My Friend is Completely Oblivious To Everything?
Let's call her K, and I guess she is my closest friend here. All she does is constantly complain (I come to school and she makes a bee line to me to tell me how she was soooo tired). She squeals and makes the most obnoxious sounds ever. When she says no she screeches it. To say no in her language, say nnnnnnn with your tongue on the bottom of your mouth and then screech "NOOOO" like an annoying mario on steriods. Or yoshi. The only things we talk about is her. Her complaints. Her screeches. Her, her her. Just once I would like to conversation to be equally. Another thing that annoys me is that she says she is forever alone. She wants to be alone, shes not planning on future and thats fine we are young, whatever. But she purposefully tries to sit the farthest away from civilization, is on facebook constantly, will zone out, and is making it extremely hard for me not to look like a loser. (I've already achieved this, so its okay, but still...) What should I do about this? I have only 7 more weeks of school and then I am moving which I am super excited and happy for. But I am not going to let her keep me depressed. I was lonely at first and now I am depressed outside but optimistic inside. She is killing everything You know when they say when you hang with happy people you feel happy? Well, thats true. But I am hanging witha depressed hermit and its making me very sad inside. What should I do?
How do I get a guy friend who I have a crush on but is completely oblivious to notice me in a different way?
Show him more love care .. try spending more time with him.. start ur relationship as being a good friend of him .. make him realize you are always there for him .. one fine day he will also realize he is fond of you and tries to get your attention. You can probably take him for a nice date that time and propose him at the right time
Why do some twin flames seem completely oblivious to the connection while the counterpart is haunted by it constantly?
If they’re truly your twin they are far from oblivious ..it’s a mask. Everything you feel they feel you are eternally connected …some just have a very good way of pretending to be happy especially if you two are in separation. I myself was dying each day when I separated from mine crying every day but on social media and even around family and friends I looked great and like everything’s was the same ….all the while I was tormented by his memory every single day when he disappeared …only my best friend knew what I was going through …but everybody else will tell you to move on etc because nobody will understand the suffering and intensity of being without your TF. Also just because they’re your TF doesn’t mean it’s ok to let them abuse or hurt you a true TF will never hurt you intentionally or manipulate you in any way because it hurts them also ….my TF never purposely did anything he never offended me or anything like that he would just hide and basically ignore my messages which at the time seemed like a cruel narcissist move but then when we would talk it was obvious he was afraid of what he felt for me he would be clumsy and nervous it was weird… I would question him and he would say If only you knew how I feel ….if you only knew I think of you all the time but I just know you feel it I know you do I’m not crazy but I don’t understand … he looked overwhelmed and nervous like he didn’t know what to do with what he was feeling
My friend is a user, or is she spoiled and oblivious?
I fixed a computer for a friend not long ago, for no charge at all. She was fully aware of how long it took, I know because she bugged me the entire time I had it - wanting to know how soon I would be finished! Not only did she not offer to pay me or do any favors for me, at the time I returned her laptop to her she reminded me that I owed her $17 from a couple weeks back *and* she also made me pay for her coffee and cake on top of that. Let me add that she has had "money problems" with friends before...she gave a friend a very expensive gift, and then later tried to get money from the friend, or get the gift back (I think she was trying to pay her house payment but still!). Now she is wanting me to do the same data transfer/tweak type thing to her new computer and she is being very pushy and demanding, and of course is again not offering anything in return. Also, a few weeks ago she was supposed to sell me some of her old electronics and other household items that I was going to give to my son for his birthday. I had already bought some things from her to help fund her next venture. So, for months I tried to pin her down about a price and when she finally gave me one, even though it was a little high, I agreed. When I got paid and tried to seal the deal, she told me that it was not for sale any more. Today I told her in a nutshell that since I had just recently lost both my laptop and my desktop, that I needed to work on those first so that I could complete my tax return and use the refund to buy my son something else for his birthday! Basically, I told her that I needed to look out for number one at this time. I thought she would be pissy, and maybe she is - we have only been e-mailing - but now she is bugging me for the names, costs, and where to buy the equipment and software that I used to fix her computer before. I don't think I can take it any more! This girl is clueless as to how entitled she seems, and I don't have the heart to tell her that she's acting like a selfish, spoiled brat. I am not even interested in giving her the information she is requesting. Should I just walk away now, or tell her she's a selfish, spoiled brat? I'm not perfect by any means but I don't ever treat my friends this way.
Some say narcissists are unaware and completely oblivious of how they treat people and others say narcissists know what they are doing (in the present) to those they love, they simply don't care how it ends. Which one is it?
All good answers here and I’ll add mine with a follow up question; If narcissists were unaware of how their actions affect people and/or what they are doing is clearly wrong then why do they go to such great lengths to cover up their lies? Why do they in many instances foresee how people might react and then already have some fabricated story in place to their defense? They are NOT unaware they lack empathy and care and they know that every relationship will ultimately end badly, it’s just a matter of time.A narcissist I once knew said that he knew that he was hurting others badly with his abusiveness, projections, gaslighting, deceit, rage etc. but he said that in the moment of rage (where he couldn’t “handle” what was going on), he HAD to take it out on the other person and that it was the only way to “let out steam”. He said that it relieved the pressure/anger for him and then he felt better. When I asked that if he was aware of the pain he caused, then how could he continue doing it? Then he added that he felt full of shame for doing this, that he knew it was wrong and that he was going to work on it.I was myself not aware of his complete lack of empathy at the time and (of course) experienced a discard not much later that had made all the other abuse feel like a walk in the park. So not only was he aware of his horrific abusiveness and the damage it did to others, he also knew what I needed to hear so he wouldn’t lose control and power. I have no doubt that he was already planning in his head how he was going to “make me pay” for questioning his false facade and behavior.So aware; YES. They are so aware that they can be 10 steps ahead of us knowing exactly how we likely will react to them. They are just very good at projecting and hiding their true nature to make it appear as they are always the good guys and we are the ones with the problems. Of course this narcissist can’t speak for all of them but believe me when I say that he’s a “classic” case of a covert narcissist.
Have you ever been in a situation where you were completely oblivious to something every other person knew?
I was with a friend who was visiting his girl friend. Everything seemed OK until he started asking how her mother was, how her sister was, how her grandparents were, and on an on. Believing this to be a bit peculiar, I blurted out, “Why don’t you ask her about her dad?”. She burst into tears and scampered away. My friend hustled me out of the house, and then told me her dad had died just a week ago. I wish he would have let me in on this before we got there. I felt awful and beyond embarrassed. It was definitely one of those “I wish I could take it back” moments.
I am falling for my best friend, but she is quite oblivious when it comes to guys and hints, so my indirect efforts are useless. What should I do?
Be more direct.Exactly what indirect efforts have you made?Some people are good at picking up indirect hints, many are not. Some pick up on them but ignore them if they don’t feel the same. Some pick up on them, feel similarly, but are afraid of losing the friendship. The problem is that you never know which one it is unless you actually talk about it.So, be more direct, but not heavy-handed. Do it in a way that you’ll both feel pretty safe in keeping the friendship. I have honestly never found this to be a problem, because if we are really good friends, that means we can talk about anything, even uncomfortable and potentially embarrassing things. So I’ve always just come out with it. And it’s never destroyed any of my friendships, even though my feelings were not always reciprocated. You have to be prepared for the latter, and make an extra effort to not allow the friendship falter, even though you will be hurt, and that will actually be difficult to do for a while.How has she had bad experiences with guys when she’s not dated? Did they just come on too strong and pester her, didn’t take no for an answer? If you know what they did wrong you already know what not to do. You might want to acknowledge that explicitly to her.You could ramp up the romantic content without coming right out and admitting to falling for her. Directness has worked for me but I am not a very romantic person. You could make small gestures, like write her poetry (hand written, on nice stationary), present her with a single flower (make it her favourite), dedicate a love song to her on the radio, send her a card listing 10 things you really like about her. Be personal, don’t just use generic clichés. Invite her to an explicitly romantic movie and a nice dinner for a special occasion like her birthday. Eventually you will still have to say something, but Id make a special point somewhere in there, maybe in writing, that you value the friendship a lot, and that no matter what, you always want to be friends with her.
Is my best friend is oblivious to her crush?
So i keep telling my best friend, Nicole, that she is oblivious when it comes to a guy that likes her. All my friends clearly know she likes him, and he likes her, but no matter what, she always disagrees saying there is no way a popular guy like him would like an average girl like her. But I beg to differ. He is always teasing her and mocking her(in a flirty way) he is always trying to make her laugh and talk to her all the time, and is caught staring at her quite often. But no matter what I tell her, she always says something like " No he doesn't like me. I know for sure. He is popular and I am not so he wouldn't go for me anyways.Plus he never texts me and is always flirting with other girls. There is no way he likes me." blah blah blah. I really think that he likes her and that she is oblivious. What do you think? Do you think I am right, or is Nicole right. Do you think he likes her or not? I do but I want to know what you think. Thanks!
Have I been best friend zoned? Or am I totally oblivious to his advances?
You like being friends with him and you also have a feeling for him. My opinion is, you actually want to more than just a friend with him, but you don’t want to jeopardize the friendship you guys had, in case he said no. You think the longer you be friends with him, the bigger chance you guys would end up together knowing you know each other well. I’ve had the same experience last year, so if you let me tell this story...We’ve been friends for 3 years, and we know each other history, life, and everything I guess. I knew that there would be a time when one of us have a unusual feeling, and that was me. So I managed the courage, it took 3 months btw, to tell her that I loved her. Because I know, after I confessed my feeling, things would never be the same anymore. In that moment I thought, “if I got this, then I would be the happiest guy ever, and if I blew this, I’d lose a very best friends I probably never found again”. Then the greatest thing happened, she took me as her boyfriend and I can’t stop smiling since then.Go tell him how you feel. Take your chance, your best chance to have a best love story. And IF he doesn't feel the same way, you will know that would be the moment you have to move on from him.