What should be preferable, live in a joint family or a nuclear family? Why?
As every coin has 2 sides, being in joint family also has 2 types of results. Few are good and few are bad.Good aspects like:When ever you have any problem, you will have whole family to support you. Let that be any situation, you will get maximum possible support. Let you get financially weak or emotionally, you will have a strong support. Imagine a situation when you are not well and living alone, you will feel more bad that there is no one to take care of you. This never happens in joint family. Everyone will come and keep checking if you feel better and it feels good that way. In joint family, children have more advantage, they will have good pampering and also elderly people will teach them all good things, they will never feel loney, we will learn to share things and all.Cons are not major, it depends on how understanding and adjusting you are. You might not have much freedom, you must share duties and responsibilities. Sometimes people will do back biting kind of things, it depends in how you deal with that. The terms of loosing freedom means that you are being protected need not always mean that your freedom is lost, also sharing responsibility or duties means you will be active and learn to become mature and deal well with life.Also at the end it depends on how you adjust with people and how well you want to adjust is what it all matters.If you have a picture in your mind that it will be horrible and it won't be any better, then just stay alone. If you think that you can adjust and would like to see how good it feels to be in joint family, then I would suggest you to opt for joint family.
Do girls prefer to live in a joint family after marriage or alone with their husband?
Before marriage I always thought I would be okay with a joint family structure. Now that I have been in it for two years, I am not sure about that anymore. Not that my in laws are bad people. They do most of the heavy lifting and I barely have a lot of work to look into once I am home. This has helped my career and will help me in the future when I plan to start a family. I however feel lonely even in a joint family because I don’t think I can connect with my in laws at all. My mother in law is borderline naive and my father in law is a patriarch who genuinely believed that women have lesser brains till I got married into the family. (He also still thinks that children get no genes from their mother) My brother in law is foul mouthed but there is no one correcting him because its okay for men use bad words (even at home). I am worried that I am losing my identity amidst all these people.For an independent thinking woman, this can be the biggest problem of living in a joint family. You are surrounded with people but still lonely. You cannot wholly express your individuality because you are concerned about what others will think of you. Whether its the last mithai or the TV remote control, you let go because you want to be a ‘good girl’. And little by little, the girl in you dies.
Is a joint family system good?
I know a case where women fought with her mom in law and eventually moved away from joint family with husband and kids. After few years her husband started to develop affairs with neighbor ; her two kids ran away with some random persons. Currently she is living alone. She fought with her mom and law because she wanted to wear sleeveless dress. Now she has become mom and law and she doesn’t like her DIL for short pants.Problems will be there in life for every case. For kids and elders joint family is awesome. For middle aged people if they don’t have proper income ; joint family will help them a lot. Only problem creators are selfish people in family, it can be your brother, sister, inlaws, mother, father. Kids growing up in joint family will adjust a lot and will have better married life.Moving away from joint family due to lack of privacy is a stupidity. Only in joint families you will get lots people and time to connect emotionally. Couples lived in joint family only produced more kids.When living alone with husband; if the husband is not good, dominating, bad character then you won’t have any other option than to divorce and walk away or get hurt. In joint family you need not worry about bad qualities of husband; his brother and his father will fight for you.If you watch any media; only news you will hear about is how cruel people are in joint family…they are just entertainment to create sensation. In reality you will have lots of loving people, very strong extended family with all types of relationships. If you loose them it will take multiple generation to get them back. Yes, one or two selfish people will fight for everything; but overall it’s a good system; it will provide very strong foundation for your kids family life.Again, joint family is not an option for all. People living in joint family or with huge extended family don’t know they got it after multiple generations of effort from their elders life. They will loose it fast as they don’t know the value of it.Right now living together as husband/wife itself is a big deal, kids behave randomly when they can’t connect with family, no respect/time for elders and no love/time for kids.
Why is the divorce rate increasing in India? My uncle and his friend, who works in court, joked, "These recent years, their business is up due to divorce cases."
I married a person in a typical arranged way. I recently filed divorce. Reasons:I don’t want to be a slaveI am a working women and travel 4 hours a day and work for 7 hours. He works in the night shift and leaves home after half an hour of my arrival. He expects me to cook food as soon as I come home, pack it and place it in his bag. I wake up at 5 a.m and cook both breakfast and lunch for me, him, his parents and grand parents every day and I have no problem with cooking. My problem is time and tiresome.On a holiday my mother-in-law never got up from the bed. She claims to be of ill health and I do all the chores like grocery shopping, cleaning etc alone as my husband is a KID and don’t know any such things. She is absolutely healthy and talks a minimum of 4 hours on phone on those days. But she want me to serve he food on her bed.All the people in the home claim that I don’t have any cleanliness as I leave the home without sweeping. What I don’t have is time and there is a maid who comes after I leave and does that work. That maid timing must not be shifted but I must do even though she does it later - this is the decision of my husband.I want to be respectedI am constantly abused for being a working woman. They used to stay home comes before anything. I told them I want to work on the first day we met.One day my husband beat me in-front of my in-laws to quit my job. I had bruises all over my body. Nobody tried to stop his abuses. So the next morning I went to my office and said them that I would resign and I was asked to work for 2 more months before quitting. In the evening when I told the news everybody were angry and I got lashes again this time from his belt.Later on I came to know that they took loans from many people all over the city. I was told neither the amount nor the reason for such bad financial condition. But I was expected to bring my salary and not to ask the way it was spent.I was not provided with proper clothes even. I used to put atleast 3 pins to my dress every day so that they do not appear torn.I want my parents to be respectedI was not allowed to call my parents. So I used to talk to them from office. Whenever some difference of opinion arises, my in laws or husband would call my parents and frighten them. He abused even my parents with the worst words like lanja.
How much to spend at a baby shower?
I would go in with your boyfriend and pick up a nice gift for $20 -$25 ea. (about $40-$50 total) I'd also suggest checking the registry (esp. if it's someplace like Babies R Us) and then comparison shopping online or Baby Depot to find the same thing more inexpensively. Then she gets what she really wants and you get credit for a more expensive gift than you can really afford. If that seems too much, then I'd suggest shopping at TJ Maxx or Marshalls where you can get designer baby clothes/blankets at a total discount. Off-season clearance racks at Carters or other baby stores are great, just make sure that whatever season you're buying clothes for is appropriate for the baby. Eg. If the baby is due in September, winter clothes would be best in 3-6month sizes and summer clothes would be better in 6-12 or 9-12 month sizes. Note: when the tag just says one size, like 6 months, that means 3-6months. It's the upper age limit on that clothing. Also, if the parents are tall, chances are the baby may be a size ahead of the actual age. Good luck!
My ex. is getting married to a midget!?
At seven years old, he is still the child and you, your ex and his soon to be step dad, are the adult. He will continue if no one tells him that it is unacceptable for him to make fun of people. It is a bad bout of behavior patterns that he is falling into and the fact that he is already judging people at a young age, shows that you both need to take a little more time and give him direction. There is no difference between him making fun of a little person, or him making fun of a race. This needs to be nipped in the butt, and it needs to be done now. I am not trying to be critical, truly I am not. I know how much that hurts though. My son is black/white mixed and his own uncle calls him awful names--and it hurts me---plus my son is autistic. It is not right, and you certainly don't want what he is doing now to escalate to hatred later in life with certain situations--my brother is a prime example of this!!! Good Luck!!!