How to deal with a meddling ex-mother-in-law?
me and my ex have been divorced for about 2 years and have a 11 year old son.my ex's mother is always butting in.she tells my son that going to family stuff on their side of the family is more important than my visitation always wanting me to trade my weekends to meet their needs and then she once told him "dont talk to your dad about your mom".and then this weekend he showed up at my house with no underwear or socks and said his granmother told him he couldnt take clothes she bought him to my house.i am about at the end of my rope with this.what should i do?
What to do about boyfriend's meddling mother?
For five years I always got along great with her until my boyfriend and I got an apartment together in 2005. Since then she has become very meddlesome, and over bearing. She stayed a few weeks ago, and while I was at work she did all of the laundry. It really irritated me because she asked if anything needed to be done around the house and I told her no. She took it upon herself to do the laundry. She told me that she would be coming down one day a week to do my house work and laundry. I told her politely, no thank you but she demanded saying "I'm just trying to make it easier on you. It's not your place to do all that!" With that I said "Of course it is, this is my home." I firmly ended it telling her NO. Since then she has tried to make me look bad, telling everyone in the family that I told her I was miserable with my boyfriend, which I never said. He's siding with his mom saying she wouldn't lie. What do I do? She is ruining my relationship and causing my boyfriend and I to fight!
What is the best way to deal with a meddling mother in law besides killing her?
Thanks for the A2AListen to her meddling. When she stops to take a breath between demeaning and degrading others (you most especially), ask her if she is done. Look her dead in the eye with that 100-yard stare that gunfighters get when they are about to call an end to your life. Just don’t pull the gun. That would be the part about killing her that you are trying to avoid.“Are you through?”Nothing else. No defending yourself. You did nothing wrong. You were polite enough to listen to her. You are not apologetic, you are just letting her know that you are sick and tired of listening to her tirade or listening to her tell you what to do, or whatever the hell it is she is doing that is making you nuts.It can also be helpful to avoid being around her whenever possible. Either way, don’t feed into her meddling. Let her know that it is unwelcome if you have to, if she is not smart enough to take a hint, that is.Good luck.
How do I handle a meddling mother-in-law? (constant unsolicited relationship advice, very pushy, and subtle passive-aggressive jabs) My husband is very supportive of me, but doesn’t always pick up on it. She’s coming to stay with us for over a week.
Turn it back on her, whilst being sweet, kind and loving. I’ve no idea what kinds of things she says. But say you feed her a meal and she says something like ‘I suppose some would like that’. Respond with something like ‘Oh, thank you. That’s so lovely of you to say. Did you really enjoy it?’. You’ve now placed her in the position of either being nice and saying she liked it, or by being outright rude and saying she disliked it. With practice its really quite easy to turn most things around like that. The trick is for you to always be nice, polite and sincere. Above all, sincere. If you’re sarcastic then she has another reason to be nasty. If others are around and overhear, guess who looks like the bad guy? Be sincere.
My wife's meddling mother is ruining my marriage... help?
OK, so I have been married for about five years... For the past 6 months or so, I have been playing hide the salami with my wife's sister... Now, it IS NOT AN AFFAIR, because there is nothing emotional about it, we don't talk, or go out, or anything... It is just once and while when my wife isn't home she comes over and I give her the stiff one eye... Well, the other week, her mother caught us... Now, I told her not to say anything, and that I probably wouldn’t even do it again… but of course she did... And now, my wife has the audacity to mad at me, and her mother gets of scott free... Her mother was the one who told her, I did the right thing and kept it quiet... I was protecting her because I didn't want her to get hurt... But obviously, her mother has no regard for anyone's feelings... She single handedly ruined a marriage and a sibling relationship... This whole thing could have been avoided if she just kept her mouth shut... These meddling inlaws! Am I really wrong here?
My boyfriend mom meddling?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and I'm 20 and he is 22. Me and him had plans this Saturday and we had these plans since the began week. When i called him today to see if we were still on for Saturday he said Momma is having her birthday celebration this Saturday at 6pm his mom birthday isn't until next Wednesday one of my friends said why is she celebrating this weekend shouldnt she be celebrating next weekend . I'm tired of being put on the back burner when it comes down to his sister and his mother. His older sister birthday was earlier in the month and me and him were hanging out watching movies and playing video games. All of sudden his mom comes home with a birthday cake and chips and soda and the whole family was over. The sister only turned 26 and they were talking about her all the time. To be quite honest i don't think he likes his mom at all because at times he would talk bad about her calling her lazy and stupid and the next minute he would look for her approval. She favors the sister more and i see, my friends see it, and my mom sees as well. I know its his mom birthday but its like i cant win when it comes down to her and his older sister and I'm tired of being put on the back burner my firends said its time to tell him the truth about his mom meddling and i don't know how to go about it ? if i do tell him I'm mad he will try to make it up to me in the end and my mom said stop being at his call. I don't know what to do ? His mom and sister are always calling him back to back when we are together and half the time they don't want anything one time his mom wanted him to bring some paper plates and he left my house around 8 pm when he normally leaves at 11pm or 12 a.m. I personally dont think they like me at all because of things i observe and I didn't do anything them he is off Friday from work and he didnt even offer to hang out then. I NEED HELP!!!!! PLEASE NO RUDE ANSWERS
How do you deal with a meddling, controlling mother-in-law, who wants to see my husband on a regular basis and gets upset when she doesn't see him or get phone calls from him?
You don't. Your husband does.Is she stopping you from being able to do other things? Is she not giving you reasonable privacy?What you find unacceptable May seem reasonable and normal to your husband.You need to agree mutually acceptable boundaries with your husband, otherwise you are basically asking him to choose between his mother and you, which isn't reasonable.But you do of course have the right to run your lives as independent adults, and your mother in law has the right to her opinion. Just as long as it isn't damaging, you can take on board her opinion and politely, but firmly, disregard it - but make sure it's not just because she is saying it, otherwise you run the risk of treating her as a competitor for your husband's affections. You wouldn't be jealous of your husband being affectionate to one of your children, would you?Learn where the acceptable boundary is, and negotiate it between yourself and your husband.If he truly finds her a destructive influence, he will likely see the sense of minimising or eliminating contact.
Do you think it’s okay for mothers to meddle with their married sons’ lives especially when it comes to where they should live?
Without context, the idea that a mother should not meddle with where their son lives is being taken along one line. That the mother should not meddle.Let’s flip it a bit.What if the son and his husband were both very very stupid. So stupid that they want to live in a log cabin by a lava flow. A tent on the Serengeti. A box in middle of t’ road. Though such humble beginnings can create the drive to be successful and the boys end up drinking Château de Chasselas in paradise, a wise mother would do her best to prevent it.After all, Château de Chasselas is at best passable.Any road, where a parent might be seen as meddling, they might simply see themselves as offering their hard earnt advice. A wise child would ask their parents advice, pretend to listen to it, pretend to consider it, then do whatever suits them best. Be calm, do not think of them as meddling, pay due observance but do whatever the married pair decides. And it is their decision. Decent parents want to help, give their point of view, be involved in their childrens lives, but will accept their children have to make their own choices. Might not like them, but have to accept them.Unless the parents are dicks. Don’t let dicks meddle.
I hate my mother in law. She keeps interfering in our life. What should I do?
Avoid her if at all possible.The biggest problem is, it will make a wedge in your relationship with your spouse.They don't want to hear you complain about how much you can't stand their parent, the one who raised them, whether they can't stand her either or not. It will also put them in the middle of conflict between the two people they love most in life and in return stress the threads of your marriage out.Make your wife give her an excuse why you can't be over there.He's workingHe's visiting a friendHe's not feeling goodIf you have to be around her, be polite and show respect. Take what she has to say with a grain of salt, in one ear, out the other. At the end of the day, until she dies, she will always be there, up your butt, iritating, pissing you off.If you don't learn now and you don't have children yet, whew! You are in for a ride.Edit: I followed the link. I feel horrible for your situation. My mother in law tried to move in with us, luckily she didn't. I think our marriage would end if she ever did. It does not matter if she is the maternal grandparent to those kids. She has no NO rights to them. You are their father, the head of the household, not her. You need to have a serious discussion with your wife about this. If she doesn't understand or still takes her side, you need to give her an ultimatum and see what she thinks is more important. Her children and husband or her parents. It will be hard, no way easy, but this is not healthy for you nor is it healthy to let your kids think poorly of you because of her.I really feel your pain. I wish the best of luck to you, that is one of the worst situations I could ever imagine being in.Edit 2:. One thing that has.. well.. kinda worked for us, we sat her down at the kitchen table for an intervention. Her ex on and off husband of 30 years was there too. She blew up, got upset, pulled the pity card, stopped talking to everyone for awhile.At first, yes I felt horrible because we made my mom no.2 upset. Then after a few times of this, it actually is really nice to not hear her bitch and be controlling for a week, because she's in a woes me mood.