My mother clearly favors my older sister...?
So, maybe this is a stupid answer, mabye it isn't. Maybe you should get a diary and write this whole thing down and then "accidentally" leave it somewhere where your mom would "accidentally" read it. Don't make it obvious you were trying to get her to read it. Change the words around so it really sounds like you were writing a diary and didn't intend for anyone to read it. Maybe she will realize she is hurting you. I don't know if this will work for you, it really depends on if your mom would ever admit that maybe she's not being the "perfect little mommy" and how well you can pull it off. I'm pretty good at that sort of thing but I guess not everyone is. It's worth a shot, I think. :)
My mom clearly favors my older sister? What can I do?
My mom clearly favors older sister, she's 17 and I'm 13. It's obvious that she prefers my sister. For example, a couple months ago we moved to a new house that had more bedrooms, but I ended up sharing a bedroom with my 8 year old BROTHER because my sister wanted to do an art studio in my supposed bedroom (and of course my mom let her). I asked my mom when I could get my own room and she told "when your sister goes to college". Also, my sister gets a new cellphone every year, sometimes she even gets 2 cellphones in a year while I just bought my first cellphone with the money I earned from winning tennis tournaments. I think my mother is bothered by the fact that I play tennis, she never supported me, it was always my dad who encouraged me. Meanwhile, my mother supports my sister in everything she does. My sister is a straight A student which earned me a lot of comparisons to her, my mother is always telling me to be a better student like her. The worst part is that my sister got a car for her sweet 16 and when I asked my mom if I would get one when I turn 16 too she said "Maybe not, a car for your sister is already a lot," and I perfectly understood that, only that when I told her I was going to start saving money to buy myself a car she told me "you better save money for college instead, because no one is funding that for you." And it's unfair because she will be funding my sister's college if she doesn't get a scholarship. She wants to go to NYU and my mother even wants to buy her an apartment in New York! I mean my mom can buy an apartment for my sister but she can't even buy clothes for me (literally all the clothes I have were given by my father or relatives). And what hurts me the most is that my mom hasn't go to any of my tennis tournaments, any. I don't doubt my mom loves me but she sure prefers my sister.
I am a twin, and it is clear that my mom favors my sister. What do I do?
You ignore it and love and live for yourself.Growing up my sister was and still is always the favourite. She was the tomboy, the bully and the gobby one. My parents adored her and I was ignored.You see, I was prettier, smarter and quieter. I had more respect (more so from fear of my parents than earned).I'm 35 now, I have a fantastic job, 2 beautiful kids and a loving husband. I have never needed my parents, I am where I am today through self determination and self love. It took me until I met my current husband to find myself but I finally have and realise I am what I am due to me not the people who raised me.One day you will see that your mother has no influence on who you grow up to be. If she favours your sister, so be it.Just love yourself.
My dad clearly favorites my younger sister. How can I stop feeling resentful?
This is not really anything to do with your sister. That is to say, like her if you like her, laugh together, share things together and be as sisters could be, if your relationship allows it.Do you get along? Are you friends? Don't lose that. For that is a gift you can both share.Now for the father bit… He's going to do what he does no matter who you are and unfortunately that is something as non- favoured children we have to accept!Resentment will hurt you. It will cause you lasting unhappiness. You don't deserve that.See this for what it is. RIDICULOUS!!!That a person would seek to openly favour one child over and in front of another child is RIDICULOUS!! But he's not the first and won't be the last to behave like this.Feel sorry for him because he's going to lose part of you…. The part that is obliged to him. For you are no longer obliged.Feel good for yourself because this has set you free!You won't be under scrutiny so much or if you are it doesn't really matter what he thinks does it?! For you are your own parent. You love yourself the most and you are good to yourself and can give yourself all the attention you need.Be free. Be you. Find the joy in that freedom…. And try not to resent your sister.. She will remain obliged. All that glitters is not gold…P.S. This doesn't necessarily mean you will lose respect for him.. But you will learn to stand back and see this for what it really is.. A gift . One that allows you to become the authentic you.
My mom favors my sister over me!?
my mom favors my younger sister like crazy. Even bystanders like my cousins, grandparents, and friends have told me that my mom clearly favors my younger sister so badly. I cant even sit next to my mom on the couch without my sister being there. My sister "Chloe" can do whatever she wants to bug/annoy/tease/hurt me because my mom will do literally nothing about it. She is spoiled rotten, but I not! My mom will actually yell at me, take away my phone, and put me in my room if I even just tell her to stop. Because she thinks I'm older so I can't do anything back. She is 10 and I'm 13 and I think I have to right to stick up for myself especially since telling on her doesn't work at all. In fact if I tell on her, then I get in more trouble because "she doesn't like fighting". I am mostly nice to Chloe, but she hates me and I think it's for fun because she knows she can literally do whatever she wants to me and never will get in trouble. It brings a lot of stress in my life and it has literally gotten to the point where I can't even hang out with friends without my mom forcefully making me let her join in with us teenagers. &my mom gets her whatever she wants when she wants. Today I was getting home and I had called my mom to wait for me before going to the pool, but Chloe didn't want to wait. So they left without me. I called my mom askedher why and she said "Chloe didn't want to wait, and she just wanted some time to get away" what should I do??
My mom favors my sister!?
My sister is 21 and I'm almost 15. My sister is favored by my mom and my mom makes it so obvious but she still denies it! My mom calls me fat when I'm not even over weight and my sister IS over weight! My sister will talk like a baby when she's around my parents and I tell her to stop talking like a baby around my parents and then my mom gets mad at me. My sister did, like, no extra curriculars in high school and I am in like every sport and was student council president and I'm in drama programs and I take piano lessons and I'm super smart and get good grades and I manage to have a lot of friends and a really nice person but my sister FAILED her algebra class in her senior year and my mom treats me like I'M the failure! She never tells me she's proud of me but she will constantly tell my sister she's proud of her. My mom told me that my sister gets to have my room when she moves back in the house after her last year in college and the rooms are the same size and there are no major differences between the rooms but I don't wanna move out of MY room! It's so not fair! She will always take my sister's side and NEVER mine! I'm not over exaggerating! If me and my sister are arguing she always takes my sisters side! Always! I also have two older brothers and I'm the youngest in the family. My sister is the second oldest. (I am favored by my dad, though) If you need some more info just let me know :)
My mom favors my little sister, why doesn't anyone believe me?
It's been like this since she was born (she's in middle school). My little sister has lots of name brand shoes, while I have 2 pairs of normal shoes. I don't mind wearing normal shoes, i'd just like some newer ones. One pair is winter boots and the other is worn out sneakers. I've had them for 4 years and my toe sticks out of the hole on the left one. I'M NOT EVEN JOKING. I asked my mom for new shoes a few days ago and she said, "we don't have money for that. Buy them yourself." I have about 10$ left of the birthday money my grandparents gave me. I don't think I can buy a lasting pair with that. Last night my mom and sister came home with a few things. She bought my sister a 50$ vanity, a new dress just because, and new sheets. She doesn't have anywhere to put a vanity and she has plenty of sheets. Also, why does she need a new dress? I told my dad about all this and he said "You only need one pair of shoes anyways." My little sister has TONS of shoes, anywhere from 12-15 pairs. I have one pair I can wear in summer and they're full of holes. My dad doesn't believe that my mom favors my sister. And they wonder why i'm so depressed. How ironic.
Why do parents insist they don't have favorites but clearly favor one child over the other?
As an adult child, I’ve seen favorites played in my parents’ lives (my dad and my mom’s brother are definitely favorites). I know who is favorite among my brother and me (though it’s less obvious than my parents’ generation.) I can see who my brother’s wife’s favorite is (and it breaks my heart that I can see it) and I think I know his as well. But I cannot see my own. I have two kids who I adore beyond measure. They are each a delight in various ways. I’m close to both in dramatically different ways — our relationships do not look alike. I have no idea which one is my favorite. I also don’t know which one is my husband’s favorite (though I could take a guess, I think my chance is 60/40 of being right).The thing is, we probably both subconsciously have one. And my kids probably know who it is by our behavior. But as actors in the behavior, it is SOOOO HARD to see for yourself. And as a parent, you want to love all your kids equally. And you want to like them equally. You want *all the things!* So, it’s hard to look at yourself and say, “I’m treating them differently.”I am 100% certain that my parents would not believe/acknowledge their own bias. They are *fabulous* parents who try very hard not to have a bias, but it’s there. It would break my mom’s heart to know that it’s visible. And to her credit, she has made it smaller and smaller over the years. (I’m still my daddy’s little girl, though.)So, the short answer is: it’s hard. We’re humans. Some of us are humans who are aware of these things and WORK on them. Some of us are struggling humans who don’t have the capacity for reflection and worry about this type of thing.Just know - you’re not going to fix it. They might fix it over time, if they have the mental, social, emotional and energy capacity. But you cannot fix it from outside. Just be the best you you can be (without kowtowing to abusive behavior), and deal with the fact that humans have bias.Peace…
Why do my parents favor my sister over me?
i cant wait for you to go off to college either. sounds pretty bummed over there. im srry youre going thru this, thats really unfair. im going thru the same thing, but im the oldest of 6 and that said, its my job to take care of EVERYTHING, even if it means taking the blame, and sometimes willingly. i wish i can give you enlightening advice, but what im bout to tell you is pretty cliche... TALK TO YOUR PARENTS, TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL, pour your heart out like youve just done to me. i know you prolly think they wont expect this of you, but sometimes doing things that ppl wont expect you to do throws them off balance and gets them thinking. just try it. ive tried, and to tell the truth, it didnt help much becus my family is traditional and im supposed to "stay in place" bein the child, but it did help mediate some of my hard feelings, and i know for sure what i said have crossed my parents minds, so they try to alleviate that pressure they put on me. i still feel it bad, but at least they know how i feel and plus, its like a parents curse to love you no matter what, not in a bad way, so they prolly dont favor your sister more. maybe theres a reason they give her special treatment and maybe not notice. but then again i dont know.... you should talk to your sister too. she shuld set an example for u, that ***** if things dont work out, i hope they will when you leave. just dont want wat ur sister has or anything for that matter, set your own path, and think more positive because its proven that thinking that way provides a better reality. trust me.