My mom always say negative about me, and that made me feel so unhappy. Is it okay if I cut down from my mom?
It is ok to cut out from any negativity from life and that includes your mom. But the bigger question that needs to be addressed here is 'who all will you cut out from life, anyone who talks negative about you?'I think your mom is giving you an excellent opportunity to learn one big lesson in life -"What other persons think about you, says a lot about what they are inside"There will always be tones of negativity around you, some you can cut out(do that instantly) but there will be some which you just cannot cut out, in those scenarios you will have to learn how to protect yourself and your interest. There are energy vampires all round, you need to fericiously protect your positivity.I think one other thing which parents teach us, ability to love someone unconditionally. Sometimes parents do not love their kids unconditionally, they want their kids to be like someone or do things they think are good; but expect to be loved just becuase they are the parents. Hence it might seem difficult but see it as an opportunity to check if you can love her unconditionally. Every tough situation is an opportunity to grow and become more resilient.
My mom is always so negative, it's affecting me badly. What can I do to stop her?
I don’t know how old you are, but I am going to offer you a very important life lesson. In life, we can either choose to try to change other people or we can try to change how we respond to other people that upset us.You have control only over how you respond to other people. You do not have control over other people’s natures or behavior. Yes, you can correct people, yes you can say don’t do that, yes you can say you are hurting me. But in the end, you get to control whether something hurts you or impacts you and you get to choose how you want to handle such things.So my first piece of advice is, don’t try to change your mom. Try to avoid putting yourself in situations which allow her to upset you or hurt you.I don’t know if your mom is always negative or if she is being negative because of the stress that she and your father are experiencing. If she is always negative, well, that is how she is. Perhaps she is worse due to the stress. If she is not normally negative, perhaps she is depressed and is having trouble seeing your artwork for the joyful effort that it is. Perhaps she is forgetting that you need praise and attention for your work, or maybe she simply hasn’t got the energy to give it to you right now.I can only tell you this. Moms are human. And they, like everyone else, only have so much energy to spare. Sometimes, this energy gets low and they have trouble showing their usual enthusiasm for the things their children do. Sometimes, when they are like this, they don’t even realize they are doing it. Sometimes they just need a hug from their children as much as their children need a hug from them.If your mom has always been negative, well, she isn’t going to change, so there is no point in asking her to do so. Just try to avoid allowing her negativity to upset you. Go elsewhere for praise for your art. If she is not normally negative, try to understand that she is stressed and having her own problems, and maybe she needs a little bit more love and support than usual.Regardless, try to understand that she doesn’t mean to hurt you. She is who she is, and she is stressed and worried right now. If she isn’t normally negative, in time, it will pass.
How do I stop letting people's negative comments toward me affect me so much?
Self-knowledge and a framework for what you value and where you are going will allow you to decide how seriously to take the negative comments of others.Some negative comments are opportunities for a self-check, a window to personal growth. Even if the person is being snarky, that doesn’t mean they don’t have a point! If you think they MAY have a point, respond to them in honest inquiry about their feelings on your presentation or behavior, and consider what they have said in respect to your own self-knowledge and plans for personal development. The snarks will feel heard, and like you a bit better.The people who seriously object to something you are or do will also feel heard, and best yet, you can find out what it is that you present or do that is genuinely offensive to others, perhaps even only this ONE other, and smooth your way in the world.We are all in this world together, and getting along is a good thing, but if you find that the comments of others do not match your self knowledge, and that considering the comment, you have not made an error in your own self knowledge, then dismiss it from your mind: They are merely mistaken. If someone says, “You are xxxx!” and reflection reveals that what you are is just not doing what they prefer, and that is not what you think is good, never mind that comment.If you find that the comment does not tend in the direction of the personal growth that you value, then that comment has no value for you. Dismiss it from your mind, or respond in a friendly manner that you really do not value being or doing whatever they suggest you should. If someone says, “You would be SO much more attractive if you did what I say more often and easily,” you can just disagree with that, and not feel the least defective for preferring to act as on your own judgement and priorities.People criticize others for many reasons. Sometimes you bug them - and that is a real thing about getting along, sometimes you reveal through contrast that they are not as lovely as they would like to feel - that is not your problem, sometimes they are finding you difficult to use - also not your problem, sometimes they are just jealous - not your problem.Try and figure out why people make negative comments. Act on them only if they are of value to you.
My father is very negative and his negativity affects my mood!help?
Most people have a high regard and respect for their parents. We look up to them for guidance, reassurance, and resolution to problems we may face. However, in your situation, it is very difficult to experience any of these qualities from a parent who is putting you down. Just because your dad is negative and feeling sorry for himself, doesn't mean that you have to allow it to drag you down. If he demotivates you, stay away from him as much as possible. You always have alternatives to listening to your dad. Is your mom the same way as your dad? You could ask her for reassurance. If that is not possible, I would ask other family members (brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc). At the very least, talk to your friends. If they are true friends, they will encourage you to become everything you want to be. If they don't, find friends who will. Finally, remember one thing. You are a unique individual. You have aspirations, dreams, and goals in life. There is NO person on earth who has the right to take that away from you! You were born to accomplish whatever it is that you have talent for, are gifted with, and want to share with others. You have a spark in your soul that never goes out. And nobody can steal it. If this helps, try it. When you go to bed, before falling asleep, think of all the things you are good at, all things you love, all dreams that you dream "big". If you do this constantly, your subconscious will act on it accordingly. Try it. It worked for me. I wish you well.
My parents are so negative?
Especially my father. Since I was a kid, he would always talk about death and humanity. Like, alot. Now that I'm 14, he starts talking about money and tell me about his really depressing past. He talks about wars and rapes and really depressing stuff. He even talks behind my mom's back when we're alone. He's extremely judgemental. He always tell me that "The world is a cruel place, nobody cares about you." He always tell me that he's going to die someday, And He thinks I'll leave him die alone. He doesn't believe in me, he thinks I'm stupid. He's not ambitious at all, He doesn't take chances. He always ruin my mood. I understand he does this because he doesn't want me to be "all rainbows and unicorns" type of person, but this is getting annoying because he's being really negative about life. He just won't stop talking about depressing stuff. When I tell him to stop, he will always say "I don't want you to be naive." I understand he loves me, But I don't want his negative attitude to rub on me. I'm a good student, I study hard, I don't do drugs or alcohol, I hangout with the right people, still, he doesn't trust me.
I'm so sick of negative people?
I'm 17 and people I associate with are always so negative. You know, in school and at home all I hear about is the recession, money and budget cuts. I know these things affect people and me but I'm sick of hearing about it. My mom is always talking about money and she curses a lot. At school everybody gossips and talks about each other behind their backs, you know calling people '' Sluts and whore and ugly''. People are always so grumpy and whenever I tell my family I'm going to be an actress they laugh and are like '' Yeah, just hop on the next bus to Hollywood'' and they're really sarcastic about it too. I'm 17 and all this negativity is really annoying me. How do I block it out? I don't live in a fantasy but I know everything will work out
How do I stop my mom’s negative and discouraging words from affecting me?
I will not defend your mom! But first, I do want to say that I'm sorry you're dealing with this. And I have dealt with it all my life, so I really know where you're coming from. Therapists teach this method of communication: “When you say/do XYZ, I feel ABC.” That did not work with my mom—she just told me not to feel that way. Wow. So…try not reacting. Just look at her or walk away when she's negative to you. Also, remember that her position as your mother does not actually give her any more authority than the guy who waited on you at the restaurant last night. I used to pretend that my mom was the clerk at the 7–11—if a stranger said the same thing to me, would it carry any weight? No. Your mom is just a person too. What she says does not have to affect you. Be sure you are counteracting her negativity with your own positive thoughts and affirmations. Now, I'm not telling you anything about where she may be coming from, because you requested that I not do that. But I will say that my husband pointed out some of my mom’s background and it actually helped me understand better why she says the crap she says. Not completely—it is always a work in progress, but understanding her better did help me. I also want to suggest counseling for you. Oh, and this book, The Dance of Anger. And you might also read Codependent No More. One more thing—look into personality disorders. You may find that your mom suffers from one. If so, you can't fix it, but you can learn how to deal with it. I wish you the best with this situation. Let me know if you have questions for me.