Advice for allowing my daughter's boyfriend to move in?
My seventeen year old daughter's boyfriend will be moving into my home by early April - they've only been dating for a few months and have known each other for a few years - because he was laid off and can no longer afford to live in his apartment. Now I would really appreciate any extra precautions I should take and anything I could do to make his stay tolerable. Of course they won't be sleeping in the same room, but are there any other precautions I should take?
My daughter’s friend is not a great influence. What, if anything, should I do?
You should do very little, a bad friend is a life vaccine.Kids and teens can be wilful and sneaky, forbid something and it shines brighter.If your child gets into a scrape she’ll have learn not to follow a bad influence, good. Don’t excuse your daughter’s bad behaviour though, however bad the influence she must be responsible for her actions.Be there for your daughter, boost her self esteem in a subtle, realistic way and offer to pay for some wholesome hobbies she’ll enjoy, that’s less time spent with this bad influence. Also invite this girl around for tea and see if you can get to know her, female friendships can be as intense as a romance and if you behave as if you like this girl there’s no chance of an “us and them” situation, also you can keep a close eye on their activities.If this friendship is manipulative and goes wrong she may well recognise a boyfriend’s bad behaviour in the future, a little vaccine now can mean less trouble later.
What should I do about my daughter's boyfriend turning her against our family?
This is a tough situation. Some boyfriend/girlfriend see family attachment as competition and so try to create distance. Maybe he is the controlling type?What I would suggest is:Do your level best NOT to criticize him to your daughter. believe me her defending her boyfriend to you is not in your best interest. Maybe some carefully (very carefully) placed questions on occasion to your daughter about How does that make you feel? Do you think that is reasonable?Keep the faith, pray if you are that kind of person. Most young women have several boyfriends in their dating years. Hopefully he will become a negative experience that she can learn and grow from. You have to experience being manipulated to learn how to avoid it in future.Stay consistent. Whatever your habit is for contact keep doing it. So you speak once a week with your daughter - keep that up even if the conversations are unpleasant.Don’t over play your hand when she comes to you complaining about how unreasonable her boyfriend is. Breaking up is in stages and if you let loose with what a sorry, controlling, SOB he is and how glad you are she is finally seeing the light. Well she will avoid you when she reconciles with him. Again, occasional carefully placed questions. When it looks like the relationship is over for good then maybe you can start discussing with her about how she needs a man who supports her, not controls her.If possible let the jerk think you are on his side. Include him, give him some mothering. Don’t know if you have already passed this point.Let her know she is a very important part of the family and the door is always open.
My daughter is 18 and I saw her hanging out with her friends, how should I punish her?
Question: Why do you consider your eighteen year old daughter (considered an adult in many areas, by the way) in violation of having friends away from the family? Are you so afraid of losing your “indentured servant” that you need to keep watch on her 24-hours a day? Why don’t you trust your daughter after eighteen years to have friends and “hang-out” with them without your constant supervision? WHY do you feel the need to punish your daughter for doing such a natural thing that most, if not all people her age do?Was you own childhood so horrible where your own parents hovered over you constantly to make sure you didn’t stray out of their sight because they didn’t trust you as well so now you’re passing on these bad parental “skills” onto your own daughter?Think about all of this for a moment. She has done nothing wrong. You shouldn’t punish her. If her friends aren’t a bad influence and if they’re out at a reasonable hour on a school night (I’m only assuming this is in the evening; this could be happening during the daytime.) having a nice time, you should stop spying on them and let her come home at the curfew time that you both agreed upon for week nights. You need to lighten up. Save your punitive actions for when they are actually needed. My goodness, I would hate to think what your punishment would be if I were in her shoes and I came home and told you I was pregnant. ;-) (Death penalty?)
I'm embarrassed to tell my mum about my boyfriend!!!?
hiya ma name is kelly im 14 and im goin out with this really sweet boy steven. we are not sexually invloved. its weird im totally embarrased to tell my mum about him! I dont want her to know about him, i feel bad on him though!! has anyone eles experianced this ?? if ur a mum would you be upset if your daugher didnt tell you? no horrible comments please!! luv kellyxxx
Does rap badly influences the society of today?
Yes. and Hip Hop too. Kids who are trying to find their own place in the world, are listening and making the artists role models. ALL teenagers want to buck the system. I say teenagers (though older people...20+ are into it too) because that's when most people are influenced to rebel against how the previous generation is living. That's how we progress, really...when someone thinks outside the box, but when your influences tell you to step so far out, that you think it's SO important to have material goods (ie; high dollar shoes, gold jewelry etc...) so you LOOK like you have your act together...that you will steal to get it...or when they promote women 'shakin' that a$$' and the girls all think guys will RESPECT them for it...the role models are doing much more damage than good. It's more important now, to carry a weapon to school, kill off your enemies and procreate like the gangsta's sing about, than it is to take care of your family and make something REAL of yourself. You will NOT get respect, or financial security or a boyfriend/husband that will treat you right because you leave the house half naked, rub yourself all over other GIRLS on the dance floor and think everytime you hear a rap song, you have to pretend you're humping something. You will NOT find a girlfriend who will be true to you, and stand by your side and support you, because you carry a gun and give her stolen jewelry, while calling her your bi7 ch. I know...you can easily SAY that people who assimilate like that are stupid, and that only a few do that. Ozzy Ozbourne has been blamed for quite a few suicides...but then, people didn't commit suicide by the hundreds over Ozzy music. People ARE joining gangs, doing drive by's and having 4 babies by 4 different people...by the hundreds.