How do I let down my lesbian friend?
Maybe you need to be a bit more direct, your telling her that "your not looking for a romantic relationship". What does that me? If your not interested in her because you are not a lesbian, then you should be able to tell her that and she should respect that. When I was in America, I met a woman, we were neighbours and became friends, we used to take the children out together, then one day I noticed her looking at me differently,it crossed my mind but I paid no attention to it, then on another occasion she told me how she felt, I was shocked, I laughed and then apologised because I didn't intend to hurt her feelings. She done similar things, like telling me she would love to see me naked and would walk behind me, so she could see the sun shining through my clothers, I found that uncomfortable. Initially, I stopped meeting up with her, but I actually liked her as a friend and we had a lot in common, so I met up with her on my own one day for lunch and told her that I really liked her as a friend and she was my only friend in the US at that time, but I was uncomfortable with the situation, I told her I wanted us to be friends, but couldn't if she continued to disrespect me. I explained to her that I respected her sexuality and enjoyed our friendship, but I was not into women. I know that she wasn't happy but I drew a line and because she valued our friendship she learne't not to cross it. 8 years on I'm back in the UK and we are still friends, no issues. Be Straight with her. Sssandy
Why am I being friends with people who let me down?
First off, you’re not stupid. Life is a never-ending series of learning experiences, which never really stop, not if you’re an introspective person. And as teenagers there’s a lot to learn about who you are, and how you relate to other people, many of those things are still under development. We’ve all been there, and we’ve all done things that didn’t work for us. That can be painful, but we hopefully come out of it a little wiser each time.Only a very few of us still have friends from when we were little kids. Friendships need to keep growing with the people involved, or yes, they will end or will stagnate and just be nostalgic; mostly people just drift apart instead of there being a big breakup scene. That’s probably better anyway, because it leaves fewer hard feelings.It sounds like that drift is what’s started happening for you, but you keep hanging on because you find it hard to just let go of something that was meaningful. That’s also not stupid; you’re loyal, which is generally a good quality in a friend. But it also means that you will tend to stick around longer than things really work for you. I can see you realize that already.The fact that parties drain you points at you being introverted. Your description of how you interact with people also points that way, you are naturally more reserved. Amy, on the other hand, sounds extraverted, like somebody who gains energy from being in the midst of other people, and who enjoys being a social butterfly — that’s actually a huge personality difference, and you’ll have to learn how to parcel out the time you spend with others so you don’t end up exhausted and grumpy. It’ll help if you make friends who’re also introverted, and do much more low-key things with them, and just occasionally go to a party for just as long as you actually have fun.Here’s what I would suggest: don’t break the friendship with Amy, but start branching out, and get close to other people you know and like. Pick people who’re not into partying, but who have something in common with you. Spread your wings a little. Easy does it, do it low pressure. It might actually even improve your friendship with Amy if you no longer look at her as your touchstone, but if you have other people with whom to be more yourself. Or maybe you’ll slowly drift further apart — I am just saying wean yourself slowly, without drama. Cause drama also exhausts introverts, and it doesn’t help anyone.Good luck!
Why do my friends always let me down?
I am very frustrated lately. I should be happy-I am engaged and have a basically good life, but I cannot get over the fact that it seems to me as if certain people in my life just treat me like absolute crap. And unfortunately they usually seem to be people I have become friends with semi-recently. ie we meet at a job or some other way, begin to spend time together and get close over a period of a few months, and then they seem to lose interest in doing things, after previously wanting to see me all the time. I have had friends that want to be around me far more than I want to see them in the beginning, and then it' s almost as if they get bored and want to find something else to do, and they stop doing the kind, thoughtful things they did before. I feel ridicuous bringing this sort of thing up in a relationship ("Why don't you call me as much as you used to?" "You don't care about me as much as you did!") as I'm sure I'd sound like a child, when I am 31 yrs old! To cont. below. . .
Always getting let down by my boyfriend?
ok...My boyfriend of 4 years recently told me he was thinking about getting an apartment with his two friends who are single and can do what they want so i told him he had to choose either to be with me or move in with them and he choose to move in even knowing the consequences he still did it well i took him back i thought i was over reacting. Well he lives in FL he is in the military and he told me that he would find a way to get me there as much as he could to visit well he said he didnt have money this weekend so i let it go but then he went out and bought all this stuff for his apatment its like that apartment is more important then me he always lets me down he dont really call that much and he always acts like it is a job to talk to me and be around me i love him so much and i want to be with him i have tried to talk to him and everything it dont work. 4 years is a long time to let go if you have any advice please HELP!!!!
Has a close friend ever let you down at a critical time? How did you deal with it?
I did, and it once hurts so bad that I wanted to keep all things privately, sitting in a corner and just be a loner.. However, do not ever call an end to the friendship. I did once, and I regret losing my best friend, until now. As I grew older and more mature, I treasure friendship so much that although it took me awhile, I usually forgive them once I understand why or if they offer an apology. I want things to get back to normal and get them back in my life, so I often try not to hold things against people, especially those whom I've known for such a long term. so yeah, i'm awesome :D