My Friend Is Really Annoying Me And I Feel Like Telling Him How I Really Feel

How do I tell my friend politely that they are annoying?

This seems to be the other side of the coin of a question I just answered about being “brutally honest.”In my experience, friends like this are not intending to be malicious. While I agree with Sapphire Silver’s answer, I disagree vehemently with taking a “blunt” approach. On the contrary, you need to take considerable care and sensitivity when approaching her.If you do “love” her, as you state, and you want what’s best for not only yourself, and her, but also the relationship between you two, you will need to understand the consequences of how you approach her with this.The best approach I’ve ever known is to take things slowly in your approach. For example, a conversation might go like this:[In private, definitely not in public, and not when you are irritated or annoyed.]“[Friend], I need to talk to you about something really delicate.”Her: “Okaaaaay.”You: “It’s been hard to get up the courage to talk to you about this, because I don’t want to upset you.”At this point, she will likely be quite curious about what you have to say, but the “entry price” to learning this is that she will have to not get emotionally riled up about hearing bad news.Assuming she agrees in some fashion (e.g., “You can tell me anything,” or “I promise I won’t hold anything against you,” etc.), then you can tell her that she has some habits that make it difficult to enjoy having her around.I’d avoid words like “irritating,” “annoying,” or “inappropriate” if at all possible. I’d also avoid naming specific instances or moments, which she will want to know about. Instead, try to focus on general behavior (interruptions, non-sequitur changes in conversation, topics of conversation that may not be of interest to those around her such as the singer, etc.). If you give her specifics, she is likely to try to defend those specific actions, rather than listen to the main point you are trying to make.Remember that the purpose of such a conversation is to preserve the relationship between you, even improve it. If that is not your goal, or your desire, then you can feel free to ignore this advice and be as “blunt’ as you wish - you’ll find that you will have no shortage of people who will gladly avoid you if that becomes your modus operandi.

Why do I feel like I am really annoying?

We all have certain characteristics that seem natural to us, but that others find irritating. I’ve been annoyed by someone reading over my shoulder. He was astonished when I told him and said he hadn’t realised. A friend who frequently interrupts what I'm saying and finishes my sentences with what he thinks I'm going to say, gets my back up. He thought I would be impressed that he knows me so well. He doesn’t do it any more! A workmate came to dinner and made sickening noises as he ate. He’s lived alone for years and had no idea. A woman I worked with had bad breath so everyone avoided her. I used to seriously irritate my partner by always offering to help. When, after a serious shouting match, I was told how annoying and insulting it was, I realised and stopped.Most people will not be honest if you ask them if you are annoying them. They’ll smile brightly and shake their heads. ‘No, no. What made you think that?’Some people act annoyed at people with the ‘wrong’ accent. There’s no limit to the things that annoy people. Usually they hide it. Perhaps you are more sensitive than most, and you’re over reacting to normal, robust social intercourse. Lots of sensitive people feel like that, which is why they tend to avoid social activities.Do you get the impression that everyone is annoyed by you, or only some people? If it’s only one or two, it should be possible to carefully and discretely ask them why. But… if they tell you, do not deny it, or bluster, or offer excuses. Even if you think they are wrong, smile and thank them for their honesty and then go away and consider carefully what they said.When I was a teenager I was frequently told to shut up, because I had a tendency to prattle on, [like I’m doing now]. I learned to restrain myself. I also tend to talk too loudly in public, and that embarrasses people… Fortunately, I’m the sort that people dare to tell the truth to, so I do learn eventually.If none of those things apply to you, then find people who are not annoyed by you and stick to them.

How can I tell my best friend that she is annoying without hurting her feelings?

There's no need to tell her you find her annoying. That sounds like a personal attack. You said you like her very much, so it can't be all annoying to you (unless you're not being honest with yourself).There's nothing wrong in telling her that boy gossip doesn't interest you. If she finds it fascinating, she assumes you do too. I don't know if you've already tried changing the topic, though that can be exhausting too. What do you have in common?I understand if you find her to be clingy or taking up too much of your time. I accidentally made a fellow Kindergardener cry, because I wanted to change up who I was playing with. The teacher scolded me. I felt so guilty, but now at age 38, I realize that I had done nothing wrong. It's unfair for one person to monopolize all of your time. You decide who can be in your life and to what extent. The least painful is when things work out organically -- a gradual fade into a more comfortable frequency. Certain personalities may force you to be direct about it, though, and those are the personalities that are more likely to put you in the bind in the first place. It doesn't always end well. Other times, it's fine. "It's not you, it's me" works pretty well. You might have to explain how serious you are about your studies or that socializing in large doses exhausts you. It's perfectly fine to describe what your needs are. If the person you share them with doesn't respect that, it's their problem, not yours.Good luck!