Is my dad allowed to hit me?
I was watching t.v. when my dad came inside and told me to go sit down at the kitchen table. He then grabbed a ruler and told me to explain why I wasn't going to piano lessons (I find them really boring but my dad wants me to play). I explained, and then he started yelling at me saying it's not fair for him being a single father (my mother passed but my stepmother is moving in soon) and having to pay all this money for my lessons and an expensive school when I don't try. He then started hitting me with a ruler. I mean, I know it was bad of me, but was he really allowed to hit me like that? Surely he could have just talked to me about it and made clear that I shouldn't do it again, instead of hitting me? My dad doesn't normally hit me like this, normally he is very kind and loving to me. I'm not sure what to do. Should I contact Childline or something, or is there any point? My dad is normally very nice to me, and he hasn't spanked me since I was about 6 (when I threw all my pasta down the side of the sofa because I didn't like it) but this just happened today and I'm not sure what to do.
My dad hit me. HELP!!?
MY dad hit me on the back because I first was watching tv when he told me I could stay in the kitchen a few more minutes to get something to eat. But I was eating for a few more minutes while catching up on some tv I missed. He came in and was a little angry (he is really annoying looking whenever he's ticked with you for something). I said "OK" and started to walk towards the stairs and said "Dont stop me or anything" meaning to explain that it kinda freaked me out in the dark. (I shouldn't have said anything-- I wasn't being HORRIBLE but should have just shut up) He THEN hit me PRETTY hard about 7 times or to where it left a numb red mark for a half hour then started to fade. My mom didn't hint anything about it after that. Is that ABUSIVE?? I was thinking about running away to some NICER ppl. :/ What do I do?? HELP!!!
Why does my father think if a kid hits their sibling the father is supposed to hit his child back to prevent him from hitting his sibling again?
There are different parenting philosophies.Some parents feel that pain is a motivator and that wrong actions should be punished by inflicting pain on their child. In their thinking, it doesn’t matter what the transgression is - if a kid does something wrong (breaking a plate, hitting a sibling, lying about grades, etc.) they feel that hitting the child will communicate that what they did was wrong, and that pain (being hit) is one of the consequences of doing something wrong.Some parents think that it’s wrong to hit their kids and that, no matter what they do, parents should just talk with them to make sure the kids understand what they did that was wrong and why it was wrong.We came down between these extremes. We didn’t hit our kids, but if they did something wrong, there were consequences that were meaningful to the kids. When our daughters was failing a class she was forbidden from watching TV, playing video or online games, and listening to her iPod until her grades improved. When our son hit his sister, he was penalized by making him sit at the kitchen table after school every day, with only his textbooks as well as by doing his sister’s chores (cleaning up after the cat, washing dishes, taking out the trash) in addition to his own for a month.My wife and I were both hit as children. We turned out OK, but we also felt there was a better way to raise our kids. So far they seem to be doing OK as well.
How can I love my dad who used to beat me as a child?
I am sorry your father abused you.You are a brave and loving soul to want to love him, regardless of the past. And it's okay not to love him. Forgiveness and love are totally different things.There is a quote from Oprah (people attribute it to her, but really, she heard it elsewhere, and then shared it with the world) Anyway, it's You can't rewrite what happened. You can't change his behaviour. And forgiving what he did is not condoning what he did, but it frees you from being stuck in the pain and the trauma he caused.Loving him? Well, he is your father, so you may have some good memories, along with the painful ones. But just because he is your father does not mean he is entitled to love. Love is something YOU decide to give.As a person with an abusive parent, I am still battling with the love/anger balance. We are on opposite sides of the spectrum - I've had that victim thing where I love far far too much!But someone recently gave me some good advice: I can love that parent, but it doesn't mean I need to see them, or talk to them. The love is to keep my heart healthy, it is not something they actually need contact with. And if I want a relationship with that parent, I have the choice to leave the second anything painful occurs.Being hurt by a parent is a very confusing thing. But you must protect yourself now that you can, and it is okay to do so.For decades I tried to MAKE my mother love me. I did everything she ever wanted, better than she ever hoped, trying to make an unhappy person happy.All I ever did was love her. She still hates me. It still hurts.So silently, at home, when I am prayerful, I will acknowledge to myself that I have great love for her, and I will do my best to remember the good things. But I do not LIKE her. And I do not RESPECT her. And I do still fear what she might strike me with next.If I have to call her, and my husband can't do it for me, I won't call in the morning (hangover time), or in the evening (mean drunk time). And in person I will not be alone with her in the same room.So always protect yourself, and love yourself. You come first. And if your heart isn't wanting to give him love, that is okay. That is your call. Be okay with yourself needing that.I don't know if my answer is helpful to you, but I hope you find your peace with things.
What is your experience in getting beaten as a child?
Personally I wasn’t beaten as a child, and if I were, living in Canada, I wouldn’t be allowed to say it. My friend was and I saw what happened to her. The teachers would never believe anything bad about your parents but it was worse if they did believe it. My friends dad was almost 7 feet tall and looked about 500 pounds. Everyone was afraid of him. She was 4’8” and maybe 90lbs even at 18 years old. He told her she wasn’t allowed to get “fat” like her mom and sister. Starved her, locked her up. We called child protection to help her and they asked her if her dad beat her with him standing right there. She was scared and said no. She was off school the next six days and came back with a black eye.Finally after he almost killed her, she called child protection on herself. She was 13. She got placed in a foster home and the foster dad pimped her off to his friends. She ran away and begged the social worker not to send her back. They put in her file that she had mental issues and paranoia. She started working really hard in court to help her dad win because he was less scary than foster care.One of our other friends took her in and she started doing drugs constantly. She robbed the house while the girl was out, disappeared for a while and by the time I saw her again she was working at a strip club and happy to be so “safe”….In Canada a lot of foster homes are abusive in every way. As a parent you can’t tell anyone you have a mental health issue or they’ll call you unfit and take your kids away. So parents suffering from stuff like depression and postpartum psychosis can’t get any help. We’ve been saying for years that the system sets up families to be destroyed and violence to be visited upon children by criminals who are being allowed to run amock
My step dad hits my dog?? HELP ASAP?
Yesterday my stepdad was watching tv and my dog peed on the carpet. Yes i know thats bad but does my step dad really need to go over to her and slap her accrossed her face?? And when my dog is doing something wrong or is barking he will take the remote for the tv and hold it up and pretend to swat her with it. It scares me. I dont want my puppy to be hurt!! What do i do?
I beat up my dad yesterday?
So im a 17 year old and yesterday i was in the kitchen making some food while my mom and dad was watching tv. My dad was really drunk. Suddenly my dad becomes really angry and starts talking all kind of bullshit. After about 5 min of load yelling, my mom tries to calm him down, She tells him that it would be smart to go to bed because he was so drunk. My dad grabs my mom by the troath and hits her HARD, and she falls to the ground. When i saw this, i lost it. I ran too him, and tackled him to the ground though a glass door. I land on the top of him, and start punching him in the face about 30-40 times. My mom stops the fight and when i stand up, i see blood everywhere. My dad is uncontious, and was bleeding like crazy. For some wierd reason, my mom gets angry at ME, and kicks me out. So now im living with a friend. Explaned the situation to his parents, and they said its ok for me to live there as long as i want. Anyway, what do you think i should do now? I dont want to go to the police, or go back to my parents. I dont really want anything to do with my dad, never liked him, allways been a cynical asshole. But i love my mom. Im really confuced right now. What should i do?
How do I stop my female family members to watch stupid TV shows?
before answering ur question, i wanna ask why u have this idea. u think shows they watch are stupid, then which category in ur head is not stupid and can bring u some benefit w.r.t ur knowledge or taste. Shows are just a way to entertain and relieve. So don’t be so serious. Once I also wanted to ask my prarents watch something more meaningful and logical. But I found that the so called good shows are kinda difficult for them to understand. The knowledge and information they have may lag behind the time. Let them make their own choice. Dont even bother to try.