I feel alone and left out by my friends in a group; what should I do?
When I was in middle school, I felt the same way about one of my friend groups. I noticed that they always seemed to have an easier time talking amongst themselves. They had inside jokes I wasn’t weighing in on, their humor seemed to become more and more foreign to me, and they seemed to not care at all when I wasn’t there with them. I felt like an outsider looking through the glass.About a year later, I looked back on this, and realized that I simply didn’t fit in with them. I had different interests, different perspectives, different humor, different philosophy, different lifestyle, different everything. I wanted to be in a group that I wasn’t meant to be in.Going further into this, I also understood the group dynamics that caused me to drift from them.I’m an introvert. When I hang out with friends, I started noticing that I start burning out after around an hour. I simply got tired of socializing and went back to my awkward self. I always preferred doing things by myself rather than with other people. Now the group I was in seemed to care more about how well you can socialize to make each other happy. I obviously lost when it came to that factor.I matured. I also realized that I matured at a much faster rate than the friend group I was in at the time. I was going through a rough time, and I had a lot of time to contemplate morals, values, ethics, as well as my beliefs, desires, and insecurities. I gained multiple new perspectives, while my friend group stayed in their middle school teenager mindset.I had different friendship values. The friend group that I was in during middle school, had different friendship values than me. I valued acceptance, tolerance, listening to each other, and cherishing each other, while they valued having a good time together, enjoying the now, and relating to each others’ interests. So from those principles, we naturally drifted. To be honest, I don’t really think they truly cared about me as a human being.That was my experience with being pushed out of a friend group.I can’t speak for you, but my suggestion to you would be to simply see how things go. You’ll want to be more communicative with them, and maybe it’s due to other factors for why you felt more distant. Eventually, you’ll know whether or not to stick with them. At the same time, go out of your comfort zone. Be open-minded and make some friends with other people.
Feeling left out...HELP PLEASE!!!!?
As an introvert myself, I know what you are feeling. I have been there so many times in life! It sounds like you are genuinely trying to make an effort to reach out to people, so I know it is frustrating that they aren't responding. The most important thing to remember is that as an introvert, you have so much to give to the world and you are a worthwhile person. You are probably a great listener, a deep and reflective thinker and someone who is sensitive and understanding of other people-- not to mention a good and loyal friend. Introverts often get misunderstood and their positive qualities go overlooked. There are some great books out there for introverts to help you feel better about yourself when it seems the whole world doesn't 'get' you. "The Gift of Shyness" is one and "The Introvert Advantage--how to Thrive in an Extrovert World" is another. Both of these have helped me understand my personality better and manage my energy levels for dealing with people. As for your situation right now with your friends, it might be worthwhile to seek out some new ones (I know--that's not easy either!) Look for other quiet people---they will probably appreciate being approached. Give sincere compliments. Find people who share something in common with you--musical tastes, books, classes. Conversation flows so much easier when you have similar interests. Be patient and give relationships time to develop (other quiet people may have a hard time opening up, too!). Most of all, try not to be too hard on yourself. Being introverted is something you were born with, a part of your unique personality. If not for the introverts of the world, so many books would have gone unwritten, so many works of art unfinished! I hope this helps.
I feel left out with my friends?!?
Okay, well I am feeling really left out with my friends. For example, today. I was waiting for my dad to pick me up, and my group of friends walked past me. without a glance at me. My closer friend, who now seems like the "leader" was laughing at some stupid corny joke she made up. I yelled "Hi!" at them, and they waved and played nice and all. they said they were going to starbucks and yada yada. I know this sounds really stupid, but I am feeling really left out. Like everyone invites everyone, except me. Like when I am talking to my friend on the phone, she talks about how she had so much fun with my other two buddies. For example. she'll go like, "Haley started laughing at this dude whoo tried flirting with her at the mall!" or something like that. And I just play along and pretend that i dont' care. but I do. I'm like when did this happen? why wasn't I THERE with you guys? I need some advice on how to approach this, because I am feeling really left out and sad. Please nothing mean. Help is appreciated!
Why do I always feel left out of my friend group?
I like the answer Anna gave you.Beyond that, YOU are the common denominator here. Either it’s something you are doing wrong or you are picking the wrong groups.Consider your self talk. Everybody tells themselves things. Do you perhaps tell yourself, “Nobody likes me,” “I never fit in,” “See, this group is just like the other one,” and the like?If so, change your self-talk. Tell yourself, “People like me,” and “I fit in everywhere I go.”And stop looking for evidence to the contrary that seems to confirm what you already believe.People exclude themselves all the time!When I was in college as a non-traditional-aged student twenty years older than the regular students, a student thirteen years younger than I encouraged me to join in with his group—all traditional-aged college students 18–22 years old. At first I declined thinking, “They’ll never accept me; I’m old enough to be their mom.”But my friend insisted, I joined the group and it was fine! I had a great time all through my college years with people young enough to be my children. (They were a lot more fun than the older students my age.)I had the advantage of someone encouraging me to join a group I thought would reject me. Since then I have encouraged others to join whatever group I am in.I know how it feels to be excluded and also to exclude yourself.
It seems like all my friends have better lives than me?
im 14 and i havnt had a gf since i was like 11, im not that good in sports but i do track, i make okay grades . . . i go on facebook and scroll down through my newsfeeds and see everybody making statuses about going out and having fun all the time, like lots of my friends ALWAYS have plans on the weekends and fridays ! all i do is sit around the house , maybe go outside and take a walk hang out with a few friends that arent doing anything . i just want to have a fun life like all my friends have , my parents get on my nerves most of the time , they both have good jobs but my stepdad smokes weed and my mom cooks and cleans. . well he helps out a lot to but still , my parents are not strict but can be sackriders sometimes ! i feel like my life sucks and my friends are always having fun like im left out of the picture .
My friends always hang out without me and it makes me feel like I’m an outsider, but I don’t have the courage to say anything. What should I do?
Well, I'm the exact opposite. I don't hang out with my friends. I do but not all the time. Most of the time I don't feel like going out. So my friends might feel I don't like them. But I love going to their place to have a conversation over a cup of coffee. I can even sit on a rooftop with my friends and say nothing. I find the silence beautiful. But that too, I do rarely. I'll tell you something. Hanging out is something very pointless. It is more about ‘time pass’. I know people who hangout together constantly and they have all the fun in the world. They come back home and then they forget each other. Life is not just fun and games and hangouts. Life is a lot more meaningful than that. So hangouts don't really mean anything.I'm telling you this to help you see it from a different perspective. It is not necessary that your friends who hangout all the time actually mean a lot to each other or they really care for each other. I'm not saying they don't but it's not necessary. Probably you're not the outsider, probably you're just not a ‘fun’ person for them. If ‘fun’ is the only criteria for people to choose friends then it's better that you're an outsider. But do they call you? Do they discuss their problems with you? Would they come and help you out incase you're in trouble? Will they be comfortable if you stay with them at their place? Ask these questions to yourself and try to find an answer. If the answer is YES then trust me you're the one who is not an outsider to be precise. If NO then these are not your friends and hence hanging out with them is absolutely pointless. And even if you're someone who is fond of hangouts, ask them if you can come with them. Go out with them once, enjoy as much as you can and after coming back ask yourself ‘Now what?’. There are chances that it will seem like an one time thing without any deep bond. And this is exactly what I'm talking about.I feel you're feeling bad because you're seeing it differently. Maybe developing a better perspective would make you feel better about yourself. And after the hangout if you feel your friends mean a lot to you, simply ask what the problem is. Pick one person who you feel is the closest to you and talk to him/her. And learn to find happiness in things that you have already than things like hangouts with people you don't even care about.Hope this will help. Good luck :)
People with Aspergers Syndrome, are you sick and tired of feeling left out and ignored?
I have Asperger's and Dyslexia and whenever we have a get together, most people seem to ignore me. I tried to hang out with some of my cousins yesterday and they just moved away from me or ignore me, like I have a disease. I see them having a great time, and never ask me to join them. Even on Facebook, when I comment on someone's (that I know) status and they ignore my comments. Nobody ever writes on my wall. I would write on there's but some, NEVER respond back. High school was difficult for me. Whenever I talk to somebody, they seem to enjoy talking to me, but when they see their friends, they turned me off and go hangout with them and forget about me. Whenever my "friends" are with their friends, they would pretend that they didn't know me. I'm not gonna talk about my childhood, cause it's kinda heartbreaking. :'( It hurts me when everyone else is having a great time with their friend and I'm all alone, frustrated, crushed, and sometimes feel like crying.
What should we do when we feel left out?
Thanks for A2A. Being left out and left behind are two different aspects if considered in a right manner. But, if they happen to happen together for a person it's the worst feeling to be felt by anyone. Lets just focus on these two aspects differently.So let's consider *being left out * first. Being left out by friends, by family, by colleagues or your Co-workers can happen at times if they miss your presence by mistake. But, if they deliberately do it and you get to notice it, it can be upsetting for you. Not focusing upon the upsetting part, let's just come up to the solution, that what needs to be done. Keep holding the feeling until it starts killing you, if you can be vocal about it, be vocal about it but if not you need to take a stand for yourself and get out of the space and the people in the space who make you feel left out and negative about yourself like every single time.Now let's come to being *left behind*. There must be many times I might have been left behind by some of my childhood friends because I moved somewhere else in life and they moved somewhere else. That's normal. In a way I left them behind too. But if someone a friend/a lover/ a person whom you love to life want him/her to be with you all your life leaves you behind it can be upsetting. I recently was left behind by a person who kind of meant my world to me in a very short while and then he moved on from being someone else of mine to someone else of mine. Sounds funny but yes that person is still there with me as someone else but yes he left the *me* of what I was to him, and he moved on to someone else quite well with it. Its all weird but thats how it is. Anyway, so basically being left behind is not what one deserves if you think you actually thought for that person, loved that person and literally did things for that person going out of your way, but still if you are left behind by such person you sure know you don't deserve it and you need to be the stronger you and move on to the better people on life who are waiting for you out there to give you happiness. Moreover you need to be the stronger for the you that is waiting with a smile at the other half of life where only happiness and things that you truly deserve exist. I hope you understand what I mean by what I said. Also,keep this thing in mind always, you are the most important person in the world for yourself, no one else can take that place, unless one truly deserves it. Take care. :)