My mum and dad are always arguing, what should I do?
You may like to plan to have a time for your family. It can be a dinner time or weekend that you like to request them to have some time with you. When it happens, calmly tell them how you been feeling about them fighting all the time and makes you feel sad. You tell them love them very much and know that they love you too but seeing fighting all the time makes you feel not loving each other makes you feel very lonely. See how they respond to your statements.Have them know that many children leave home due to the fighting and never see them again. I’m praying for your family to be reunite again and enjoy each other.
My parents bicker and put me in the middle. How should I handle it?
I'm 22. I'm home from college and have been dealing with my parents constantly fighting. My dad is irritating and will yell and scream for no reason. I am beginning to completely resent him as a person. If my mom does something bad, he will ask me why she did it. The same goes for my mom. She will get annoyed with my dad and come to me asking why he did it. I have been telling them to talk to each other and address their problems head on. I'm tired of being their marriage counselor. Some days, I wish they would just end the marriage because living with this constant bickering is getting to be too much. How should I handle the situation? I don't want to step over a line but putting me in the middle must end. NOW. Any advice is appreciated!
My dad yelled at me and I gave him the middle finger?
There has never been a day that passed in my life (im 18) where my dad did not yell or curse at me. Seriously, my earliest memories of him was his yelling and cursing at me. anyways, today he REALLY yelled, and yeah i talked back but I never yelled back, i just replied in a calm voice. After 5 minutes he wouldn't shut up and I was just ignoring him and my blood was boiling inside me! i couldn't take it but i couldn't tell him to shut up. But i lost control of myself and i gave him the middle finger and he just about exploded. he was shaking from anger and i got real scared. i tried to calm him down and he just ran and yelled even more. i could see people outside my house stop outside. I feel so guilty for doing that but at the same time i can't say im sorry for doing it. i can't really express myself verbally so i felt that was the only way i could express myself at the time. I think this pretty much ended our relationship. Do you think it was a horrible thing for me to do? Should I move out? I don't think i can face him any longer....
If you are a single mom, does your daughter have a middle name? if yes, whose middle name should she use?
It doesn't have to have anything to do with the father. Personally, my middle name was given because it was my mother's grandmother's name. And some people I know, it is just given because it sounded good with the first name an has no relation to a relative (father or mother's side).
How do I deal with parents who fight all the time? My parents argue over trivial things. Mom has a temper, blames people, and controls everyone. She compares us with others, saying how good they are. Dad is too stubborn to apologize, and has an ego.
There is nothing you can do about your parents' fighting. Believe me. I spent years wondering what I could do.The only thing that you can do is get some space from it. It is not likely that their relationship is going to change unless they decide to change it. It's not up to you or your siblings to change them and trying will just make it all the harder for you to disengage from this very toxic dynamic in your family.It's time to grow more independent of your family and seek more sane and peaceful relationships for your own life. These dynamics have a way of creeping up into your own relationships simply because you have been in the midst of them for years. You need to know that and begin to become as conscious as you can about thinking about and having good communication in your life.Decide how you would like to proceed in creating a different energy in your life from the one that your parents have created. Get some help for this. Over time, you will create your own set of relationships that are based on healthier, more loving values. If that becomes your goal, you will begin to beat the stress and move forward in a new direction. Just don't spend your life getting stuck in their dynamic- unless you want to create such drama in your own life.
Ramadan: How do you deal with fighting parents?
Hi: As much as I like YLHG, I respectfully disagree. Unless one of your parents is being abused, you should not get in the middle. They are adults and their relationship is separate from the one they share with you. How old you are matters in this case, but I'm going to guess around 14ish. If that is the case, I would still say you shouldn't get in the middle, even if it does get physical. Do you have a good relationship with your folks when their not fighting? Since you say you've already tried to talk to them, that's about the maximum you can do. You could advise them that if it does get physical you will call the police next time, and even for something small. Do you have any other family you could stay with, even short term? If so, you could talk to them, and see if they could keep you for a week or two. Then you tell your parents you're going to be there for such and such time, because you really can't take the yelling, it's affecting your health, your studies, your happiness and you hope they can resolve things. My parents used to fight so much, it was awful, but trying to talk to them did nothing. Finally, I spent a summer at my friend's place. My parents divorced soon after (not because of me). Although divorce isn't normally what we want for our parents, they were both happier afterwards and better parents. If you can't talk to them and you can't get away for a bit, then all you can do is try to get involved in things outside of the home, and pray. You can e-mail me anytime (if you like) if you need someone to talk to. I know this is painful, but you do have to keep in mind that while our parents are major players in our lives, their relationship to each other is very different from the one they have with us.
My parents are fighting. My mom is giving my dad the “silent treatment”. What should I do?
This is a really good question for a really tough situation. You don’t say how old you are, so please forgive me if I make an incorrect assumption. I’m guessing you’re still in school, maybe in your teens? Old enough to know what’s going on, but still unsure how to go about this.This happened in my family twice, once when I was in high school and again when I was in college. My parents came close to a divorce when it came down to it. This is when I finally figured out that my parents were people. I know - it’s obvious. But it’s still a really weird transition. One day they’re “mom and dad” - your provider, caregiver and ultimate authority figure. And then, suddenly, they’re “Tom” and “Carol”, two people who are trying to make things work… and they don’t actually have all the answers.Seriously, when I figured that out it was a shock.What I finally ended up doing was listening to them both. When my perception of them changed it was a lot easier to treat them like individuals. I knew I couldn’t fix things between them. But having lived with them all my life I was in the unique position of listening to them with real understanding. I could offer both of them a shoulder to lean on and some emotional support. I wouldn’t allow either of them to try to use me against each other, and I kept my comments supportive, but as neutral as I could. If my mom would tell me that my dad just didn’t listen to her or understand what’s important to her, I’d nod sympathetically and agree that men have a hard time with that. I wouldn’t say “You’re right - Dad’s a jackass.” If my dad would tell me that my mom wasn’t listening and she had no real idea what he did for the family, I’d nod sympathetically and agree that housewives often don’t really understand the demands of corporate life. I wouldn’t say “You’re right - Mom’s selfish and clueless.”Make sense? If either of them tries to put you in the middle of the fight draw a firm line - don’t go there. You’ll just end up getting hurt and it’s unlikely you’ll help either of them. But listening to them both individually, as you would any friend, you may be able to offer sympathy and support to them both while still remaining neutral.
My mom and dad fight a lot!?
listen bud.. just hang in there.. parents fight.. when you get older.. your gonna understand why.. you gotta live with the same person day in day out ..u see the lazy side.. the angry side..the morning breath side.. my parents fight all the time.. and i dont like it any more than u do.. and ill tell u this.. they both understand ur a teenager .. your gonna experiment with things and w/e.. just stay away from coke and **** like that.. i lost alot of cells smokin up .. so id stay away from that too. listen.. your moms yellin at life through u.. i do it to my mom sometimes.. kinda like.. yelling at the situation.. not the person.. so dont take it personal.. seriously.. i know my **** .. i feel what u feel dude.. 1 thing i saw someone write was tell them how u feel.. wtf kinda care bear sh!t is that.. this is the real world.. feelings dont stay in someones mind when their upset.. listen this is my theory.. end of the day.. both of them need and love u.. ya ya the L word lol.. but its true man.. i hatttee sayin it to my rents.. but its true.. their #1 and u know they r cuz ur stressin bout it.. and i would too.. lol this is a good place to ask whats on ur mind.. so this is my idea: what bugs u.. dont do.. if ur mom has beef with ur dad.. let her do it.. be like no its ur problem.. your puttin me in the middle not even caring how it affects me!.. that should open her ears 2).. if u wanna go to vegas.. then go.. i dunno depends on the situation.. i would go .. but thats cuz im of age to gamble lol.. just start doin whats best for u.. cuz obviously their too caught up with themselves to see how much its hurting u its not your fault if you say no.. its theirs for not respecting it keep talking calm.. think b4 u speak.. and you'll always come out the better person.. remember that.. hit me back if u got any other issues
My mom and dad are fighting and I'm getting a silent treatment by my mother for "picking my dad's side", what should I do?
This is abusive behavior, but on a scale minor enough that you can’t do much about it.I’ll share a similar story I have from my own childhood. My mother and stepdad used to fight a lot. I mean a lot. Screaming, throwing things- police sometimes for noise complaints etc. My mom always would force me to call him if he left the house or didn’t answer her calls. She’d cry or scream or ignore me and give me these disgusting death glares. But outside of that, she was an amazing mother strange enough. It was just when they fought- I was always forced in the middle.I ended up just doing what she said because she’d threaten to punish me and I didn’t really care that much so I just did it because my step dad was a dick.One day, when I was 18 visiting home again she tried to make me do the same thing. She yelled at me and said I didn’t love her and that I HAD to call him. So I didn’t. I said she didn’t own me anymore and I wasn’t going to get in the middle of their shit. And I’ve always looked fondly on that day.In your shoes though, I’d tell your mother ( if you can get the guts to do it) that you’re not choosing sides and that you want to be left out of it. You’re a child and not responsible for their crumbling marriage. Ignore her back and see how she feels. Or even better sit both of them down and explain to your father what she wanted you to do and have a family discussion about it. She’s going to be embarrassed and both of them will have to settle this as adults.You need to remind your mother that you’re not responsible for her fights and you love both your parents and refuse to play head games like this. If she’s going to ignore you because of it then she’ll probably lose you once you turn 18 because you’ll resent her for it. I know I still resent my mother for putting me in the middle of things and I’m nearly 21 now.