ,complete lies , and now I’m being micromanaged during my phone calls and so I’m being told my voice is too calm , and I don’t exude confidence due to this lack of confidence I’m being put on a Performance plan even though I have had managers , executives and employees praise my work ethic. During a meeting. A few weeks ago , the executive director told everyone in the department how of a pleasure to work with me I don’t know what to do..after being told I m being put on. A performance plan , I passed out and started throwing up and went to my doctor and have been excused until next week any tips or advice I can use to maneuver myself through this situation . I did disclose to my manager I have major depression which is a disability , am I protected ?
How do I tell my friend (who's a girl) who has low confidence in her appearance that she's beautiful in my eyes and that she's fun and that her chest and hind size doesn't matter, without things getting awkward or her getting embarrassed?
You bring up her chest and her behind but you have no interestin that part of her? It could be her self image is low becausethat's the only thing anyone ever comments on. Since I suspect your real motives, do you think you could resist the temptation to carryout your plan, however you have planned it, and introduce her to Quora, and perhapsfind some real answers to her problem. Since you are already part of the Quora community, I trust that you will do the right thing and even be a hero, at least briefly. Sometimes integrity is the best reward, WillThanks for the A2A
I am less confident to talk with girls. I don't know that I am good looking or bad looking. Can you help me to know?
Your looks are a hindrance to your success with women - but not because looks are needed to succeed with women. Confusing? read on.But first, proof women don’t care about looks as much as men:Look at this pale, pudgy balding ginger (using this guy’s own words) with a a girl that isTaller than himHad more money at the timeCould very well be a runway modelAnd we all know this one ugly deadbeat who is dating drop dead gorgeous women in spite of having no money or looks.So what gives? How come these “guys beat the system”?This is because men are attracted to looks, and women are attracted to behavior.Yes yes there are exceptions to every rule. But this is the general trend. Women often look for assertive, honest, confident, high status males while men often look for good looking females.The guy above is Owen Cook, a dating coach for men that teaches them how to become more confident, assertive, purposeful in life and honest, all behaviors that attract women in men.The logic states That preferring men who exhibit certain behavior (assertive, confident) would cause the women to end up with the alpha males of the group who’d have the social standing to end up with more food and protection for their offspring.In caveman times:Having a square jaw is not as helpful as being assertive enough to boss the hunters to give you the bigger part of the mammoth.Being honest and reliable guarantees the man will stay and care for the baby more than six abs.Being 6 foot was not as important as being socially savy enough to be the leader of the group, which would provide the best for his offspring.Evolution itself tells you that success with women depends more on behavior and how you present yourself rather than how you look. Yes looks do matter, but they are light years behind better behavior.The irony is that your looks make you doubt yourself and not think of yourself as attractive. The lack of confidence shows in you, and women can smell that a mile away.So indirectly your looks affect your success with women. When you will approach the women you want without giving a thought to how you look, you will experience the success you wish with women.
I have a coffee date this evening and want to change my lack of success with women. Any advice?
The woman I am going with gave me her number a week ago. We have a class together at university and we have gone out on one "date" before (three nights ago)... it was a study date but regardless it was still a date. We didn't get to know each other though because we were studying. I have a history of being very nervous and self-conscious around women I am attracted to. I am 22 years old and have never had a girlfriend or even experienced love before because of my fears (I was a fat kid growing up and weighed as much as 275 pounds three years ago... as a result I grew up with the mindset that a woman could not be attracted to me. I am now 200 pounds and in pretty good shape). The woman I am going on this coffee date tonight with is gorgeous and I know she is attracted to me. I am attracted to her and do not want to be an idiot and mess things up like I usually do. My plan is to casually mention to her about being sorta nervous around her and tell her that I want to take things slow and just start off as friends. I don't want to "just be friends" with her though because I would like there to be something more in the future. I don't know how to bring this up or if it is even something I should bring up? If I am to bring it up should I just come right out and say it? I basically have no romantic dating experience so feel like I am flying blind. My other fear is that I don't want our date to feel like a "job interview". I really want to get to know her and will ask her questions. I am a very intelligent guy who has accomplished a lot for my age. My defense mechanism for my insecurities is to put up walls around myself, to not open up, and for me to appear arrogant. I want to be able to connect with her as a person and really develop a good relationship with her naturally. Please give me some advice!
If people, in real life, never give me compliments about my appearance, is it safe to say that I’m not attractive?
If you’re not pretty, try to discover and exploit the particular gifts you were given. Are you funny? Smart? Accomplished? Do you have talent? Can you work hard? Every one has been given different gifts. Yes, attractive people have certain advantages, but this isn’t always presented well, and they might seriously lack confidence despite their God-given looks. there will be attractive people that rely on you for comfort, advice and support. Make sure you learn how to accentuate your features or improve something you don’t like about yourself. Confidence is better than attractiveness. If you are not confident about all of you’re particular features now, that doesn’t mean you won’t be soon. Learn about hairstyles, make-up etc. you can learn anything on YouTube. Don’t be afraid to re-invent yourself, become really competent at something - a hobby, or your work - and find confidence. Give it time. You’ll be fine. Many blessing to you.