My husband told me he is attracted to his coworker!?
We got in an argument and he admitted he had a crush on his coworker, after my questioning him about a different coworker. I don't know why I asked, I guess I was just mad at something he said about a work function we were going to. He's never let off any signs. He told me he's been attracted to her since he started working there, so for about a year. He told me he thought about telling me about it but just didn't know how to say it. He said it was more of a distraction from work (he's not happy with his job) and is meaningless and would've never acted on it and never even thought about acting on it. She's engaged and I've met her and her fiance a few times. My husband has always invited me to work functions and actually said that he wanted us to all be friends so the feeling would go away. He said that he could'nt avoid it b/c they work together and see each other everyday They have never gone to lunch together, he never talks to her outside of work and she has no idea. He said they would go to the cafeteria and grab a cup of coffee and chat sometimes, but that was really all the one-on-one time they spent together, everything else was mostly in group settings. He said he thought she was pretty and respected the way she handled herself at work. He liked talking to her as she listened and offered advice in work situations. He said that he put everything in the back of his mind and was just a friend to her, and they never flirted or gave complements, or talked about personal stuff. I just had a baby 4 months ago and it felt terrible to hear this coming from my husband. He is such a good husband and daddy and we have a great relationship. Nothing ever changed between us. If I didn't know, then everything would be the same. I just feel so bad knowing this, but I asked. I know it's normal to be attracted to others, I have been too. But, I'm taking this so hard. It could be that I just had a baby. My husband is just a very honest person and now feels so bad and has gone above and beyond in explaining everything to me, reassuring me, telling me he never wanted anything to come of it, they were just thoughts, etc, he's set up marriage counselor appts and is trying so hard to make it right. Is this normal? Am I overreacting?
How do I handle a situation where I have a coworker who doesn't do anything but can sweet talk the boss, while the rest of us have to work our asses off?
A deadbeat team member is something that can be difficult to bear. However, the only one you can control is yourself. So, ask yourself: what do you want? Do you want another team member who will share the workload (as it should be)? Do you want a better (more influential) relationship with your boss? Do you want the praise for you and the others who are actually doing the work? Do you want to be there at all? What are your motivations? It may be some of those things mentioned above. It may be all of those things. When you answer questions like that in an honest way you can then create a strategy to handle the situation. Your own motivations for the job/project are what should guide your next move (in my opinion).
Recent college graduate, I dislike my office job. Should I go back to retail?
I m 22. I graduated with a BS in accounting this past May. I found an entry level bookkeeping job paying $13. Every job that I found wanted + years of experience so I was lucky to have found this one. I used to like accounting but once I hit my junior and senior level advanced accounting courses I dreaded them so much. Even though I m doing basic level accounting, I forgot so much. It s funny how I remember a lot about my other classes but not much from accounting. When I started this job I thought I was gonna like it a lot. This is my second week and I m dragging myself and crying myself to sleep. It s a very easy job, everything is organized for me already but I just hate it. I d rather be in retail. I applied to a retail merchandising job and have an interview this Friday. If I get the job, I ll be driving from store to store in my own car fixing, putting, organizing cards. I worked at CVS and always saw this magazine lady and asked her about her job and she said she enjoyed it because she wasn t in one place all day, and I myself get bored so easily. I finished CVS with a pay of $12.55 and Hallmark (the one I have the interview for) their pay starts at $11. I live with my parents so I m not financially stressed much. My student loan repayments do start in November though. I plan on going back to get my Masters in Spanish sometime next year. I know I should of switched my major but I was scared and wanted to graduate *on time* which there is no such thing...
How can I encourage my husband of 15yrs to choose between me and his mistress of 2yrs?
Kiss him goodbye and tell the mistress GOOD LUCK because she will be the next to be cheated on. I don't know what this man has done to you or whoever made you believe that its okay for a man to treat you this way, but it's NOT. And your kids...how old? What will they think if you take him back after he's been cheating on you? No, please...stop the cycle of dysfunction and leave the bastard to his whore, find a good therapist to help you gain back your sense of self, and for the love of god....DONT stay with that guy and do NOT let him treat you badly in front of your kids.
What do i do to deal with being ousted in work group?
I work in the I.T. field and have three other direct co-workers (one being my boss). I have tried hard to fit in with them and joke along with them and just try to be non-Confrontational, however it has gotten to be where all jokes point back to me, and i am made to look incompetent and a bad worker, without any proof or justification. One of the three co-workers is religious and seems to think he knows me and says i am miserable and that i why i complain about their behavior. My Boss does not let me do much of anything hence why i am writing this now while i could be working, and even with my I.T. experience i do little things that require not a whole lot brain power. the last of the three is a 30ish year old male who has kids and is bitter and extremely rough around the edges who likes to throw me under the bus constantly. i am the youngest of them and i have no kids whereas they all do and 2 of the 3 are married. I technically have little in common, but try to keep neutral since it is work and not social time, however they have ousted me out the group and do not really talk to me or include me in things, and direct jokes toward me that are insulting and demeaning to my character. Obviously the solution is find a job elsewhere, but that is not so feasible right now, and i cant always run from these scenarios. So i ask how to reassert myself, without being a butt-kisser??
My girlfriends ex’s is back in town…. Dam?
I have known my current girlfriend for 2 years now and we been dating serious for seven months. Her ex/ first came back into town . she has been (to my knowledge) completely honest with me when he calls. He calls constantly and wants to meet up with her. She does to but clearly tells me she would like to see him as well but just as a friend. He does hold a special place in her heart She knows I completely detest there meeting. When me and my current girlfriend where friends, she had a boyfriend at the time which she cheated on with here first (army guy). Army guy is close there her family which makes it even harder to except. Any way I let them meet up, at her house with her family being present for a few hrs before he goes back to the army. I figure if a person is going to cheat you can’t stop them. I warned her this might change the way I feel and if there meeting is worth it. there is only on thing on a military persons mind when they come out and we know what that is………… I saw it in her eyes and heard it in her voice she wanted to catch up and that’s why I let it be. This is slightly affecting the way I feel about here because she did not respect how I felt. Am I over reacting? I have a very big heart but can turn cold and dark once I’m betrayed. We both know there are going to be reminisce on there past but I ask for what???? When she found someone new. I say don’t drag the past I have a zero tolerance for cheating because I was cheated on bad in my last relationship. What are your thoughts on this guys. What would you do if you where me. Thank you
How do I deal with an ex who keeps talking negatively about me?
Fighting does no good to anyone, neither anger, nor arguments. It all the way leads to intensifying the fire of hatred.And believe me you cannot make her bend down or even overpower her with your arguments to justify-"why is she talking all bad about you"..!!If you really wanna make her stop, make her feel that you are no more her lover but a neutral person in this world. The realization would close her mouth.Hope the following work :1. Keep it in mind that fighting won't work.2. Act and stay normal to her, as if you are another human being in her vicinity.3. Behave like the way you would with any other normal girl in the world.4. Help her when she needs help, just like any other person in the world.5. Talk to her when she wants to, and if she says, she still loves you, reply saying-"Yes, I can understand".6. Ignorance gets pricked more when shown by attitude and not by behavior or body language.7. Ignore all that she has said to other colleagues or co-workers about you, for unless you ignore, you are yourself proving that those things are worth a gossip.Apart from that, following can keep you away from her :1. Get involved in something which concerns your self improvement.2. Get involved in something which concerns your company's or co-workers' improvement(this way you get credit and praises which easily make the rumors spread by her disappear from gossips).3. She cannot put herself out of the league of all the people who are in favor of respecting you in doing so many good things.4. Make people around you happy and make them laugh on witty jokes.5. Share news, latest happenings, and try turning a little more dynamic and versatile. This is YOUR TIME TO PROVE YOUR WORTH TO THE WORLD... :)Let me give a suitable logic behind to the above....Keep Smiling :)