My friend keeps trying to set me up with men, but I'm in a very happy long term relationship. Why is she doing this?
My friend keeps trying to set me up with men, but I'm in a very happy long term relationship. Why is she doing this?Everybody else has answered this entirely satisfactorily, and when I first looked at this question I was going to agree with them.But, before you kick your friend to the curb, take the time to sit down with her and have a talk about why she’s doing this. There is another scenario that no-one has mentioned yet, and although it is less likely, between women it may be more likely.I have had a situation where I was “the friend” and had to toss up between losing a friend, or with-holding information from her to ensure the friendship continued. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, our friends can see things about our partners/husbands that we can’t see - because it opens old wounds, or it is too frightening to consider, or…? If your partner has made a pass at her, or if she’s aware that he is cheating on you, it is a HARD thing to tell your friend.So it depends on how much your friend wants you as a friend, or is prepared to lose you by telling you something you don’t want to hear/confront. And from my experience, there is no way of knowing which way it’s going to go. But you owe it to her AND to yourself to give her a chance to explain herself…If you decide to have a talk with her, prepare yourself to “possibly” hear some unwelcome truths. MANY abused women fall into the category of rejecting the information (and the friend) outright, and if you have some personal history there, well…Whatever you choose to do, prepare to lose her as a friend - either because you no longer want to hear what she says to you, or because she can no longer cope with “holding the secret” from someone she cares for…I chose to tell my friend, not knowing her backstory, and she went into a furious rage with me, and accused me of being jealous, of trying to “get with him”, and cut me dead… It was so far off the truth, that if it hadn’t been so emotionally charged, I might have laughed at that…It’s hard work straddling the “Chinese Wall”…And whatever way it turns out, it can cause heartbreak to many people, but *I* would rather KNOW, than be taken for a fool…YMMV - Good luck…
My friends are trying to set me up on blind dates. They said that they would keep setting me up until I had a boyfriend. How do I tell them that I do not want a boyfriend?
Thank you for your efforts to find me a boyfriend. I am very happy that you are all in loving relationships. BUT!I am too busy to begin a new relationship. Try again in 6 months.I am currently exploring my attraction to women. (Be careful with this one. They might start setting up blind dates with women)I am pining for a married man, I’m just waiting until he gets his divorce then we can be together. (Only works if you can say it with a straight face)I’m madly in love with a guy I can’t have and can’t feel any interest in any other guy at the moment. Try again in 6 months.I know you can’t imagine happiness without a guy but I really prefer to be single.I have no interest in sex. I think I might be a-gender.I am demisexual soI’m not sexually attracted to someone unless I have an emotional connection with them. This means at least 3 months of dating before I’m prepared to even think about sex. Make sure these guys know that.I’ve started seeing a guy. I don’t know if it’s going to go anywhere but I really like him and don’t want to screw things up by going out with anyone else. No, you can’t meet him, it’s still very early days. Yes, I’ll bring him round if things get serious.Do you think I might have any interest in the guys you keep digging up? Really??I know you mean well but the guys are just getting less and less compatible. How about you lay off until you’ve got a batch of good ones?Do you realise how humiliating it is to have my friends throwing me at guys? I know you think I’m a total loser but the real reason I don’t have a boyfriend is that I don’t want one.I am not going on another blind date. If you set me up for one I will not go. If you trick me into one I will leave immediately. If you trick me into one I cannot leave I will not accept any invitation from you for 6 months.
I have a boyfriend but my mom is trying to set me up?
Your Mom loves you and wants what she perceives as best for you. That is probably not going to be the same as your perception. She's a Mom, give her a little slack. Some suggestions, well, tell her that her behavior is hurting your feelings and that she taught you the golden rule when you were a child ( "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" at least mine did, so this would work for me) and that you'd like her to follow it. Ask her how she knows this guy is so great? Just because he's pre-med doesn't mean much, look what happened in "Dirty Dancing". If you didn't want to be quite so nice, you could tell her that you'd like to make your own mistakes and give her an opportunity to tell you "I told you so" because Moms really seem to enjoy that. OR You could go out with the guy - once -- then tell your Mom you didn't click. OR You could tell her okay, fix us up and then not show for the date, or take your boyfriend along.
He keeps trying to set me up with his friends?
Guys....I'm feeling some really serious emotional crap right about now. I've been crushing SUPER hard on this guy for over a year. We've hung out a few times, we text on a regular basis...he's attractive and kind... I just have this whole puppy love thing going with him. I had to hide him from my newsfeed on facebook so that I stop thinking about him (because I feel like if he had feelings for me, he would have shown me somehow, so I assumed I was friendzoned) but lately, he has been messaging me more. I felt like it was because maybe he was coming around and showing signs of interest and I got my hopes up... So, I kinda thought that we were "talking"...a few months back, he tried to set me up with a guy he met at a bar (ugh), and now he's trying to set me up with his friend/roommate. He's super drunk right now (he always does this whole setting me up with another guy thing when he's drunk) and I am frustrated. He always gets drunk and calls me or texts me...Sometimes he flirts with me and sometimes he tries to set me up with other guys. I told him I didn't want to be set up with his friends... It hurts because I really like him. I've been really crushing on him for over a year... I've even dated other people and I always still end up thinking about him and wanting to be with him. Has anyone been in this situation before? Does it seem like it's hopeless to try to be with him? If so...How did you find that it was best to get over your crush?
Is it a good thing that my friend keeps trying to hook me up with a guy we both work with although she knows I’m not interested so I can forget about my no good ex and the fact that I’m not ready to date?
It’s a good thing in the sense that your friend is trying to help you move on, but she is not considering how long it may take you to be ready to date again. You need to give yourself time to recover and to figure things out before you can dedicate time to another human being once again. How long you need is up to you, not her.I do have one qualm though and that’s the idea of hooking up with someone you work with. Probably not the best thing when you’re still moving on from someone else. If you do end up together at some point then that’s ok, but working with someone you’re dating can be a little smothering. You see them basically all the time, maybe even 24/7. Some people can handle that, but some people need more space.The worst part is if things end and it’s awkward or there’s bad blood between you. Then everytime you go to work you have to see each other. Doesn’t make for a very good work environment. JM2C
Why does this guy keep trying to set me up with guys who are already unavailable?
I'm not sure WHY he keeps trying to fix you up with unavailable guys, but if he was REALLY your friend, he wouldn't want you to be invoked in all that drama! If he was really your friend, he would want you to find someone totally free and unencumbered so that there would be some possibility of success that it could work out for you. Why does he want you to be a third party to that nonsense?!?!?! Tell him from now on, you will find your own man—and stay away from ANYONE with a girlfriend, wife, or significant other!
If a guy likes you why would he try to set you up with his friend?
I'd say he did it to see if you like him or not. Guy's logic is pretty simple when it comes to girls. Look at it like this: Guy tries to set you up with friend and you agree = He automatically thinks you like his friend and not him. Guy tries to set you up with friend and you disagree = He automatically thinks he might still have a chance since you might not like his friend. See?
Friends always try setting me up with someone i'm not physically attracted to?
This is not unusual. A lot of times, people are not looking out for you, but for the person they are trying to set you up with. They think you are a catch and here is this poor guy that needs a great woman. He will have said to them: "Do you know anyone you can fix me up with?" First, I'd explain to your friends exactly what you say here and that they risk the poor guy being let down or embarrassed, and that this will happen if it is not someone you are immediately interested in. When you are set up with someone like this, tell them you have found that only a certain kind of guy and chemistry really attract you, and you would be happy to hang out with them, but as a group and with the friend who introduced them to you. You are sorry if the "friend" that introduced them to you had misled them, and that the "friend" seems to not know what kind of person you would really like to date. This will let the guy down gently. After a couple of times of this happening, your "friend" will stop doing this, because the downside to your "friend"will not be worth it for this little matchmaker game they are playing.